Father and motherhood

Necessary population

Fatherhood/Motherhood

Fatherhood/Motherhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today many people may not be interested in having children and look down at those who take the time to have some children. Many forget that children represent the future generation. Without any children there will be no continuation of the people. With not enough children there will be not enough working people able to take care of the ones who can not work any more.

Respect, honour, and support for those who want to take care for the next generation is long gone. Although the modern world sends mixed messages about motherhood, the Bible affirms that children are a blessing from God and can be a source of happiness for parents.

 3 Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah;+ The fruitage of the belly is a reward.+ 4 Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man,*+So are the sons of youth.+ 5 Happy is the able-bodied man* that has filled+ his quiver with them. They will not be ashamed,+For they will speak with enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Yet, the Scriptures are not blind to the realities of motherhood. The Bible records many of its challenges.

Choices to encounter challenges

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from ...

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from the Garden of Eden

Throughout history men and women had to make their own choices. They could go their own way. The Divine Creator Jehovah God, has given humankind the right to prove that they themselves can manage this world. To make the best out of their life they have to make the right choices.

At the beginning of times the Creator gave the task to the first human beings (Adam and Eve) to multiply themselves. They had to take on the role of father and mother and to bring up children. Their children in turn had to make the choice to follow the commandments of God and creating new life, or to stay on their own and continue their life like they choose themselves.

Whatever choice the human being made, it would have implementations on their own free time and on what they could do in the future. Nothing has changed.  As in the early times of men, today those who would like to have children, have to make decisions which shall change their life for ever.

The choice of being with child will be a irreversible choice in life. Choosing for parenting and motherhood have a deep and lasting influence on the life and character of themselves and their children. These decisions can bring large changes in the parents’ life-style, so they need to be made carefully. They include such questions as: Should a mother work outside the home? If yes, how much? Who is to care for the children while the mother is away working? In the end, parents must do what they believe is best for their children and also what is right before God.

Equal in the eyes of God

Man and woman are both created in the image of God and are both equal in the eyes of the Creator. Not one is better than the other. Both have to prove themselves and make themselves worthy to enter the Kingdom of God.

Our society does not like men nor women to be unproductive, and caring for children seems for them something which does not generate money for the society. the pressure from outside can make it very difficult for men and women to choose to have children and to stay at home to take care of them.

Not alone

However, mothers need not feel alone in the struggle to make wise decisions. They can take great comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:11, which indicates that God takes special interest in the needs of mothers with young babies, whom he “will conduct with care.” God manifests such keen interest by providing in the Bible a number of guidelines that can make motherhood enjoyable and successful.

11 Like a shepherd he will shepherd his own drove.+ With his arm he will collect together the lambs;+ and in his bosom he will carry [them].+ Those giving suck he will conduct [with care].+ (Isaiah 40:11)

10 They will not go hungry,+ neither will they go thirsty,+ nor will parching heat or sun strike them.+ For the One who is having pity* upon them will lead them,+ and by the springs of water he will conduct them.+ (Isaiah 49:10)

Someone to trust

Even those people who did at first did not want to know about God and His family, may trust the Creator that when they change direction and do want to leave this materialist world to foster a more spiritual world, God shall be willing to come to their help.

16 “The lost* one I shall search for,+ and the dispersed one I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen, but the fat one+ and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one* with judgment.”*+ (Ezekiel 34:16)

Loving incoming money

Today we can see lots of people who love the incoming money and who spend their time not on family matters but pure on leisure. Many grown fat, have become thick, have become gorged. Today we can see that many are defrauding the lowly ones and crushing the poor ones. The Bible warns us for those who wanted to go the path of money and material gain instead of spiritual gain.  Those who forsook God, who made them and despised the Rock of their salvation shall have to face, in the near future, the sword of God.

