Father and motherhood

Necessary population

Fatherhood/Motherhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today many people may not be interested in having children and look down at those who take the time to have some children. Many forget that children represent the future generation. Without any children there will be no continuation of the people. With not enough children there will be not enough working people able to take care of the ones who can not work any more.

Respect, honour, and support for those who want to take care for the next generation is long gone. Although the modern world sends mixed messages about motherhood, the Bible affirms that children are a blessing from God and can be a source of happiness for parents.

 ³ Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah;+ The fruitage of the belly is a reward.+ ⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man,*+So are the sons of youth.+ ⁵ Happy is the able-bodied man* that has filled+ his quiver with them. They will not be ashamed,+For they will speak with enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Yet, the Scriptures are not blind to the realities of motherhood. The Bible records many of its challenges.

Choices to encounter challenges

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from the Garden of Eden

Throughout history men and women had to make their own choices. They could go their own way. The Divine Creator Jehovah God, has given humankind the right to prove that they themselves can manage this world. To make the best out of their life they have to make the right choices.

At the beginning of times the Creator gave the task to the first human beings (Adam and Eve) to multiply themselves. They had to take on the role of father and mother and to bring up children. Their children in turn had to make the choice to follow the commandments of God and creating new life, or to stay on their own and continue their life like they choose themselves.

Whatever choice the human being made, it would have implementations on their own free time and on what they could do in the future. Nothing has changed.  As in the early times of men, today those who would like to have children, have to make decisions which shall change their life for ever.

The choice of being with child will be a irreversible choice in life. Choosing for parenting and motherhood have a deep and lasting influence on the life and character of themselves and their children. These decisions can bring large changes in the parents’ life-style, so they need to be made carefully. They include such questions as: Should a mother work outside the home? If yes, how much? Who is to care for the children while the mother is away working? In the end, parents must do what they believe is best for their children and also what is right before God.

Equal in the eyes of God

Man and woman are both created in the image of God and are both equal in the eyes of the Creator. Not one is better than the other. Both have to prove themselves and make themselves worthy to enter the Kingdom of God.

Our society does not like men nor women to be unproductive, and caring for children seems for them something which does not generate money for the society. the pressure from outside can make it very difficult for men and women to choose to have children and to stay at home to take care of them.

Not alone

However, mothers need not feel alone in the struggle to make wise decisions. They can take great comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:11, which indicates that God takes special interest in the needs of mothers with young babies, whom he “will conduct with care.” God manifests such keen interest by providing in the Bible a number of guidelines that can make motherhood enjoyable and successful.

¹¹ Like a shepherd he will shepherd his own drove.+ With his arm he will collect together the lambs;+ and in his bosom he will carry [them].+ Those giving suck he will conduct [with care].+ (Isaiah 40:11)

¹⁰ They will not go hungry,+ neither will they go thirsty,+ nor will parching heat or sun strike them.+ For the One who is having pity* upon them will lead them,+ and by the springs of water he will conduct them.+ (Isaiah 49:10)

Someone to trust

Even those people who did at first did not want to know about God and His family, may trust the Creator that when they change direction and do want to leave this materialist world to foster a more spiritual world, God shall be willing to come to their help.

¹⁶ “The lost* one I shall search for,+ and the dispersed one I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen, but the fat one+ and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one* with judgment.”*+ (Ezekiel 34:16)

Loving incoming money

Today we can see lots of people who love the incoming money and who spend their time not on family matters but pure on leisure. Many grown fat, have become thick, have become gorged. Today we can see that many are defrauding the lowly ones and crushing the poor ones. The Bible warns us for those who wanted to go the path of money and material gain instead of spiritual gain.  Those who forsook God, who made them and despised the Rock of their salvation shall have to face, in the near future, the sword of God.

¹⁵ When Jesh′u·run*+ began to grow fat, then he kicked.*+ You have grown fat, you have become thick, you have become gorged.+ So he forsook God,* who made him,+ And despised the Rock*+ of his salvation. (Deuteronomy 32:15)

¹⁶ Therefore the [true] Lord,* Jehovah of armies, will keep sending upon his fat ones a wasting disease,+ and under his glory a burning will keep burning away like the burning of a fire.+ (Isaiah 10:16)

²⁶ And I will make those maltreating you eat their own flesh; and as with the sweet wine they will become drunk with their own blood. And all flesh will have to know that I, Jehovah,+ am your Savior+ and your Repurchaser,+ the Powerful One of Jacob.”+ (Isaiah 49:26)

Needing care, love and ingenuity

Jehovah, the Only One God, knows that children are small, delicate and tender, and that they need the necessary care. Those who want to give that care, not for their own gain or lust, God is willing to help.

² Shepherd+ the flock of God+ in YOUR care, not under compulsion,* but willingly;*+ neither for love of dishonest gain,+ but eagerly; (1 Peter 5:2)

God’s Word says that the person who “is guarding discernment is going to find good.”

⁸ He that is acquiring heart*+ is loving his own soul. He that is guarding discernment is going to find good.+ (Proverbs 19:8)

Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discernment is needed to sort through the unending range of leisure activities, gadgets, and trends that overwhelm mothers and children. Everywhere we are confronted with commercials. Constantly we are being bombarded with new products, better technology, and more services! Economic pressures takes a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.

We as Christians can take on the right attitude so that we can cope with those challenges. As a person we do have to determine what is essential and useful to ourself and to those we love. As parents we also should help our children to do the same thing.

Making the changes that are possible

When we are going to have children we should use common sense and sound judgement.

