A New Perspective

Posted on 2013/11/05 by Belgian Biblestudents - Belgische Bijbelstudenten

More people should see the advantage they get when they can stay at home to spend time with the children. Taking time to teach the Word of God is one of those very important tasks given to us all, men and women. The stay-at-home mother with the right attitude can show the child how a Christian has to behave and how we as human beings can bring the Word of God into action, making the works of God visible to others.

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I think all of us have had “stuff” in our past that has caused us to have self-doubt and not believe God’s promises. We need to let go of our past, let go of our self-doubts, our disappointments, our baggage and anything else that is causing us not to believe God’s promises, move forward and stop questioning Why! It’s not where we have been, where we started, but rather how we finish that matters. It is changing our perspective and running the race with Him, letting go of our ugly pasts and basking in His Word today moving forward!
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It's All Grace

Imagine going to a job each morning where you can set your own schedule. You arrive when you want, take breaks whenever you want, and leave for an extended lunch hour without anyone breathing down your neck. Answering your phone calls and emails is regulated to a minimum each day, and the work responsibilities and goals you have are varied. There is no dress code or security passes to wear around your neck, and no one cares if you eat at your desk or play your favorite radio station. Your boss is off-site, and you can manage your workload to best suit your needs. Your work is rewarding and exciting, and you usually see immediate results from your efforts. Wouldn’t we all love to have a job that fits this description? As a homeschooling parent, you do!

Many homeschooling parents get caught up in the fact that they never receive…

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Importance of parents 2

Posted on 2013/11/04 by Belgian Biblestudents - Belgische Bijbelstudenten

In our ever changing world coming closer to the End of Times, much more things would go wrong and disturb many people. the world evolving to go to the wrong end makes the position of the parents, the guides of the next generations more important.

Parents (Photo credit: leef_smith)

The parents would not be able to escape from the consequences things which happen in the world. It is possible their family would also be tested be what is going on. How can you keep these problems from arising in your family? Clearly, every member of every family needs to learn and to value some principles that rule out abusive and wrong conduct. The best place to find that kind of guidance is in God’s Word, the Bible.

The parents are the once who should take care in the first instance of the children they brought on to this earth and should raise. True Christians realize that the Creator God has provided a manual for the world. It is available for all those who like to know how the world is, what the world can do and how the world is to evolve. The Originator, Creator of all things gave His Guide to the world, with all His principles. Those full instructions are recorded in the Book of books, the Bible. God his Word has not changed, though the world has changed a lot and tried everything to destroy that Word.

God sees every deed we carry out, even those that are hidden to most humans. The Bible says:

“All things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.” (Hebrews 4:13)

“Love,” the Bible tells us, “is a perfect bond of union.” (Colossians 3:14)

As described in the Bible, love is not simply a feeling. It is defined by the way it motivates — by the conduct it prompts and the deeds it forbids. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) By love man and wife should come together and unite to be with child. Making children out of love, they shall have to receive the full love parents can give. In the family, showing love means treating each member with dignity, respect, and kindness. It means living in harmony with God’s view of each family member. God gives each one an honourable and important role.

The parents do have to rip the cover off those frauds in this world and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. they have to wake up from their sleep they perhaps had previously in this world full of many traditions not according to the Will of God. Uniting man and woman as wife and husband they should try to find the light Christ will show them. They have to watch their steps and use their head. They shall become confronted with many opportunities and will have to make the most of every chance they get.

These are desperate times! Therefore we must be observant and not live carelessly, unthinkingly. Parents have to make sure they understand what the Master wants. The apostle Paul gives advice like not to drink too much wine, which cheapens the parents their life. They better drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of Him.

Jesus Christ has given the world his good example how to behave. Out of respect for Christ, they should be, like every person who calls himself or herself a Christian, courteously reverent to one another. Wives, should understand and support their husbands in ways that show their support for Christ. The husband who provides leadership to his wife, should do this in the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, should go all out in their love for their wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. As Christ’s love makes the church whole, his love makes also the family to one unit, blessed in his name. His words evoke not only the beauty of the church, the ecclesia or parish, but of every member of the household. Everything Christ did and said was designed to bring the best out of his followers. In the same way parents should, as part of the body of Christ, carry the unselfish love with them, dressing each other in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.

As the family head, the father is to take the lead in showing love. He understands that a Christian father is not given license to be a tyrant, abusing his power over his wife or children. Rather, he looks to Christ as his example in headship.

²¹ Be in subjection to one another+ in fear of Christ. ²² Let wives be in subjection+ to their husbands as to the Lord, ²³ because a husband is head of his wife+ as the Christ also is head of the congregation,+ he being a savior of [this] body. ²⁴ In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.+ ²⁵ Husbands, continue loving YOUR wives,+ just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it,+ ²⁶ that he might sanctify it,+ cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word,+ ²⁷ that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor,+ not having a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.+

²⁸ In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, ²⁹ for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it,+ as the Christ also does the congregation, ³⁰ because we are members of his body.+ (Ephesians 5:21-23- 25-27)

Parents Cerebral Palsy – Children both NO C.P. * Spring 1978 (Photo credit: Whiskeygonebad)

Though parents must be cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16) should in their wedding flee from the desires incidental to youth and should start pursuing righteousness, faith, love, peace, with the willingness to share everything with their partner and the offspring. (2 Timothy 2:22) They should do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egoistic intentions. In the household nothing may be done through strife or vainglory, but should be done in lowliness of mind letting each esteem the other better than himself. (Philippians 2:3)

So the man must be tender and loving with his wife and patient and gentle with his children. He loyally should protect them and give his all to prevent anything from happening that might rob them of their peace, their innocence, or their sense of trust and safety.

Likewise, the wife and mother has a role of vital importance and dignity. The Bible uses the protective instincts of mothers in the animal kingdom to illustrate how protective Jehovah and Jesus can be.

³⁷ “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the killer of the prophets+ and stoner+ of those sent forth to her,+—how often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks together under her wings!+ But YOU people did not want it. (Matthew 23:37)

A human mother, bound by law to her husband while he is alive, (Romans 7:2) should likewise be staunchly protective of her children. Lovingly, she is quick to put their safety and well-being ahead of her own. The parents do not allow abuse of power, bullying, or intimidation to enter into their dealings with each other or with their children; nor do they allow their children to use such tactics on one another.

Parents should take the Word of God at heart and should also let their children know that infallible Word. In the Bible they can find the basic principles that can help. Many fathers have found that they and their families benefit when they follow the wisdom found in the Bible.

Surely there are many things parents can do for their children, including the sacrifices they shall have to make to feed them and provide them with an adequate home. Parents would not do such things if their children were not important to them. Yet, if they do not spend significant amounts of time with their children, they might conclude that the parents care more for other things, such as their job, their friends, or their hobbies, than they do for them.

Parents should be aware of those feelings of the children and should take care that the children always shall be able to feel that the parents are there for them. Marriage is a Divine institution and each person playing a role in the unity God wanted to see, from the beginning of the world, should make the best out of his role working for the other and being ready for the other, out of love. Today we can find couples of the same sex, but originally God provided the first act of marital union so that there may be a further population. The basic pattern by the creation given is simple – a man (male) will leave the confines of parental authority (again male and female) and cleave to his wife (female) and thus become one flesh.

This creation ordinance was also affirmed in the teaching of the Nazarene Jesus Christ. When questioned on the issue of the validity of divorce, he reminded his audience that the first couple were male and female and then quoted Genesis 2:24.

²⁴ That is why a man will leave his father and his mother+ and he must stick to his wife* and they must become one flesh.+ (Genesis 2:24)

The master Jesus said:

⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother+ and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’?+ (Matthew 19:5).

Man and woman were to be united, joined to be one body, to “be one flesh”. (1 Corinthians 6:16)

Today we should still have the continuance of this Divine design of marital union where man and woman, becoming parent should not depart from each other until death comes in between.

³¹ “For this reason a man will leave [his] father and [his] mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”+ (Ephesians 5:31)

⁴ Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement,+ for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.*+ (Hebrews 13:4)

¹⁰ To the married people I give instructions, yet not I but the Lord,+ that a wife should not depart from her husband;+ (1 Corinthians 7:10)

We all should try to become good parents, fulfilling the Wish of God and His creation.