15 When Jesh′u·run*+ began to grow fat, then he kicked.*+ You have grown fat, you have become thick, you have become gorged.+ So he forsook God,* who made him,+ And despised the Rock*+ of his salvation. (Deuteronomy 32:15)

16 Therefore the [true] Lord,* Jehovah of armies, will keep sending upon his fat ones a wasting disease,+ and under his glory a burning will keep burning away like the burning of a fire.+ (Isaiah 10:16)

26 And I will make those maltreating you eat their own flesh; and as with the sweet wine they will become drunk with their own blood. And all flesh will have to know that I, Jehovah,+ am your Savior+ and your Repurchaser,+ the Powerful One of Jacob.”+ (Isaiah 49:26)

Needing care, love and ingenuity

Jehovah, the Only One God, knows that children are small, delicate and tender, and that they need the necessary care. Those who want to give that care, not for their own gain or lust, God is willing to help.

2 Shepherd+ the flock of God+ in YOUR care, not under compulsion,* but willingly;*+ neither for love of dishonest gain,+ but eagerly; (1 Peter 5:2)

God’s Word says that the person who “is guarding discernment is going to find good.”

8 He that is acquiring heart*+ is loving his own soul. He that is guarding discernment is going to find good.+ (Proverbs 19:8)

English: Children dancing, International Peace...

Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discernment is needed to sort through the unending range of leisure activities, gadgets, and trends that overwhelm mothers and children. Everywhere we are confronted with commercials. Constantly we are being bombarded with new products, better technology, and more services! Economic pressures takes a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.

We as Christians can take on the right attitude so that we can cope with those challenges. As a person we do have to determine what is essential and useful to ourself and to those we love. As parents we also should help our children to do the same thing.

Making the changes that are possible

When we are going to have children we should use common sense and sound judgement.

19 Jehovah himself in wisdom founded the earth.+ He solidly fixed the heavens in discernment.+ 20 By his knowledge the watery deeps* themselves were split apart,+ and the cloudy skies keep dripping down light rain.+ 21 My son, may they not get away from your eyes.+ Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability,+ 22 and they will prove to be life to your soul+ and charm to your throat.+ 23 In that case you will walk in security+ on your way, and even your foot will not strike against anything.+ 24 Whenever you lie down you will feel no dread;+ and you will certainly lie down, and your sleep must be pleasurable.+ 25 You will not need to be afraid of any sudden dreadful thing,+ nor of the storm upon the wicked ones, because it is coming.+ 26 For Jehovah himself will prove to be, in effect, your confidence,*+ and he will certainly keep your foot against capture.+ (Proverbs 3: 19-21-26)

If you are currently working outside the home, can your family live on just your husband’s income? To help answer this question, determine how much your actual take-home pay is after subtracting taxes, child care, commuting costs, wardrobe, meals out, and extras. Also, your husband’s income may be taxed at a higher rate if your combined income puts you in a higher income bracket. You may be surprised how little is left over.

Some work fewer hours or closer to home, which may mean less money but more time with the children. If you decide to stop working and if your job has been important to you for your self-worth and sense of accomplishment, think about how you can maintain these important elements while staying home.

Juggling act

Balancing work and home is not easy, but can be done. There are millions of working mothers and a few thousands of fathers who embraced the idea that ‘quality time’ with the children could partly make up for frequent absences — and who have found the idea wanting. Many mothers today say that juggling the stresses of work with the responsibilities of home leaves them overworked, overstrained, and underpaid.

Full-time mothers or full time fathers who stay at home to look after their children say that they have to endure being patronized and downgraded by a society geared to glorifying paid work. In some societies being a housewife is no longer considered an honourable position, so women are pressured to have their own career, even if the extra income is not necessary. To be a houseman is considered even more grave than a housewife by many.

Men escaping their duties

While a growing number of mothers work longer hours, fathers do not always compensate. The Sunday Times of London wrote:

“Britain is a nation of absent fathers, according to new research showing that men spend as little as 15 minutes a day with their children. . . . Many men do not take much pleasure in spending time with their families. . . . By comparison, the British professional mother will spend 90 minutes a day with her children.”

Some husbands complain that their wife finds it difficult to delegate tasks because she insists that everything be done exactly the way she is used to doing it. “Otherwise, you do it wrong,” the husbands say. Obviously, in order to benefit from the cooperation of her husband, a tired housewife may have to be willing to make some concessions as to the way certain household tasks are done. On the other hand, the husband should not use that argument as an excuse to do nothing.