¹⁹ Jehovah himself in wisdom founded the earth.+ He solidly fixed the heavens in discernment.+ ²⁰ By his knowledge the watery deeps* themselves were split apart,+ and the cloudy skies keep dripping down light rain.+ ²¹ My son, may they not get away from your eyes.+ Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability,+ ²² and they will prove to be life to your soul+ and charm to your throat.+ ²³ In that case you will walk in security+ on your way, and even your foot will not strike against anything.+ ²⁴ Whenever you lie down you will feel no dread;+ and you will certainly lie down, and your sleep must be pleasurable.+ ²⁵ You will not need to be afraid of any sudden dreadful thing,+ nor of the storm upon the wicked ones, because it is coming.+ ²⁶ For Jehovah himself will prove to be, in effect, your confidence,*+ and he will certainly keep your foot against capture.+ (Proverbs 3: 19-21-26)

If you are currently working outside the home, can your family live on just your husband’s income? To help answer this question, determine how much your actual take-home pay is after subtracting taxes, child care, commuting costs, wardrobe, meals out, and extras. Also, your husband’s income may be taxed at a higher rate if your combined income puts you in a higher income bracket. You may be surprised how little is left over.

Some work fewer hours or closer to home, which may mean less money but more time with the children. If you decide to stop working and if your job has been important to you for your self-worth and sense of accomplishment, think about how you can maintain these important elements while staying home.

Juggling act

Balancing work and home is not easy, but can be done. There are millions of working mothers and a few thousands of fathers who embraced the idea that ‘quality time’ with the children could partly make up for frequent absences — and who have found the idea wanting. Many mothers today say that juggling the stresses of work with the responsibilities of home leaves them overworked, overstrained, and underpaid.

Full-time mothers or full time fathers who stay at home to look after their children say that they have to endure being patronized and downgraded by a society geared to glorifying paid work. In some societies being a housewife is no longer considered an honourable position, so women are pressured to have their own career, even if the extra income is not necessary. To be a houseman is considered even more grave than a housewife by many.

Men escaping their duties

While a growing number of mothers work longer hours, fathers do not always compensate. The Sunday Times of London wrote:

“Britain is a nation of absent fathers, according to new research showing that men spend as little as 15 minutes a day with their children. . . . Many men do not take much pleasure in spending time with their families. . . . By comparison, the British professional mother will spend 90 minutes a day with her children.”

Some husbands complain that their wife finds it difficult to delegate tasks because she insists that everything be done exactly the way she is used to doing it. “Otherwise, you do it wrong,” the husbands say. Obviously, in order to benefit from the cooperation of her husband, a tired housewife may have to be willing to make some concessions as to the way certain household tasks are done. On the other hand, the husband should not use that argument as an excuse to do nothing.

Taking up fatherhood

David Blankenhorn, one of the founders of the National Fatherhood Initiative, which promotes responsible, committed fatherhood, noted that in a 1994 survey of 1,600 U.S. men, 50 percent said that their fathers were emotionally absent during their childhood. Many of today’s fathers do not want to see this pattern repeated.

Fathers who are actively involved with their children can be a wholesome influence. Referring to research published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Toronto Star said that when fathers eat meals with their children, go on outings with them, and help with homework, there are “fewer behaviour problems, higher levels of sociability and a higher level of school performance among children and adolescents.”

The foregoing highlights an arrangement for raising children that is as practical today as when first penned over three thousand years ago. The Originator of the family specifically instructed fathers to be actively involved in raising their children.

 ¹⁴ On account of this I bend my knees+ to the Father,+ ¹⁵ to whom every family+ in heaven and on earth owes its name,+ ¹⁶ to the end that he may grant YOU according to the riches+ of his glory to be made mighty in the man YOU are inside+ with power through his spirit,+ ¹⁷ to have the Christ dwell through [YOUR] faith in YOUR hearts with* love;+ that YOU may be rooted+ and established on the foundation,+ ¹⁸ in order that YOU may be thoroughly able to grasp mentally+ with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth,+ ¹⁹ and to know the love of the Christ+ which surpasses knowledge, that YOU may be filled with all* the fullness+ that God gives. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

⁴ And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating* YOUR children,+ but go on bringing them up+ in the discipline+ and mental-regulating*+ of Jehovah.* (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers were counselled to inculcate a love for God in the hearts of their children and to speak to them of God’s regulations and commandments. God told them to do this ‘when they sat in their house and when they walked on the road and when they lay down and when they got up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Shared responsibility

Parenting is a shared responsibility. The Bible admonishes children: “Listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) The role of the father is vital. It includes supporting and respecting the mother and sharing in child-rearing tasks. It also requires spending time reading to and talking with the children. This fills a vital emotional need of children.

Unquestionably, the Bible is the most reliable source of counsel and sound principles for a well-adjusted family. A father who actively provides for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of his family is fulfilling his God-assigned responsibility.

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Find also to read:

1. Parenthood made more difficult
2. Having children interferes with work
3. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
4. Poverty and conservative role patterns
5. Gender Roles, What?
6. Dignified role for the woman
7. Gender roles and Multitasking parents
8. Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now
9. Avoiding the big questions
10. I started off with the little things….
11. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
12. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
13. Women Delivering Development: Reproductive Health, Environment and the Post-2015 Agenda
14. European Parliament stands for human dignity
15. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
16. Don’t be the weakest link
17. It Takes a Village
18. Choices
19. Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives
20. For those who make other choices
21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
22. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
23. Thirst for happiness and meaning
24. Remember there’s a light in the next day
25. Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past
26. The truest greatness lies in being kind
27. Be happy that the thorn bush has roses
28. Partakers of the sufferings
29. Life and attitude of a Christian
30. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator
31. God helper and deliverer

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