Preceding articles:

Importance of parents 1

Father and motherhood

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

Find also:

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Also of interest:

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Equal? (dizzydaisydoo.wordpress.com)
Are men and women a) equal in the full definition of the word, or b) are they equal with different roles, or c) are they not equal? (okay, it’s definitely not c.) If you think it is, you really need to re-read the Bible.)
A Comparison Of Rahab In Bible (dwilliamcruise.wordpress.com)
Surely, a quality Christian education may be the most valuable gift any child can receive. Through the guidance of Christian parents and teachers, children will become mature Christians, devoted to a life of loving “the Lord thy God with all thy heart, together with all thy soul, and just about all the thy mind” (Matthew 22:37b), reflective of Christ’s love that dwells within them.
Why does God hate divorce? (altruistico.wordpress.com)
Malachi 2:16 is the oft-quoted passage that tells how God feels about divorce. “‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel.” But this passage says much more than that. If we back up to verse 13, we read, “You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, ‘Why does he not?’ Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.”
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God clearly explains His reasons for esteeming marriage so highly. He says it was He who “made them one” (Malachi 2:15). Marriage was God’s idea. If He designed it, then He gets to define it. Any deviation from His design is abhorrent to Him. Marriage is not a contract; it is a covenant. Divorce destroys the whole concept of covenant that is so important to God.
Does the Bible Say that Women are Distinctly Under the Authority of Their Fathers? (afittinguncertainty.wordpress.com)
As both experience in the world and the Bible testify, the instruments of interpretation (humans) are at our best bent, and at our worst self-servingly disingenuous to the facts in front of us. I think that true humility consists in an understanding of our own fallibility when it comes to matters of interpretation (that goes for all interpretation, and it gives rise to this blog’s title).
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Within the Christian context in which I was brought up, people believe (I would even call it an assumption) that the father of girls has a specific authority over that girl that is distinct from what he has over boys. There’s nothing “creepy” about it–the (well-meaning) idea is that the father is supposed to protect his daughter by keeping bad boys away from her (this mostly crops up during discussions of relationships). This comports with experience up to a point–most people think that young girls (like 13) do need to be protected to a degree (experience differs about whether this is distinct from the protection of, say, a 13 year-old boy, but that’s not the point of this post). But I have heard it (and seen it acted on) many times, that before a girl can date a guy (or “court” or whatever you prefer to call that), the guy has to get the approval of the girl’s father. This includes the father’s ability to say “no” when both the girl and the boy want to date. I have seen guys “date” their hopefully future girlfriend’s dad, where the dad hangs out with him, makes him read books, etc, to “vet” him. Note that there is no corresponding “vetting” of a girl from the boy’s parents, which is why I frame the question the way that I chose to (“Does the Bible say that women are distinctly under the authority of their fathers?” The “distinctly” is doing a lot of work in that sentence, as it does in practice).This leads to my question: Where does the Bible proscribe, or even describe, this practice? This practice does not pass my definition of compelling. There is no text, or stream of texts, or coherent theme throughout Scripture, that rules out a mutually exclusive conclusion (such a conclusion would be: the Bible has nothing to say about a distinct authority fathers have over their daughters, so it is up to the conscience of the individual family–I did not say “father” because that presumes that fathers have a distinct authority for such decisions–determine what that means). In other words, this idea that women are specially under their fathers’ authority (until marriage) is pretty far into the “interpretation-dominant” area of the compelling spectrum.
What’s “Biblical” About It? (kingdomventurers.com)
Regarding male and female behavior I’ve come to the conclusion that masculinity and femininity are social contrivances or social regulators which help us navigate our relationships. Again, the Bible does not tell men how to behave like a man or a woman how to behave like a woman. The Bible does tell us in very simple general statements how we as men and women are to relate to the opposite sex and to each other. The Bible also provides us with examples of what men find attractive in a woman (e.g., the Shulammite woman of The Song of Solomon & the industrious woman in Proverbs 31) and what women find attractive in men (the Ruth/Boaz story). Masculine or feminine qualities, if there are such things, are worked out between each man and woman in the give and take of relationship. They certainly are not the rubber stamping of contrived gender roles promoted by such “Let’s-Get-This-Nailed-Down” Conferences.
Godly Parenting & the Bible by J. C. Ryle (ilyston.wordpress.com)
See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ.
Sharing Jesus with Your Children (ourdailybread101.wordpress.com)
This is the mistake so many parents are making today. They spend their time telling their children “Don’t do this. Don’t do that. That’s wrong.” By such behavior, these parents are failing an entire generation. Many times, children are never shown the riches of Jesus Christ. In every 24-hour cycle, there are a multitude of teachable moments for sharing and modeling life in Christ.
Controlling Our Children? (yesihomeschool5.wordpress.com)
The most recent idea I have run across is the thought that we cannot and should not control our children, but rather, only the Holy Spirit can do such. I believe that is completely unbiblical hogwash! Of course the Holy Spirit can guide and direct a saved child that is learning to be a spirit filled believer, however, the Bible also teaches not only that children are to obey their parents, but, that the parents are, in fact, to demand the obedience, and yes, to control their children.
A Terrible Parent…. (derrickskelton.wordpress.com)
Here I am a Children’s Pastor, weekly sharing the importance of God’s word to kids and families… and I haven’t purchased by own kid the appropriate Bible. While this made me feel like a “Terrible Parent”, I was reminded of how we all are imperfect which is why there is a need for God…. As parents we all make mistakes.. WE have days we wish could be erased in our parenting… But how great it is to know that God knows where we are and exactly what we need…. and even more HE knows what our kids need…. I pray daily that my failures in life will not be my kids failures… And when they see me fail…they also see me “get back up”…..
Version 40.4: The Bible: A Word For All Ages (lie77.wordpress.com)
Regardless of your age, become a “little child” for a minute. Come to Jesus as one would to a loving parent. No requests. No expectations. You don’t have to brush your teeth or comb your hair. Simply come and linger in His presence, experiencing His love for you. Why not take a moment to do this right now? Learning from the Bible is the best way to build a “rock-solid” spiritual foundation. From the Bible’s inspired pages you will learn who God is, how He wants you to live and how He will guide you.

Importance of parents 1

Posted on 2013/11/04 by Christadelphians

Jehovah, the perfect Father, greatly esteems godly parents who try hard to educate their children spiritually. When the children respond, they find great joy in pursuing true worship together with their parents. As such children mature, they store up pleasant memories of such experiences.

When we look at the children in the world and question their feelings with their parents, we may notice that many have a real connection with their parents which is unforgettable. About the importance of the role of the mother and the father we notice also that those children who lost one of their parents in early childhood may have to face many problems in their future life.

Even when they may consider themselves devoted husbands or wives, having the blessing of children they can suffer with depression and being constantly struggling with issues of faith and spirituality. when the child get mothered it takes it for granted to have its mother close by, nurturing, and able to catch it when it falls or help it when something goes wrong. for the child the mother often is the shell of their identity. When the mother dies early the safe-haven goes away, the shell collapses and all the pieces become shattered to lay fragmented in a heap. This may bring the child in despair and though things may go not so bad in life make it still to faced a constant battle with depression.

Cover of Questions of Life

Often the questions of life are shouted at the one several of the world consider the Creator. Most people when something goes wrong in their life give God the creator the fault of it. They forget what happened in the Garden of Eden and why man has to figure it out on his own. Many do not see the origin nor the reason why this world is so often in the struggle for life. They also question the matter of Grace. They question themselves about conditions on grace such as “you must do… or “this must happen”. Some try to put themselves at ease by thinking we receive Grace for nothing, so we should do nothing for it now. But they are mistaken. The Grace is really given for nothing, but when we do not live up to it, have no faith, do not believe nor want to worship a God we shall not receive the entrance to the Kingdom of God, though the grace was also given to us. faith without works shall be dead and result in death.

But in our life we are already able to receive the blessings of the Grace given unto us, because unto us a child is born. In our life we shall have to face the world in which we do have to live. We can’t escape this world-system. As long as Jesus did not return we are bounded to this system with all its problems.

It would be wrong to despair because the things not always evolve like we want. We must be conscious that often it is often our own minds which trick us and want to concentrate on our own self. Not out of despair but rather, out of self awareness we often go into a battle we cannot win on our own. Instead of focussing on depression we much better would focus on living life.

Those who encountered something bad in their childhood or in their parenthood may have their mind broken. But they should know that the next generation, their kids will still need a father or a mother. The wife shall need a husband the same as the husband shall need his wife. And both their lives need to be lived.

Though our world may be offering us lots of battle we may not let us be carried away and get depressed because we can not manage. Perhaps we even manage much better than we ever would think of ourselves. Often we do forget that we can give our worries to the Father in heaven, who would do much more than any father on earth. Would it not sometimes be better to trust that Creator God, and accept Him as our Best Father? Would it not be better that those who can fight, do it but for the rest of us, and that we all join hands to stand in God’s grace and enjoy our moments letting God handle our shortfall?

Preceding articles:

Father and motherhood

Gender Roles, What?