Taking up fatherhood

David Blankenhorn, one of the founders of the National Fatherhood Initiative, which promotes responsible, committed fatherhood, noted that in a 1994 survey of 1,600 U.S. men, 50 percent said that their fathers were emotionally absent during their childhood. Many of today’s fathers do not want to see this pattern repeated.

Fathers who are actively involved with their children can be a wholesome influence. Referring to research published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Toronto Star said that when fathers eat meals with their children, go on outings with them, and help with homework, there are “fewer behaviour problems, higher levels of sociability and a higher level of school performance among children and adolescents.”

The foregoing highlights an arrangement for raising children that is as practical today as when first penned over three thousand years ago. The Originator of the family specifically instructed fathers to be actively involved in raising their children.

 14 On account of this I bend my knees+ to the Father,+ 15 to whom every family+ in heaven and on earth owes its name,+ 16 to the end that he may grant YOU according to the riches+ of his glory to be made mighty in the man YOU are inside+ with power through his spirit,+ 17 to have the Christ dwell through [YOUR] faith in YOUR hearts with* love;+ that YOU may be rooted+ and established on the foundation,+ 18 in order that YOU may be thoroughly able to grasp mentally+ with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth,+ 19 and to know the love of the Christ+ which surpasses knowledge, that YOU may be filled with all* the fullness+ that God gives. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

4 And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating* YOUR children,+ but go on bringing them up+ in the discipline+ and mental-regulating*+ of Jehovah.* (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers were counselled to inculcate a love for God in the hearts of their children and to speak to them of God’s regulations and commandments. God told them to do this ‘when they sat in their house and when they walked on the road and when they lay down and when they got up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Shared responsibility

Parenting is a shared responsibility. The Bible admonishes children: “Listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) The role of the father is vital. It includes supporting and respecting the mother and sharing in child-rearing tasks. It also requires spending time reading to and talking with the children. This fills a vital emotional need of children.

Unquestionably, the Bible is the most reliable source of counsel and sound principles for a well-adjusted family. A father who actively provides for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of his family is fulfilling his God-assigned responsibility.

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Find also to read:

  1. Parenthood made more difficult
  2. Having children interferes with work
  3. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  4. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  5. Gender Roles, What?
  6. Dignified role for the woman
  7. Gender roles and Multitasking parents
  8. Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now
  9. Avoiding the big questions
  10. I started off with the little things….
  11. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
  12. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
  13. Women Delivering Development: Reproductive Health, Environment and the Post-2015 Agenda
  14. European Parliament stands for human dignity
  15. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
  16. Don’t be the weakest link
  17. It Takes a Village
  18. Choices
  19. Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives
  20. For those who make other choices
  21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  22. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
  23. Thirst for happiness and meaning
  24. Remember there’s a light in the next day
  25. Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past
  26. The truest greatness lies in being kind
  27. Be happy that the thorn bush has roses
  28. Partakers of the sufferings
  29. Life and attitude of a Christian
  30. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator
  31. God helper and deliverer