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Dignified role for the woman

Having children interferes with work

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now

Next: Importance of parents 2

Concerning:

Please do find also to read:

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Growing up in Ireland report raises issue of stress and depression in parenting (irishtimes.com)
Greater supports for parents with depression or stress and more help for women at risk of giving birth to premature or low birth-weight babies are recommended in the latest Growing Up in Ireland report published today.The report, based on the study since 2006 of 11,000 children from the age of nine months, highlights the role of parenting and family contexts in child development.“Even from a very young age, the sensitivity that parents show when interacting with their babies is important for their development,” says co-author, Dr Elizabeth Nixon from Trinity College Dublin.
- Lack of investment in early years care will cost society dear
- What’s ‘good enough’ parenting?
“Both mothers’ and fathers’ parenting behaviours can be negatively affected by stress and depression, but babies can be protected from these potentially negative influences if sensitive parent-child interactions can be maintained.”

For both parents, a significant association was noted between higher levels of depression and higher levels of stress. Maternal stress was strongly associated with difficult temperament in a child, though this was less pronounced in the case of fathers.
An Example of How the Conflict Between Parents Can Seriously Children (sbwire.com)
The family court heard how the conflict between parents can seriously affect their child. The Court did not find that it would be in the best interest of the child for his parents to have equal shared parental responsibility due to the high level of conflict between them. Thus, the mother was awarded sole parental responsibility and the father was allowed to spend time with the child during specified dates.
The Psychology of Neurotic Romantic Attraction (psychologytoday.com)
One of the most common problems psychotherapists see today is a chronic pattern of dysfunctional love relationships. The person’s chosen partners typically share consistent similarities, such as physical and/or emotional abuse, unavailability, substance abuse, instability, lying, cheating, narcissism, etc. And each relationship eventually and inevitably ends badly because of these repetitive dynamics. After a while, such destructive relationship patterns–totally obvious to everyone else–start to become more apparent even to the patient. And then the glaring therapeutic question becomes: Why would anyone in his or her right mind persist in pursuing relationships that are clearly doomed to frustration, humiliation and failure?
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The repetition compulsion is a neurotic attempt to rewrite or undo one’s personal history. The history we try to rewrite is typically the troubled or unsatisfactory relationship with our parents, particularly, but not always, the opposite sex parent. When the early parental relationship is fraught with frustration, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, neglect or abuse, the child is in a precarious spot. As young children we mistakenly conclude that the problem with the parent(s) resides with us, and that, therefore, we possess the power to rectify it by changing ourselves into someone more acceptable to our parents. This illusory cognitive core belief not only nurtures our magical hope, but provides a much-needed sense of power and control over our environment, of which, in reality, children have very little. Children are, for the most part, victims of circumstance, possessing minimal control over their lives. No matter how cleverly they try desperately to change the distressing situation, it is typically to no avail.
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unconscious choices in life which we are unaware of making but nevertheless still do, are potentially the most dangerous and destructive decisions. Because they are basically “blind” choices, driven not by the present and what is best for us, but by the past and what traumatized us, by that from which we are running. This is the nature of a neurosis.
3 Ways To Ensure Your Parenting is an Epic Fail (greatbaygospel.wordpress.com)
First off, there are far more than three ways to blow it as parents. Secondly, I know all of these through experience. Third, God’s grace is not dependent on our success or failure as parents. But we are responsible for how we steward the children he entrusts to us.
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We have no control over whether or not God regenerates our kids hearts. We do however, have all kinds of control over whether or not we are communicating the gospel to our kids. Don’t just assume your kids are ”picking it up” from being around a church, but intentionally speak and show the gospel to them.
Devotional 04.11.2013 (thelifeofastrangercalledme.wordpress.com)
The “grace of faith” is an effective remedy against fainting in times of trouble. Jesus Christ is our hope of glory, and because of that hope we have in Him, that hope we have is enough to encourage us during our times of distress. And that distress is that advantage, that leverage we need for the glory of God to be even more visible in our lives.
The blessing to me, that was blessing my daughter. (kylesweeklythoughts.wordpress.com)
I do think there are equality issues within the Church and culture that need to be addressed, and I think that this movement is shining a light on areas of inequality. However, my own personal opinion is to have patience with the Lord’s revelatory process and look at the way the system now works and search for the good that exists because of the current sex-segregated priesthood system while not putting blinders on to any gross inequalities and injustices.
Holding Them Closer – Carl Desportes Bowman (blithespirit.wordpress.com)
Nearly 30 years ago, sociologist Robert Bellah and his team of co-authors in Habits of the Heart (1985) described the American parenting ideal as the production of independent children who “leave home,” both figuratively and literally. To never leave home, they wrote, violated the cardinal American virtue of self-reliance, contradicting self-understandings that individuals should “earn everything we get, accept no handouts or gifts, and free ourselves from our families of origin.” The essence of parenting was preparing children for just such a separation, reflecting the American belief that a meaningful life could be had only by breaking free from family and giving birth, in a sense, to oneself.
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Parents still hope, of course, that their adult children will attain financial independence, but this aspiration is no stronger than the hope that children will retain “close ties with parents and family”—both are considered “essential” by about half of American parents. The quest for long-term connection with children has taken central stage. Parenting is still about formation, but its overriding concern has pivoted from formation to connection.
Incarcerating Parents and Family Members – Why Our Jail-Happy Judges Are An Embarrassment (researchingreform.net)
The very real problem of non disclosure and other concerns the family courts must deal with on a daily basis should not be trivialised, but whilst the problems are serious, and it may seem as if intense punishments are the order of the day, they neither deter desperate parents nor improve the outcomes for children.

Father and motherhood

Posted on 2013/10/29 by Belgian Biblestudents - Belgische Bijbelstudenten

Necessary population

Fatherhood/Motherhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today many people may not be interested in having children and look down at those who take the time to have some children. Many forget that children represent the future generation. Without any children there will be no continuation of the people. With not enough children there will be not enough working people able to take care of the ones who can not work any more.

Respect, honour, and support for those who want to take care for the next generation is long gone. Although the modern world sends mixed messages about motherhood, the Bible affirms that children are a blessing from God and can be a source of happiness for parents.

³ Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah;+ The fruitage of the belly is a reward.+ ⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man,*+So are the sons of youth.+ ⁵ Happy is the able-bodied man* that has filled+ his quiver with them. They will not be ashamed,+For they will speak with enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Yet, the Scriptures are not blind to the realities of motherhood. The Bible records many of its challenges.

Choices to encounter challenges

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from the Garden of Eden

Throughout history men and women had to make their own choices. They could go their own way. The Divine Creator Jehovah God, has given humankind the right to prove that they themselves can manage this world. To make the best out of their life they have to make the right choices.

At the beginning of times the Creator gave the task to the first human beings (Adam and Eve) to multiply themselves. They had to take on the role of father and mother and to bring up children. Their children in turn had to make the choice to follow the commandments of God and creating new life, or to stay on their own and continue their life like they choose themselves.

Whatever choice the human being made, it would have implementations on their own free time and on what they could do in the future. Nothing has changed. As in the early times of men, today those who would like to have children, have to make decisions which shall change their life for ever.

The choice of being with child will be a irreversible choice in life. Choosing for parenting and motherhood have a deep and lasting influence on the life and character of themselves and their children. These decisions can bring large changes in the parents’ life-style, so they need to be made carefully. They include such questions as: Should a mother work outside the home? If yes, how much? Who is to care for the children while the mother is away working? In the end, parents must do what they believe is best for their children and also what is right before God.

Equal in the eyes of God

Man and woman are both created in the image of God and are both equal in the eyes of the Creator. Not one is better than the other. Both have to prove themselves and make themselves worthy to enter the Kingdom of God.

Our society does not like men nor women to be unproductive, and caring for children seems for them something which does not generate money for the society. the pressure from outside can make it very difficult for men and women to choose to have children and to stay at home to take care of them.

Not alone

However, mothers need not feel alone in the struggle to make wise decisions. They can take great comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:11, which indicates that God takes special interest in the needs of mothers with young babies, whom he “will conduct with care.” God manifests such keen interest by providing in the Bible a number of guidelines that can make motherhood enjoyable and successful.

¹¹ Like a shepherd he will shepherd his own drove.+ With his arm he will collect together the lambs;+ and in his bosom he will carry [them].+ Those giving suck he will conduct [with care].+ (Isaiah 40:11)

¹⁰ They will not go hungry,+ neither will they go thirsty,+ nor will parching heat or sun strike them.+ For the One who is having pity* upon them will lead them,+ and by the springs of water he will conduct them.+ (Isaiah 49:10)

Someone to trust

Even those people who did at first did not want to know about God and His family, may trust the Creator that when they change direction and do want to leave this materialist world to foster a more spiritual world, God shall be willing to come to their help.