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  • Letters To A Natalist World: Motherhood Is Not The Highest Paid Job In The World (childfreevoices.com)
    I know you want parenting to look as appealing as possible, but come on, who do you you think you’re fooling here?If being a parent is so great, then you shouldn’t have to lie about what it is to brag about it. These cutesy-wootsey, natalism-worshipping FaceBook share-fodder pictures with ridiculous captions have got to stop.
    +
    Rebecca Meyer wrote:
    It’s funny that people try to say we have kids so that we have something that will “love us unconditionally.” It’s not even accurate. Psychologically, children love Conditionally because they depend on the parent for food, water, shelter, and any other basic survival needs. Infants do not love a parent unconditionally (meaning even if the basic survival needs weren’t met). Unconditional love actually to me comes from relationships mostly not within the family because you don’t feel obligated to love the person like you feel when family members are concerned.
  • Motherhood!….Part 5 {Whither Womanhood} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    At every turn, motherhood praises are deafening! In songs, poetry and prose, motherhood is cast in gold and eulogized in every culture, race and creed! Little wonder the whole earth is referred to as “Mother Earth”!
    As things stand, motherhood seems to be rated above womanhood or regarded as the defining factor and crown of womanhood!
    In not-so-liberal cultures, barrenness or, not bearing the ‘right gender’ of children is considered the fault of the woman and enough grounds for dissolving a marriage or desecrating it with impunity!
    Many acclaimed preachers and religious teachers tell us that we are here to multiply, increase and fill the earth and where a middle-aged woman is not part of this multiplication equation, she is not fulfilling a Divine ordinance.
  • Motherhood!…….Part 4 {Children, Honor Fathers and Mothers} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    Generally, mothers are accorded a great deal of love and respect, even above fathers! Maybe because they are one of the first voices and faces the child recognizes; the first teachers; the caring hands that rock the cradle and, as a reward, the hand that rocks the cradle gets the larger dose of love!
    Conventionally, daddy provides the comfort and balm but, it is mommy who solicitously applies them and gets noticed more! Cherishing dear mommy is usually the nurturing ground for love and other virtues!
    In religion, parent-honor is almost a form of worship! Virtually every religion carves a special top-notch niche for fathers and mothers. The Christian Scriptures encapsulates it all with the Commandment “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”!
    However, the wrong interpretation of this Commandment has inadvertently worked untold hardship on many a child who struggles to obey it! How is a child to honor a father who has degenerated to a drunkard and drug addict; or a mother who through hot temper, loose tongue and lack of self-discipline torments the household?
    How can a child honor and revere parents who roundly abuse themselves and are frequently embroiled in violent quarrels?
    Unless the child is also contaminated, he/she can only pay lip-service and empty habitual respect to such parents. The impetus for pure love and heart-felt honor which streams from the soul is lacking! The child simply tags along in make-believe obedience!
  • God is Jehovah Shammah-God is There! (crosbyp12003.wordpress.com)
    Gods wants us to trust him with everything; hear that Everything. Sometimes we can get ahead of a God and think we have the answers. As new covenant believers God lives on the inside of us through the Holy Spirit. God is always with us. He does not turn his back on us to fend for ourselves . God wants to heal msny of us from a false view that he is a God ready to beat you down.
  • Motherhood (girlinterrupted28.wordpress.com)
    What makes a mother?This is a question I find myself asking much too often, practically on a daily basis.  Mostly because I wonder if I qualify.  If I am a mother.  When people ask how many children I have, when I have to fill out a form, when I watch friends struggling with their children or to create children at all…I ask myself.  Because I want to be a mother.  Because I was a mother.
  • Is there a “shortage” of single fathers? (dalrock.wordpress.com)
    Captain Capitalism found an article on eHarmony titled 15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom. The fifteen reasons boil down to various ways of stating that single moms are easy, they will mother you, and you get to have fun with kids.
    +
    there can be good reasons why a woman might find herself without the father of her children in the household, but the fact that he’s not around isn’t proof of her loyalty;  statistically speaking it is more likely than not an indication that she ejected the father from the home.  Aside from widows, it is at the very least a red flag which needs to be thoroughly vetted.
  • Motherhood In The Workplace: I Was Asked to Tone-Down the ‘Mommy Thing’ (tinystepsmommy.com)
    I decided to return to work after being home with AD for 20 months. My oldest AL was 8-years-old and my daughter B was only four-months-old. I was still nursing, yet I accepted a job in the corporate office of a franchise company to manage their communications. I wanted to give my “career” a chance. Looking back, I realize I was overwhelmed at home and suffering from a major case of the grass is always greener.
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    After our departmental meeting, my new boss pulled me aside and “suggested” that I don’t lead with the “mommy thing.” I was stunned and insulted and embarrassed. I figured she knew what she was talking about. I hadn’t worked in the private sector before. My experience was with not-for-profit organizations, trade associations, or at a newspaper. Again, I ignored my instincts.
  • Optional Parenthood (ordinarybutloud.wordpress.com)
    One of my mother friends finds it strange that out of my handful of closest friends in the world (and she is included on the list) two of them are childless. She thinks it’s strange because a) I’m so devoted to my own parenting; b) my life is seemingly arranged to facilitate parenthood; c) most of the friendships she’s made or maintained have come through her kids and the parents of her kids’ friends. It bears mentioning that this friend is someone I met years and years ago, before either of us had children. It’s not as if we became friends because we are both parents. We were already friends and then we became parents.
  • The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (childledchaos.me.uk)
    My mum first became a mother in the early 1960s. She was 20 when she got married, and a month over 21 when my eldest brother arrived. By her 24th birthday she had three sons, all under three.
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    Modern motherhood (and modern parenthood) is so far removed from five decades ago, it really is like comparing chalk and cheese. I can’t imagine how women (and it was almost exclusively women) in the 1960s juggled childcare and housework, let alone adding paid work into the mix.I was a decade older than my mother had been when I had my first child, and had a degree and a career (of sorts) behind me. I was made redundant when I was three months pregnant with our first child, and I applied for work after she was born. I therefore became the default primary carer.