¹⁶ “The lost* one I shall search for,+ and the dispersed one I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen, but the fat one+ and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one* with judgment.”*+ (Ezekiel 34:16)

Loving incoming money

Today we can see lots of people who love the incoming money and who spend their time not on family matters but pure on leisure. Many grown fat, have become thick, have become gorged. Today we can see that many are defrauding the lowly ones and crushing the poor ones. The Bible warns us for those who wanted to go the path of money and material gain instead of spiritual gain. Those who forsook God, who made them and despised the Rock of their salvation shall have to face, in the near future, the sword of God.

¹⁵ When Jesh′u·run*+ began to grow fat, then he kicked.*+ You have grown fat, you have become thick, you have become gorged.+ So he forsook God,* who made him,+ And despised the Rock*+ of his salvation. (Deuteronomy 32:15)

¹⁶ Therefore the [true] Lord,* Jehovah of armies, will keep sending upon his fat ones a wasting disease,+ and under his glory a burning will keep burning away like the burning of a fire.+ (Isaiah 10:16)

²⁶ And I will make those maltreating you eat their own flesh; and as with the sweet wine they will become drunk with their own blood. And all flesh will have to know that I, Jehovah,+ am your Savior+ and your Repurchaser,+ the Powerful One of Jacob.”+ (Isaiah 49:26)

Needing care, love and ingenuity

Jehovah, the Only One God, knows that children are small, delicate and tender, and that they need the necessary care. Those who want to give that care, not for their own gain or lust, God is willing to help.

² Shepherd+ the flock of God+ in YOUR care, not under compulsion,* but willingly;*+ neither for love of dishonest gain,+ but eagerly; (1 Peter 5:2)

God’s Word says that the person who “is guarding discernment is going to find good.”

⁸ He that is acquiring heart*+ is loving his own soul. He that is guarding discernment is going to find good.+ (Proverbs 19:8)

Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discernment is needed to sort through the unending range of leisure activities, gadgets, and trends that overwhelm mothers and children. Everywhere we are confronted with commercials. Constantly we are being bombarded with new products, better technology, and more services! Economic pressures takes a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.

We as Christians can take on the right attitude so that we can cope with those challenges. As a person we do have to determine what is essential and useful to ourself and to those we love. As parents we also should help our children to do the same thing.

Making the changes that are possible

When we are going to have children we should use common sense and sound judgement.

¹⁹ Jehovah himself in wisdom founded the earth.+ He solidly fixed the heavens in discernment.+ ²⁰ By his knowledge the watery deeps* themselves were split apart,+ and the cloudy skies keep dripping down light rain.+ ²¹ My son, may they not get away from your eyes.+ Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability,+ ²² and they will prove to be life to your soul+ and charm to your throat.+ ²³ In that case you will walk in security+ on your way, and even your foot will not strike against anything.+ ²⁴ Whenever you lie down you will feel no dread;+ and you will certainly lie down, and your sleep must be pleasurable.+ ²⁵ You will not need to be afraid of any sudden dreadful thing,+ nor of the storm upon the wicked ones, because it is coming.+ ²⁶ For Jehovah himself will prove to be, in effect, your confidence,*+ and he will certainly keep your foot against capture.+ (Proverbs 3: 19-21-26)

If you are currently working outside the home, can your family live on just your husband’s income? To help answer this question, determine how much your actual take-home pay is after subtracting taxes, child care, commuting costs, wardrobe, meals out, and extras. Also, your husband’s income may be taxed at a higher rate if your combined income puts you in a higher income bracket. You may be surprised how little is left over.

Some work fewer hours or closer to home, which may mean less money but more time with the children. If you decide to stop working and if your job has been important to you for your self-worth and sense of accomplishment, think about how you can maintain these important elements while staying home.

Juggling act

Balancing work and home is not easy, but can be done. There are millions of working mothers and a few thousands of fathers who embraced the idea that ‘quality time’ with the children could partly make up for frequent absences — and who have found the idea wanting. Many mothers today say that juggling the stresses of work with the responsibilities of home leaves them overworked, overstrained, and underpaid.

Full-time mothers or full time fathers who stay at home to look after their children say that they have to endure being patronized and downgraded by a society geared to glorifying paid work. In some societies being a housewife is no longer considered an honourable position, so women are pressured to have their own career, even if the extra income is not necessary. To be a houseman is considered even more grave than a housewife by many.

Men escaping their duties

While a growing number of mothers work longer hours, fathers do not always compensate. The Sunday Times of London wrote:

“Britain is a nation of absent fathers, according to new research showing that men spend as little as 15 minutes a day with their children. . . . Many men do not take much pleasure in spending time with their families. . . . By comparison, the British professional mother will spend 90 minutes a day with her children.”

Some husbands complain that their wife finds it difficult to delegate tasks because she insists that everything be done exactly the way she is used to doing it. “Otherwise, you do it wrong,” the husbands say. Obviously, in order to benefit from the cooperation of her husband, a tired housewife may have to be willing to make some concessions as to the way certain household tasks are done. On the other hand, the husband should not use that argument as an excuse to do nothing.

Taking up fatherhood

David Blankenhorn, one of the founders of the National Fatherhood Initiative, which promotes responsible, committed fatherhood, noted that in a 1994 survey of 1,600 U.S. men, 50 percent said that their fathers were emotionally absent during their childhood. Many of today’s fathers do not want to see this pattern repeated.

Fathers who are actively involved with their children can be a wholesome influence. Referring to research published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Toronto Star said that when fathers eat meals with their children, go on outings with them, and help with homework, there are “fewer behaviour problems, higher levels of sociability and a higher level of school performance among children and adolescents.”

The foregoing highlights an arrangement for raising children that is as practical today as when first penned over three thousand years ago. The Originator of the family specifically instructed fathers to be actively involved in raising their children.

¹⁴ On account of this I bend my knees+ to the Father,+ ¹⁵ to whom every family+ in heaven and on earth owes its name,+ ¹⁶ to the end that he may grant YOU according to the riches+ of his glory to be made mighty in the man YOU are inside+ with power through his spirit,+ ¹⁷ to have the Christ dwell through [YOUR] faith in YOUR hearts with* love;+ that YOU may be rooted+ and established on the foundation,+ ¹⁸ in order that YOU may be thoroughly able to grasp mentally+ with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth,+ ¹⁹ and to know the love of the Christ+ which surpasses knowledge, that YOU may be filled with all* the fullness+ that God gives. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

⁴ And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating* YOUR children,+ but go on bringing them up+ in the discipline+ and mental-regulating*+ of Jehovah.* (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers were counselled to inculcate a love for God in the hearts of their children and to speak to them of God’s regulations and commandments. God told them to do this ‘when they sat in their house and when they walked on the road and when they lay down and when they got up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Shared responsibility

Parenting is a shared responsibility. The Bible admonishes children: “Listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) The role of the father is vital. It includes supporting and respecting the mother and sharing in child-rearing tasks. It also requires spending time reading to and talking with the children. This fills a vital emotional need of children.

Unquestionably, the Bible is the most reliable source of counsel and sound principles for a well-adjusted family. A father who actively provides for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of his family is fulfilling his God-assigned responsibility.

Find also to read:

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Letters To A Natalist World: Motherhood Is Not The Highest Paid Job In The World (childfreevoices.com)
I know you want parenting to look as appealing as possible, but come on, who do you you think you’re fooling here?If being a parent is so great, then you shouldn’t have to lie about what it is to brag about it. These cutesy-wootsey, natalism-worshipping FaceBook share-fodder pictures with ridiculous captions have got to stop.
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Rebecca Meyer wrote:
It’s funny that people try to say we have kids so that we have something that will “love us unconditionally.” It’s not even accurate. Psychologically, children love Conditionally because they depend on the parent for food, water, shelter, and any other basic survival needs. Infants do not love a parent unconditionally (meaning even if the basic survival needs weren’t met). Unconditional love actually to me comes from relationships mostly not within the family because you don’t feel obligated to love the person like you feel when family members are concerned.
Motherhood!….Part 5 {Whither Womanhood} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
At every turn, motherhood praises are deafening! In songs, poetry and prose, motherhood is cast in gold and eulogized in every culture, race and creed! Little wonder the whole earth is referred to as “Mother Earth”!
As things stand, motherhood seems to be rated above womanhood or regarded as the defining factor and crown of womanhood!
In not-so-liberal cultures, barrenness or, not bearing the ‘right gender’ of children is considered the fault of the woman and enough grounds for dissolving a marriage or desecrating it with impunity!
Many acclaimed preachers and religious teachers tell us that we are here to multiply, increase and fill the earth and where a middle-aged woman is not part of this multiplication equation, she is not fulfilling a Divine ordinance.
Motherhood!…….Part 4 {Children, Honor Fathers and Mothers} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
Generally, mothers are accorded a great deal of love and respect, even above fathers! Maybe because they are one of the first voices and faces the child recognizes; the first teachers; the caring hands that rock the cradle and, as a reward, the hand that rocks the cradle gets the larger dose of love!
Conventionally, daddy provides the comfort and balm but, it is mommy who solicitously applies them and gets noticed more! Cherishing dear mommy is usually the nurturing ground for love and other virtues!
In religion, parent-honor is almost a form of worship! Virtually every religion carves a special top-notch niche for fathers and mothers. The Christian Scriptures encapsulates it all with the Commandment “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”!
However, the wrong interpretation of this Commandment has inadvertently worked untold hardship on many a child who struggles to obey it! How is a child to honor a father who has degenerated to a drunkard and drug addict; or a mother who through hot temper, loose tongue and lack of self-discipline torments the household?
How can a child honor and revere parents who roundly abuse themselves and are frequently embroiled in violent quarrels?
Unless the child is also contaminated, he/she can only pay lip-service and empty habitual respect to such parents. The impetus for pure love and heart-felt honor which streams from the soul is lacking! The child simply tags along in make-believe obedience!
God is Jehovah Shammah-God is There! (crosbyp12003.wordpress.com)
Gods wants us to trust him with everything; hear that Everything. Sometimes we can get ahead of a God and think we have the answers. As new covenant believers God lives on the inside of us through the Holy Spirit. God is always with us. He does not turn his back on us to fend for ourselves . God wants to heal msny of us from a false view that he is a God ready to beat you down.
Motherhood (girlinterrupted28.wordpress.com)
What makes a mother?This is a question I find myself asking much too often, practically on a daily basis. Mostly because I wonder if I qualify. If I am a mother. When people ask how many children I have, when I have to fill out a form, when I watch friends struggling with their children or to create children at all…I ask myself. Because I want to be a mother. Because I was a mother.
Is there a “shortage” of single fathers? (dalrock.wordpress.com)
Captain Capitalism found an article on eHarmony titled 15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom. The fifteen reasons boil down to various ways of stating that single moms are easy, they will mother you, and you get to have fun with kids.
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there can be good reasons why a woman might find herself without the father of her children in the household, but the fact that he’s not around isn’t proof of her loyalty; statistically speaking it is more likely than not an indication that she ejected the father from the home. Aside from widows, it is at the very least a red flag which needs to be thoroughly vetted.
Motherhood In The Workplace: I Was Asked to Tone-Down the ‘Mommy Thing’ (tinystepsmommy.com)
I decided to return to work after being home with AD for 20 months. My oldest AL was 8-years-old and my daughter B was only four-months-old. I was still nursing, yet I accepted a job in the corporate office of a franchise company to manage their communications. I wanted to give my “career” a chance. Looking back, I realize I was overwhelmed at home and suffering from a major case of the grass is always greener.
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After our departmental meeting, my new boss pulled me aside and “suggested” that I don’t lead with the “mommy thing.” I was stunned and insulted and embarrassed. I figured she knew what she was talking about. I hadn’t worked in the private sector before. My experience was with not-for-profit organizations, trade associations, or at a newspaper. Again, I ignored my instincts.
Optional Parenthood (ordinarybutloud.wordpress.com)
One of my mother friends finds it strange that out of my handful of closest friends in the world (and she is included on the list) two of them are childless. She thinks it’s strange because a) I’m so devoted to my own parenting; b) my life is seemingly arranged to facilitate parenthood; c) most of the friendships she’s made or maintained have come through her kids and the parents of her kids’ friends. It bears mentioning that this friend is someone I met years and years ago, before either of us had children. It’s not as if we became friends because we are both parents. We were already friends and then we became parents.
The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (childledchaos.me.uk)
My mum first became a mother in the early 1960s. She was 20 when she got married, and a month over 21 when my eldest brother arrived. By her 24th birthday she had three sons, all under three.
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Modern motherhood (and modern parenthood) is so far removed from five decades ago, it really is like comparing chalk and cheese. I can’t imagine how women (and it was almost exclusively women) in the 1960s juggled childcare and housework, let alone adding paid work into the mix.I was a decade older than my mother had been when I had my first child, and had a degree and a career (of sorts) behind me. I was made redundant when I was three months pregnant with our first child, and I applied for work after she was born. I therefore became the default primary carer.

I ‘returned to work’ when my baby was five months old and, as I didn’t breastfeed, this was easy. I had three days a week paid work, leaving four days to concentrate on motherhood, and pretended that it was just perfect that I had the benefits of both work and home. How jolly!

How untrue! Working part-time (or full-time) and being a full-time parent (because if you’re a parent, you are a full-time parent, especially when you’re the primary carer) doesn’t give you the benefits of both; it gives you the downsides of both. Multiplied.
Motherhood= Amazing (arichter0723.wordpress.com)
Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mommy. I had many baby dolls and would take care of them as if they were my own. I would pay attention to my mother and what she did for me, so I could be a better mommy to my “babies.” I would read to them, take them on car trips, and put them to bed right next to me. My babies were my everything.

Gender roles and Multitasking parents

Posted on 2013/10/29 by Marcus Ampe

Women and/or men who choose to remain at home to look after their children face a torrent of prejudice.

Motherism or fatherism

Dr Aric Sigman, at a conference convened by Mothers At Home Matter warned of the rise of “motherism”; a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, but for the same matter he could also have spoken about the stay-at-home fathers.
The “motherism” he is talking about could as well be called “fatherism” which is as dangerous for the men as the “motherism” is for the women. Both puts women and men off being stay-at-home parents, which is the developmental ideal in the present society.

There is not only a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, also fathers who decide to spend some time off work to have more time with the kids are scammed.

Zoe Williams of the Guardian writes:

There is a presentation of women who look after their own children full time as air-headed, spoilt and dowdy. However, there is also a prejudice against women who look after their children but aren’t dowdy (yummy mummies); women who go back to work after having had children; women who stay out of work but also employ nannies; women who work part-time and look after their children the rest of the time.

Wanting to stay home

How many mom’s would like to be stay at home Mom’s and how many Dad would like the be stay at home Dad, wonders Colleen Fassler of Mom Wife Family Health Life.

In Belgium that answer would be clear: No body would dare to say they would like to stay at home to take care of the kids. The few who say that they would prefer to stay at home are looked at and considered to be the weaker elements of this society.

Our youngsters will have to work already until 67 before they can retire, but will only receive retirement allotment for the days they really worked to earn money, over their full career. The kids brought up in a one child family did not learn to share and do not want to share much with others. Many of them do not even find a reason why to marry when it is easier and with no strings, just to enjoy sex without any commitments.

The after babyboom generation with other aims

From the previous articles you can make up that today moms are different from those of the baby boom generation. They are not only more likely to have gone to university, they also want to realize their assets. To convert their knowledge into cash they are more likely to work full-time, less likely to have more than two children, and less likely to be married than previous generations.

In the United States, Pew Social Trends revealed that, from 2008 to 2011, the number of new mothers (women between the ages of 15 and 44 who have given birth in the past 12 months) with less than a high school diploma declined 17%, and the number with only a high school diploma went down 15%. By contrast, the number of new mothers with some college education fell by 6%, and the number with a bachelor’s degree or more fell by just 1%.

Marital status depending upon educational attainment

Although less educated women are a shrinking share of all new mothers, less educated women still have a higher average number of births throughout their lifetime than more educated women. By the end of their childbearing years, women without a high school diploma have on average 2.5 children, and women with a bachelor’s degree have about 1.7. This gap has closed only slightly over the past 25 years.

There are significant differences in the marital status of new mothers depending upon their educational attainment. While about six-in-ten (61% in 2011) women with less than a high school diploma are unmarried when they give birth, this share declines to only 9% among women with at least a bachelor’s degree. {Record Share of New Mothers are College Educated}

Experts have identified a strong linkage between child well-being and maternal education levels. On average, a mother with more education is more likely to deliver a baby at term and more likely to have a baby with a healthy birth weight. As they grow up, children with more educated mothers tend to have better cognitive skills and higher academic achievement than others. It is difficult to determine whether maternal education is causing some of these outcomes, or if it is serving as a proxy for some other causal factor (for example, economic well-being). What is irrefutable, though, is that on average the more education a woman has, the better off her children will be.

Working as hard as ever, but not at home

Moms are working as hard as ever — but they’re spending more time in offices than at home; as a result, moms and dads are more similar now than ever. For most of the 20th century (and before), parents specialized. Dad worked for money. Mom worked at home. But as female education increased — and mid-century technology made housework less time-intensive — moms and dads became less specialized. More moms worked more for money. More dads worked more at home.

At the moment we still may find many families where mothers are much more likely to do the “dirty work” of child care while fathers are more likely to spend a greater share of their time playing with kids or doing home maintenance, like mowing the lawn. But it’s a closing gap, whereby we have developed to a society where the household jobs are considered the ‘dirty jobs’ or jobs to be done by the uneducated and not useful persons. Being a mother or a father, staying at home is by many considered as profiting of the society and not done.

Social media fakes

Illustration of Facebook mobile interface (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today it is just not done to become a parent or not to be able to show off with all the material wealth we can get today. Instead of spending time to create a real family people prefer to have a virtual circle of friends on Facebook. On Facebook a nice world is presented where the lives are consistently full of happy and wholesome family outings, when there are kids in the house, but mostly it are kidless photo-shoots of far away places with ever changing girlfriends or men.

Allison Hart, who says she loves her children, and who has also learned that motherhood is a series of shocks and disappointments, disgusting things under her fingernails, horrifying smells and constant irritation, writes:

In between those smiling moments are thousands of other moments which go undocumented on Facebook.

We all want to share our best moments. We all want that person we knew 22 years ago and haven’t seen since to think that we are living the life. We aren’t bored. We haven’t watched 13 hours of TV today. Our kids are as charming as they are cute so I’m never, ever jealous of your child-free globe-trotting life. The world can wait! Right now I’m doing the most important and fulfilling job a person can. Oh, and that one picture of me that I’ve posted within the last three years? That old thing? Gosh, I think the kids must have snapped that one while I was composting our garden. Yes I do that in silk and heels. Duh.

Preferring not to tell

Many mothers and fathers dare not to to say the things that most mothers and fathers have thought, but few have had the courage to admit. Telling others to chose for motherhood or fatherhood is like throwing oneself in front of the lions or facing the jaws.

The ones still daring to become a mother would like to become hyperefficient, which makes them only to fail in their made up world. They suddenly want to do everything at once. Some may learn to delegate, prioritize, negotiate and, when necessary, take the wrong choice to give up seeing friends, hoping to get themselves more time with their partner — hardest of all — sleep.

In one survey Katrina Alcorn posted for working parents, 88% of the nearly 500 respondents said they had suffered stress-related health problems (like anxiety and depression) since having kids and going back to work. One woman told her that at the peak of her working-mom stress, she started having seizures at night.

Most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels

Alcorn writes:

Studies like “The Three Faces of Work-Family Conflict” explain that America may be the most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels. Low-wage workers contend with rigid schedules, no paid time off and a lack of affordable child care, while professionals are often expected to work grueling hours and travel for business. Although we experience the problem in different ways, the result is the same: chronic stress.

To be sure, this is not only a women’s problem. As men become more involved at home, studies show that they too are struggling with work-family conflict. And often they work longer hours than women do. But mothers still do more housework and child care, even when both parents work. Mothers multitask more than fathers and enjoy less leisure time than fathers. And mothers experience more guilt about working full time than fathers do.

It makes sense, then, that women are more at risk for the health effects of stress. We are 60% more likely to suffer an anxiety disorder and 70% more likely to suffer from depression than men. Women may be four times as likely as men to suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome. Women are also more likely to suffer from eating disorders, sleep problems and substance abuse as a result of workplace stress.

Showbizz kids

Natalie Portman encounters the Berlinale audience and media (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jerusalem-born 32 years old Natalie Portman revealed that she loves being a mother and has learned to be less judgmental in the years following the birth of her son Aleph, two. She had to accept that parenting is an individual endeavour with no real rules of engagement.

‘I love being a mum,’ Portman said. ‘I’m less judgmental than before I had a kid. The biggest thing about parenting is that it is a totally different experience for every person.

‘Everything is cool, there are no rules – I mean, apart from not hurting your kid. Some people breastfeed until their babies are five, and some don’t breastfeed at all.

Showbizz people do not mind letting the world know they want some time to spend with their children. From those actors and actress it is accepted they may take sometime for their children. People are willing to give them some basic support to meet their competing obligations. But for ordinary folks the competitive world have created an impossible situation.

Young having to take care of the older ones

Our society if it is going to have enough young people to work for the payment of elderly their retirement and the non-active population, shall have to review her stance against married couples, parents and parenting.

We do not claim that it is better that women don’t work. They do have to play their role as well as the men and should be able to share the same duties. that means that men also should become equal to the women, and should also have to do tasks people considered a few years ago only for women, now also to be done by men.

Equality of gender a coin with three sides

The equality of gender should go both ways. the population has to give everybody the right to make their own choice about work and leisure? Everybody should be allowed to choose how much time to spend at a job and what to do in the unpaid sector, be it voluntary work or household work.

Katrina Alcorn says:

we can’t keep going at this pace. We need more fathers to share the work of raising a family (which means, for many men, working less).

We need employers to offer options like telecommuting, flexible scheduling and better part-time jobs to protect all workers from burning out.

We need better government policies: things like paid sick leave and paid parental leave, something every developed country in the world except the U.S. offers its citizens.

The bottom line is this: we have to stop making mothers choose between financial stability and their own health.

Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Preceding articles:

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

Having children interferes with work

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now

Gender Roles, What?

Please do also find to read:

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College Education – Talking It Out With Your Folks (degreesinusa.wordpress.com)
the rising costs of getting college education can be daunting for some parents to bear. If your parents were not able to save for the day you have to go to college then it will be all bad news. That is why before you set your sights on getting post-secondary education, it is best to consult your parents about your decision. Here are some great tips that you can use in order to convince your parents that getting a college education can immensely make your life better.
No more apologies (inadifferentvoice.co.uk)
Instead of being able to identify with any positive model of what I’m currently doing with my life, I frequently feel obliged to delineate all of the things I am Not. Granted, in small stages, and in comparison to the enormous inequalities of the world, these niggles are a drop in the ocean. I move on with my colossal buggy to face the tuts of another innocent childless pedestrian. It is only when I stop and consider the bigger picture, or talk to other parents, that I find that it is the experience itself which is mind-numbingly pedestrian. To be a SAHM mum is to be a disparaged vacuum.
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I find perspective in unexpected places; conversations with older women for example who have highlighted that in their day it was the working mums who faced approbrium (thanks Norma), or from men who want to be more involved but feel childcare is still left in a box reserved for women.
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Feminists are fairly agreed in their critique of the 1950’s housewife model (despite that many women couldn’t afford not to work anyway), yet it seems to have swept over the fact that despite six decades of development, much of the actual work of the SAHM remains unchanged. I cook, bake, organise activities, tend to children, shop and clean (for visitors, sometimes). I do many housewifey things. But when I look to feminism for positive reinforcement of that, I often feel there’s just a dark swirl of snarky remarks, lack of understanding, and an image of Audrey Hepburn in a flowery frock, shrugging vacantly.
The rise of ‘Motherism’ – prejudice against stay-at-home mums (telegraph.co.uk)

Dr Sigman, a fellow of the Society of Biology and associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, has argued in the past that evidence about the long-term effects of sending very young children to full-time day care is being ignored because of a political and economic agenda.

Addressing a conference organised by the Mothers At Home Matter group, he said that evidence from biosciences showed that mothers provided “unrivalled benefits” to young children that other people, including fathers, cannot.
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Many working families see “full time” parenting as a luxury enjoyed only by those wealthy enough to live on one wage or those on benefits.

Dr Sigman, who has four children, said that the derogatory attitudes towards stay-at-home mothers appeared to be the result of a mix of political and economic agendas.