    I ‘returned to work’ when my baby was five months old and, as I didn’t breastfeed, this was easy. I had three days a week paid work, leaving four days to concentrate on motherhood, and pretended that it was just perfect that I had the benefits of both work and home. How jolly!

    How untrue! Working part-time (or full-time) and being a full-time parent (because if you’re a parent, you are a full-time parent, especially when you’re the primary carer) doesn’t give you the benefits of both; it gives you the downsides of both. Multiplied.

  • Motherhood= Amazing (arichter0723.wordpress.com)
    Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mommy. I had many baby dolls and would take care of them as if they were my own.  I would pay attention to my mother and what she did for me, so I could be a better mommy to my “babies.” I would read to them, take them on car trips, and put them to bed right next to me. My babies were my everything.

Poverty and conservative role patterns

In the industrialised countries sometimes we can not help to get the impression that women are still more than once looked at as a lust-object.

Until the second half of the 20th century, women in most societies were denied some of the legal and political rights according to men. It has taken a very long time before women got the right to vote and to have their say in the house, community, village, city, country. In many industrialised countries the women got interesting positions but are not yet equally paid and do have to prove themselves twice as hard than the men. They may be allowed to share their thoughts and may have gained significant legal rights, we still can not neglect that women still do not have equality with men. This is evident at home, at their workplace, and in society in general.

In the 1890s when gender role reversals could ...

In the 1890s when gender role reversals could be caricaturized, the idea of an aggressive woman who also smoked was considered laughable. In 1929, Edward Bernays proved otherwise when he convinced women to smoke in public during an Easter parade in Manhattan as a show of defiance against male domination. The demonstrators were not aware that a tobacco company was behind the publicity stunt. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The traditional role of man was to work and make money, which would be used by all in the household. The traditional role of the woman was to stay at home, take care of the children, clean the house, and cook. Because society has always associated money with power, the person bringing home the money had the power. The man often made the final decision on all household matters because he had the money. Women were treated like they were property of men, with no voice about their own fate.

In many countries there are still more job offers for men and is it still easier for a man to climb the social ladder. A man can have both a family and a successful career whereas women who want to fulfil themselves as professionals have to sacrifice their personal life in most cases or, if they choose to have a family as well, they are sometimes regarded as bad mothers because they do not allocate 24 hours a day to raising their children.

Our society takes it for granted that the woman should take care for the children. The woman is made to take care of her own personal life and as a mother, she also has to take care of her children´s life. Lots of man still want to keep up their ‘higher position’ and look down at women who want to step onto the ladder of progress and a better position in business. On the other hand others do find the women who stay at home are lazy and are not willing to contribute to the welfare of the family, where the man should be the one who has to decide everything and the wife only has to follow his will. but many  of the contemporary society do not see that the person wanting to stay at home to take care of the children and the household should not at all be idle. the important task of bringing up children looks to be one of the most neglected tasks of this age. Women will always be important to society because they bring a sense of love, and emotion, and for this reason at least, society should start considering their situation more carefully.

Lathe operator machining parts for transport p...

Lathe operator machining parts for transport planes at the Consolidated Aircraft Corporation plant, Fort Worth, USA (1942). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our society has to become more aware that there is no superior or inferior person. We are all the same, created in the image of God the Divine Creator, so to consider that women are not as good as men is very wrong. Only to give women lesser roles to play in our society is not showing the full respect the woman deserves. We also should teach children that women can not be inferior just because they’re not men. Typecasting also can be a very dangerous sport. Women can do whatever a man can do and parents should let male and female children swap duties and play with the toys they would like to play with. In case a boy wants to play with puppets or dresses they should allow them, but should never try to impose on those children that because they prefer to play with puppets, that they would be gay.

Lots of gender problems we encounter today are provided by the specific typecasting of women’s and men’s roles, in the previous years. It is our willingness how to look at women and men which is going to decide how  people are going to treat others, also those who have a gender complexity or gender questions. The role of women in our society may have changed significantly and positively in the past three decades, but we still may find that girls are pushed by their parents in certain fields of study. Though we must be honest, in countries like Belgium, women do receive many opportunities and are challenged in all sorts of fields which fifty years ago were considered male jobs. A minus point in Belgium is that for several jobs done by women, they are still paid less than men, and that should be corrected.

Child care arrangements for children under age...

Child care arrangements for children under age 5 with employed mothers (by income); low income is defined as below 200% of the federal poverty level; source of data: http://mchb.hrsa.gov/mchirc/chusa_04/pages/0310wm.htm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Women and girls may have many more opportunities and face different challenges today, but often men leave them behind with the children, creating very difficult situations to avoid poverty. When we consider 60% of the average national income and the inability to receive enough income to pay for rent and living costs to be the poverty line than we notice that 14.7% of Belgians live below the poverty line, and that 22% of the women face poverty. Today Belgian industry should shame itself that it is possible that bakeries can ask 2,65€ for a brown loaf of 600 grammes whilst the person is only receiving 822 euros per month for singles and 1,726 euros per month for a couple with two children. Who can live on such a low income when we have to face rents of 750€ to 1200€ for a small flat?
In Belgium, one in seven people have to do with less! Increased energy prices and rising rents and housing affect our purchasing power and especially people with low incomes are there to suffer.

Risk factors for insecurity and poverty include divorce, economic dependence on a ( new ) partner, very low skills, long-term unemployment or weak employment situation, a debt mountain, old age. Retired persons are having it more difficult to cope and are not allowed to earn much extra or they loose their retirement premium. Because women are still living longer than men, they are the worst victim in that poverty range.

That there is still gender inequality we can see at the number of single mothers who take more than 80 % of single-parent families. Female heads of households are at high risk to be below the poverty threshold. After all, they accumulate the problems of struggling families where there is only one breadwinner with the weaker socio – economic position of women and the inefficiency of the social protection, such as inadequate protection of the unpaid care work and too limited compensation for the cost of children.

Married women staying at home form a larger and hidden group under the insecure women. Because of the generalization of the two-earner position the double income has become the average income welfare standard. The shrinking number of working women at home without income or benefit concentrates more and more among the low-skilled women with several children and by parents who made the choice that it is more important to have a spiritual upbringing than a material upbringing. For these women the benefits of a professional job outside the house do not outweigh by the accumulation of work and family responsibilities. Moreover, their lack of education and work experience and their economic dependence on a partner makes them a particularly vulnerable group .

Older single women are affected by the income -based pension. The wage gap against women in the labour market and by an incomplete career as a result of caring for children and relatives, many women receive in retirement hardly the statutory minimum. The fear of not going to receive any allotment making it possible to live properly when retired makes that many women do not want to take on house-duties, and prefer to have their children placed in childcare, while they can create a better and often a more than necessary income for the family.