“I suppose the older feminism, liberal-Left feminism, has ended up a strange bedfellow with Right-wing capitalism.”
Comment: In pursuit of gender equality and work-life balance (sbs.com.au)
Sociologists have spent decades looking at work-family conflict and the stress associated with combining work and family roles. The bulk of the research identifies which individuals report the most work-family conflict. Not surprisingly, they find that women, professionals, people who work longer hours and people with greater workplace flexibility are more likely to say family conflicts with work.This research, of course, validates many of our experiences. Yes, there is gender inequality. Yes, people in professional positions struggle with balancing work and family roles. Yes, your boss can hear your toddler harassing the kitty while you are on the phone. And, yes, these are real problems that deserve real solutions.
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in the most gender-equal societies, such as Sweden, Norway and Finland, this pattern changes. Fathers in these countries are the most likely to report family interferes with their work life than are mothers or individuals without children.So what gives? Why are Swedish dads having such a hard time? We suspect that Swedish men may not be able to opt-out of childcare responsibilities while at work like men in lower gender-equality countries because they have an institutional structure that encourages gender equality.
“Superwoman: Can Today’s Women Have It All?” (katelynbudroe.wordpress.com)
The history of women working outside the home began when women entered the workforce during WWII. Men went to war and vacated jobs which required a labor force. In a world where the average housewife did not work outside the home a marketing campaign ensued. The U.S. government lured women with the iconic symbol of “Rosie the Riveter” with the underlying message that it was their patriotic duty to work. After the war when men returned to their jobs there was a new social shift in America and a new generation of women. America had to contend with a new playing field as women’s outlooks and attitudes toward work were born.
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In real life there are far too few women among the highest ranks of the professions, and millions of everyday women struggle to make ends meet and to juggle work and family.
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The increase of women working outside the home has caused an increase in divorce rates. During the recession when many men lost their jobs, women were able to find work quicker than men. This is usually attributed because men could not find jobs that paid them the same salaries as they had before they lost their jobs and women were filling jobs at lower wages. The realization by women that she can be a good provider may be an indication that a working wife will choose divorce over and unsatisfactory marriage. But the reverse is equally probable. Financial problems cause tension and often play a key role in ending a marriage. The lack of two incomes forces men to stay home and sometimes causes a rift in a marriage as the gender roles are reversed and men feel less competent and is no longer the provider. For married women it is difficult to maintain a happy marriage as she becomes the primary breadwinner and more independent.
Why “Working Mother” Is A Redundant Term, Part 2 (sarahsiders.com)
When one of my best friends, someone who vigilantly linked arms with me in our efforts to empower women, decided to leave the workforce and stay home, we both had some philosophical wrestling to do.
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Being a stay-at-home parent sounded impossible. In fact, my day job felt like an escape. I got to run off into my area of competency all day, got to look knowledgeable and pretend to be “the expert”, with opportunities for acknowledgement for all my contributions.
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So back to the “working mother” business. This term has got to go. It not so subtly implies that stay-at-home moms like my friend aren’t working, that they are just sitting there catching up on 30 Rock episodes while their Roomba vacuums and a nanny totes the children about to various activities. Hardly.
Why Gender Equality Is Not Just About Equal Rights (theage.com.au)
According to a newly released report from the World Economic Forum [pdf], Iceland is the No. 1 country in the world for gender equality, for the fifth year in a row. And that equality is helping propel Iceland and its fellow Nordic nations to new economic heights. Turns out, the smaller the gender gap, the more economically competitive the nation. Even when that nation is totally freezing.
Motherless Mom. (tdawneightyone.wordpress.com)
For me, there are no words available that will allow me to convey what it is like to be a motherless daughter. It means something different at every stage in my life. Hope Edelman wrote in her book “Motherless Daughters” about wanting to shout to everyone that her mom died because it sums up so much of who she is and I get that. The only thing that has impacted me greater than losing my mom at the age of 15 has been becoming a mom myself.
Breastfeeding support for mom (utsandiego.com)
Breastfeeding. Women have been doing it since the beginning of human history, though the practice has gone in and out of vogue many times since then. For some women, it’s harder now than ever to take on the task.

“There is definitely a very clear understanding in our society … that breastfeeding is absolutely best for babies and mothers,” said Diana West, media relations director for La Leche League International, a mother-to-mother breastfeeding support organization that formed in the 1950s.“The problem is mothers understand that intellectually but then the baby is born and they have difficulty.”
Lessons in Feminism, From my Father. (thisclimbingbean.wordpress.com)
It was the mid-80s. We were Anglican Church-goers, and the idea of women in the priesthood was not new, but it was by no means widely accepted, especially not in our small West Australian diocese. My father was a deacon by then, having assisted as a lay person during services for some time. But even though women did help in the service occasionally, and were involved in other areas of the church family, they were not in leading roles.Yet my father didn’t go into any of this. He simply told me that if I wanted to be a priest, then I could. By the time I was grown up, he suggested, there might be lots of women who were priests.
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once he had showed me that the world could certainly use more strong women, and that I could be one of them, he would turn this around on me. I’d bring home a report, I’d do well in a competition, and he would shrug, then say, eyes twinkling, ‘Yeah, it’s alright I guess. For A Girl.‘Because he could throw that line at me now, knowing that I got the joke. It’s not that others had moved beyond that attitude, that prejudice. It still existed. It still does. But it was his way of pushing me, and of praising me without having to say the words.

Having children interferes with work

Posted on 2013/10/28 by Marcus Ampe

Today there is a negative attitude towards having children and taking care of children.

Family Portrait (Photo credit: Gideon Tsang)

It’s true that having children interferes with work. Lots of people do find it hurts their career in the short and long term. some do find it normal that those who get kids should be penalised in their professional career and in the later years of retirement. For them it is very logical that those who stayed at home can not receive retirement allowance for those years they were not productive for the economical world.

As it should, in a fair world. What else can you expect to happen when you take time away from actually doing work? But even if there would be no impact on my career, I still would not want children.

writes Childfree Voice.

Breadwinner

“breadwinner moms” are made up of two very different groups: 5.1 million (37%) are married mothers who have a higher income than their husbands, and 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers.

A recent study by Pew Research in the States, details the trend: In 15 percent of all households of married adults with children under the age of 18, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinner. That’s up from 4 percent back in 1960, and accounts for 5.1 million married mothers who have higher incomes than their husbands.

Stay-at-home dads face many of the economic challenges and concerns as stay-at-home moms — how transitioning from two salaries to one will impact their family, if the time at home might hinder a return to the job force, and whether new roles will cause resentment. But stay-at-home dads often face cultural stigmas about what it means to be a man in America, and what price tag that role should carry.

Paychecks

More women than ever are CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies and in every day households more women are bringing home bigger paychecks than their husbands.
The median total family income of married mothers who earn more than their husbands was nearly $80,000 in 2011, well above the national median of $57,100 for all families with children, and nearly four times the $23,000 median for families led by a single mother.
The income gap between the two groups remains when using personal income as the measure. The median personal income of married mothers who out-earn their husbands was $50,000 in 2011, compared with $20,000 for single moms. Both personal and family income was self-reported. There is a small difference between the median personal income of single mothers and their family income. It could be due to financial contributions of other adult family members such as a cohabiting partner or a parent.

Since 2007 (before the recession officially began) mothers’ views about whether and how much they would like to work had changed significantly. The share of mothers saying their ideal situation would be to work full time increased from 20% in 2007 to 32% in 2012. And the share saying they would prefer not to work at all fell from 29% to 20%.

Gains of women and motherhood

Rally for single parents and their children (Photo credit: Greens MP Jamie Parker, Member for Balmain)

A new Pew Research Center survey finds that the public remains of two minds about the gains mothers have made in the workplace–most recognize the clear economic benefits to families, but many voice concerns about the toll that having a working mother may take on children or even marriage.
About three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed. At the same time, two-thirds say it has made it easier for families to live comfortably.

In Belgium this can be clearly seen at the amount of divorces which soar the pan. It’s really far out and most children are just dropped at childcare early in the morning to be fetched late at night to be put in bed. the aim to live comfortably having enough luxury to show off to others has become more important than family life.

Primary child attendant

Making the shift from primary breadwinner to a primary caregiver can be so dramatic, especially if that change comes after a job loss, that it got so much negative press to give them who would consider to stay home a nasty shock. Lots of people are put off by the idea to take a part time job and staying some time at home to take care for the kids.

Many youngsters also find it not done that somebody stays at home not being productive in the world economy, and those who would perhaps originally would love to have a family with kids can not afford children and take all efforts not to be with child.

A house or a child

Facing the cost of children many consider it better to by a house instead spening all that money on a child.

And yes, it costs over $200,000 to raise a child to 18. That’s a lot of money to throw away. You could buy a decent house for that price. But even if everything a child would need is was free, even if I was actually paid for having a child, I still would not want children.

writes Childfree Voice to the Natalist World.

Bettering oneself through education

According to them having children interferes with bettering oneself through education. Many think when they have to spend time at bringing up children they themselves would not have enough time for themselves. Having children, according to them also takes away the focus from more important work. There are great opportunities for growth and learning even in our sometimes boring 9-5 desk jobs, so why should people use the other time for taking care of the household? After work should there not be fun?
Leisure has become a very important business in our welfare industry.

Well, parents should see that it should already be fun that they are taking the time to invest in them-self and learning more about their world and that they could get other people involved in what they do with their children. There are not only the out-of school events, sports and games the children can enjoy. Also watching documentaries with the partner and kids or work on puzzles with the children, playing trivial pursuit with the family, or discuss new and fresh topics with them and with the friends of yourself, your partner and new friends the children let you know.
Claiming that children will limit your world is not seeing that they will do the opposite, getting you to know more people outside your daily job.

Studying together

English: The Green Children in Bangladesh

The Green Children in Bangladesh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When you would like to study something new, your kids do not have to be a stand in the way. Things aren’t just going to be different for you – your kids will also feel the effect of you taking on a new project. However, they may be so proud of your attempt to forward your career that they may surprise you and help out around the house to give you extra time to focus. One way to include them in your endeavours is to set up study groups for all of you to sit down and do your homework together. Why not? This shall inspire you both and it will be much more fun for them than the ordinary school work they have to do obligatory.