The legal form that it is not necessary to have the marriage bond of man-woman, but that people can choose either to have a same gender matrimony or a looser living-together or cohabit contract, where people can more easily and legally swap partner, makes the position for the female person even weaker. We only can observe that in the end it seems in most cases the women are left with the children.

In the new-constituent families with the same sex parents, we can find similar questions coming up for whom is going to be the one who takes care for the behavioural education. They also will be looked at by others when one of the partners chooses to take care of the children and to give them special personal love and that extra education the schools are not providing any more.

Photo taken by me as an example of a stay at h...

An example of a stay at home dad and kids. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The number of stay-at-home dads began gradually increasing in the late 20th century, especially in developed Western nations. Though the role is subject to many stereotypes, and men may have difficulties accessing parenting benefits, communities, and services targeted at mothers, it became more socially acceptable by the 2000s, but now it starts loosing interest again because it becomes financially more difficult to survive when there is only one person working in the household.
There are now financial ramifications in deciding whether the mother or father should become the stay-at-home parent. In cases where the woman is the higher-paid parent, it makes more economic sense for her to continue to work while the man takes on the caregiver role.

With the growth of telecommuting, many men are also able to work from home. this made that either the woman or the man can work at home and be there for the children. Differences in parent‘s schedules can also account for some of the stay-at-home dads. Sometimes the father works odd work shifts while the mother has a typical nine-to-five work schedule.
Some retired males who marry a younger woman decide to become stay-at-home dads while their wives work because they want a “second chance” to watch a child grow up in a second or third marriage.

The choice of one of the partners, be it a man or a woman to stay some of the time or most of the time at home, is not looked favourably by the present generation. Those who make such a choice often have to face a very negative attitude from the society around them.

The patronizing attitude taken on by many, makes it difficult for many parents to choose for bringing up their children with the Law of God and getting them to know the Word of God.

Those families who do find it important that their children feel the warmth of a caring family, finding a parent at home when they return from school, receiving that extra information about the Higher Being, are confronted with the negative attitude of our contemporary society for the ancient ‘woman role’ of ‘housewife’, or the contemporary position of ‘houseman’.

It is true that, when we want to be a Christian family, we shall have to make the choice of diving our time between, work, school, leisure time and worship time. This will demand economical sacrifices, but there we should consider what would be the more valuable. Shall the ability to go twice or three times abroad on holiday, having the newest generation of i-phone or tablet, bring happiness?

When we want to be a Christian family should we keep to conservative role patterns? No, Christians also should evolve with time and should be aware of the possibilities they can get to work together as equal partners creating a safe home-ground for their children. They also may look at the Old and New testament examples of how women and men divided their task between each other.

The conservative Christians who do find that women do not have to play any part in decision making and/or in teaching the Word of God, should look better at the many examples given in the Holy Scriptures where women proved a very good asset in the upbringing of children and teaching them the Word of God.

Because that Word of God does not receive enough attention any more in our regions we as parents shall have to make choices and shall have to divide the duties at home to create enough opportunities for both partners to develop professionally well, and to develop as partner and parent, trying to create a place where the Word of God can receive the appropriate place. To succeed in such matter, financial sacrifices shall have to be made, as well as the making of the choice who will spend time at home with the children when. The father as well as the mother should each take some duties in the household and man also shall have to accept that the woman also shall work at the spiritual well-being of the child.

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Previous articles:

European Parliament stands for human dignity

Dignified role for the woman

Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

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Related:

About the poverty our world is facing now you may find:

  1. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #1 Up to 21st century
  2. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #2 First two decennia of 21st century
  3. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #3 Right to Human dignity
  4. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #4 The Family pact
  5. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #7 Education
  6. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #8 Work
  7. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #9 Consumption
  8. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #10 Health
  9. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #11 Participation
  10. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #12 Conclusion
  11. European Year for combating poverty spurred mobilisation and commitment
  12. Capitalism downfall
  13. Blow to legitimacy of the capitalist system
  14. Nearly 50 milion poor North Americans
  15. To Work Longer or Die Younger
  16. Demonizing families in poverty and misleading actions
  17. Jerez not an exception of poverty in Spain
  18. Poverty a European Issue
  19. Increasing wealth gap of immense proportions in the Capitalist World
  20. Self inflicted misery #1 The root by man
  21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  22. Manifests for believers #2 Changing celibacy requirement
  23. Being religious has benefits even in this life

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  • Census Says: Women Are Still Getting the Short End of the Stick (US) (feimineach.com)
    In 2012, women were statistically much poorer than men. And women that were already poor in 2011 stayed that way.
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    one in seven women live in poverty. One in seven. That’s almost 17.8 million women – or 14.5% of the female population. For men, this percentage is lower, at 11%.
  • Recalibrating the poverty line (blogforarizona.com)
    Our definition of poverty, Schwarz says, was calibrated in the 1960s and it’s in need of recalibration. Then, food was a third of an average family’s budget, and the poverty threshold was set at 3 times the cost of an adequate food diet. Today, food is one-sixth of an average family’s budget, but the poverty line is still set at three times the cost of buying food for a family.The poverty line is set at $23,500 for a family of four. According to Schwarz, it should be closer to $41,000.
  • Who’s Job Is It Anyway? (transnationalplanning.wordpress.com)
    how much women were able to thrive in an environment where the men were somewhat “absent”, that is to say, they were not engaged in the affairs that these women were tackling for whatever reasons. Patel & Mitlin stated: “Most of the most powerful women leaders came from among the lower-income and most socially disadvantaged neighborhoods, in part because in these areas the man had given up.” It was amazing to see the role that these women were playing in their communities. Without them, who knows how much worse things would be for their families.
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    Perhaps what we need is not a clear demarcation of what each respective gender should be capable of doing but rather the unhindered opportunity for anyone to be able to address a need. This needs to be an approach accepted by both men and women. In a symbiotic relationship, each member does what is necessary because all will benefit from it. No one stands on ceremony and debates or dictates roles. It just gets done.
  • The disease of poverty is a doctor’s business everywhere (janeparry.wordpress.com)One fifth of Hong Kong’s population lives below the official poverty line. This was set for the first time in September 2013, at 50% of median monthly household income before tax and welfare transfers.Hong Kong has one of the highest per capita GDPs in Asia and ranks 11th globally, yet its Gini coefficient, a measure of income inequality, indicates it has the worst income disparity in the developed world. The announcement of the poverty line and that there are 1.3 million people living below it has been big news in Hong Kong, but it hasn’t generated the sense of righteous outrage that such a statistic should.
  • The Shocking New Study On American Children In Poverty (davidmixner.com)
    In America, 22.5% of our children live below the poverty line. That is also one out of every four children! That comes to 16,400,000 children living without their basic needs of food, shelter, clothes, education, etc being met by our society.
  • Women, Indigenous Australians identified in poverty report (abc.net.au)A 10-year study has found Australia’s most disadvantaged are more likely to be women, Indigenous, and have health problems.To coincide with national poverty week, researchers at the University of Canberra have released a study which tracked 900 people for a decade, who were identified as marginalised in 2001.

    The study found 60 per cent of those identified by the study as marginalised in 2001 had escaped those conditions by 2010.

  • New Book Shows How to Curb Intergenerational Poverty (prweb.com)A new book, Parent Power: The Key to America’s Prosperity, by Dr. Jack Westman reveals the power parents have to create America’s productive citizens. They also have the power to create social problems in the context of intergenerational poverty.Dr. Westman calls attention to the fact that one-third of children and youth in the United States are failing in some aspect of their lives. The United States is at the top of the list of developed nations in child abuse and neglect and the bottom in educational achievement.

    Five children die every day from abuse in the United States. Three million referrals are made to child protective services every year.

  • When gender inequality is good economics (globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com)
    While we know that individuals, economies and societies would benefit from gender parity in the long term, gender inequality is often a perfectly rational choice for individuals in the short term.
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    Gender imbalances, and their resulting economic consequences, are still startlingly visible everywhere, from the developed world to emerging markets.