In the old days, ‘bettering yourself’ was usually related to improving your social status, often through education and certainly by getting a better job. These days, you can take a wider perspective. Life is much more than earning money. We do not have to measure everything in the form of investment for receiving financial gain.

Pets or children

Flexcin International, Inc., a company that makes natural supplements for humans and pets, found that according to its recent survey, more Americans are electing to house dogs over kids.

The company polled 1,250 pet owners nationwide (ages 21 to 30) about their attitudes on child rearing and pet adoption.

When asked what’s a better fit for them, more than half (54 percent) of respondents said dogs; 46 percent said children.

When asked why they prefer dogs, 34 percent of respondents said they’re not sure if they can handle the needs of raising a child; 28 percent said they don’t have the time to raise a child; 21 percent said kids are more expensive than dogs; and 17 percent said they “just love” dogs more than kids.

If it was polling people with pets, specifically the kind likely to care enough to give their kids supplements, I would think they’d be more likely to get a pet-friendly answer by such people than they would the general public.

I’m childfree and have one dog, but I did Not choose pets over kids any more than I choose driving a sports car over being slapped in the face. That is, the two things have little to nothing to do with each other. Sure, I prefer one over the other, but that doesn’t mean that I chose one over the other.

Many people who do have kids also have pets. It’s not like people can only have one or the other. On the other hand, even if, for some reason, I had decided to never have pets, I still wouldn’t want kids. It’s not like I’m required to have either.

Unpleasant burden

The writer let us hear a voice we can hear at many places. She like many youngsters today do not care much for children. Pets or no, children would be nothing but an unpleasant burden to them. they prefer to enjoy undisturbed sex with their partner, without having any commitments to this partner or for any off-springs of their sexual action.

They shudder to think of how much they would miss out on in life if ever they became a mother or father. Kids would be a stumble bloc at their leg, limiting their freedom where to go and what to do. Parenthood is totally undesirable to them. It has even come so far that many think “kids would ruin their life”.

The reality is that parenthood is not a fairy-tale filled with Kodak moments. It’s nasty business. There are gross bodily functions, dangers, bitter fights, sleepless nights, tantrums, and regrets. It’s not always pretty. But even if the life of parenthood really was all sunshine, rainbows, kisses, hugs, “I love your”s, and macaroni art, I still would not want children.

confirms ‘childfree’.

Overcrowding

To her horror,

the world population is over 7 billion. That’s far too many humans for one small planet with dwindling resources and a climate on the brink of disaster. It’s dangerous. But even if the world were not overpopulated, even if it was somehow underpopulated, I still would not want children.

At an early age youngsters do want to enjoy sex and more than once we find kids who are with child and have to stop further education. Taking time away from school has a high price. This lack of further education may also bring more difficulties to higher a person in a good paid job. Resulting in receiving less income than somebody who studied longer, the children often came in the same street as their parents and because of the family struggles also start misbehaving, sometimes criminally so.

Benefits

But having stopped studies early in adulthood should not be a reason not to progress and to continue taking up knowledge and wisdom.

Having children in such an instance should also not be a burden, but could be used as a blessing. When giving up some time to spend with the kids they also can provide new knowledge and reasons enough to study further on your own.

The final stage is to build a series of stepping stones towards your self-betterment. List all the activities that you do now and assess how you spend your time. Then ask yourself which ones contribute to your aim and how. Get not blindfolded by others or get blind by the financial gain you may receive by not being present for your children but at work for an employer.

The work you have to do at home, is not be paid for in money, but it shall be more profitable to you than man think. You yourself have to make the choice, either to be there for your children or to be there for yourself or a company.

Obligation

A new Pew Research Center survey finds that the public remains of two minds about the gains mothers have made in the workplace–most recognize the clear economic benefits to families, but many voice concerns about the toll that having a working mother may take on children or even marriage. About three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed. At the same time, two-thirds say it has made it easier for families to live comfortably.

As parents it is the obligation to take care for those who came after sexual enjoyment. There are enough preservative measures if people do not want children, but once they are there they shall have to consider them and have the sense of duty.

Both parents shall have to find answers how to manage properly the household. they shall have to choose who is going to play which role, or how they can divide the household tasks. They shall need to change how they use their time.

Banker-turned-financial-advisor Denise Winston of Money Start Here says that when either parent decides to stay home, it’s important to run the numbers on both sides of the equation. Not only is this important for budgeting, but it helps emphasize how the stay-at-home parent is contributing financially to the household, even when they’re no longer bringing in a traditional salary.

“Ask, how much is child care? That could easily be $2,000 a month. Did you have a housekeeper, commute, laundry service? If one parent is now providing those services, that’s a tremendous savings,” she says.

Winston warns that a parent exiting the workforce might need a crash course in domestic finances.

“When you think about how much money flows through that person’s hands — groceries, back to school, prescriptions — if they’re not into getting a good deal, this could potentially cost the household a ton of money. You have to look at it like a sport, or a business.”

Having children may interfere with many plans, and could require another budget use, but parents should be aware it is not the money which shall make them as happy as the blessings and pleasure those children can bring.

This is a reaction on: Letters To A Natalist World: I Don’t Want Children Because I Don’t Want Children

Find also:

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Women rising up as breadwinners of today’s modern family (theage.com.au)
More Australian women are bringing home the lion’s share of the household income with females nominated as the breadwinner in one in four Australian households.More than half a million Australian households now have a female as the major wage earner – 140,000 more households than a decade ago.Female-breadwinner households are more likely to be couple-only households and households on lower incomes, according to the National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling published Wednesday report.
The Stay at Home Mom Hobby Guide (coupons.answers.com)
For much of the day, stay-at-home moms are busy caring for their children as well as the household. Running errands, cleaning, driving kids to school, and washing loads of laundry are just a few of the tasks of a stay-at-home mom. A hobby can be a great way for a stay-at-home mom to take a little time to explore her own talents. She may love to write, paint pictures, or take photographs. These creative hobbies can help her to relax. A hobby can also contribute to maintaining the family budget. For instance, couponing is a hobby that many moms are interested in. A mom finds coupons and then figures out how to use them to her best advantage. In short, the hobbies of a stay-at-home mom can benefit a family’s finances. The following outlines a selection of hobbies that stay-at-homes may want to look into.
Stay At Home Mom… (1luckygal.com)
I guess at this moment I am moving out of the realm of stay at home motherhood and into the work at home motherhood realm, for a minute I was a working single mom and then I was a working mom and before that I was a stay at home mom. So basically I have done the loop. I know that no matter what your motherhood status is, that we are all mothers. We are all trying very hard to raise a child who will go on to participate in society in an appropriate and independent way.
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Just like there is no reason you should be less or more respected if your doing less of the very hard work of mothering and more of the very hard work of having a career. We should just respect each other because it takes a village and a village missing things like stay at home moms, stay at home dads, two income families, old people keeping track of the neighborhood from their window becomes less of a village then our children deserve.
Thought You Noticed More Stay-at-Home Dads? You’re Right! Here’s Why (thebump.com)
A new study published in the Journal of Family Issues noted that more than half-million dads are staying home with the kids as stay-at-home fathers. The research, conducted by sociologist Karen Z. Kramer of the University of Illinois, noted that when compared to moms staying home with the kids, stay-at-home dads who were not stay at home by choice tended to be older and less educated than moms. Most were also disabled, ill or unemployed. But among men who chose to be a stay-at-home dad, most tended to be higher-income with wives with greater earning potential and had more children under 5.
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While traditional family roles are changing, so too is the make-up of the typical family.Families with two natural parents and two children make up 28 per cent of all families with kids.Couple families with one child are the second most common at 23 per cent, followed by single parents with one child at 15 per cent.

However, one of the largest increases has been in the number of blended and stepfamilies – doubling in recent decades, to make up almost 11 per cent of Australian families with dependent children, compared with 6.8 per cent in 1986.
Study: ‘House Husbands’ More Common Than Ever (nation.time.com)
More dads are staying at home with the kids, according to a new study in the Journal of Family Issues.The study used data from the Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey to compare characteristics of families in which at least one spouse had a full-time job. Researchers found that between 1976 and 2009, the percentage of households with stay-at-home dads increased steadily.Over the last decade, the percentage of house dads increased to 3.5%, or 550,000 dads. In the ’70s, only 280,000 men were staying at home, representing only 2% of the families analyzed.
The Working Mom… an Oxymoron? (milnechelsea.wordpress.com)
There’s such a thing called “mother’s guilt.” It starts once she first gives birth and realizes she has some options regarding whether or not she should work. Interestingly, regardless of her decision, over half of mothers documented by the Working Mother Research Institute in both categories feel guilty.In fact, 51 percent of working mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children. 55 percent of stay-at-home mothers feel guilty for not contributing to family income. WMRI
Number of the Week: Rise of Single Moms Drives Down Overall Income (blogs.wsj.com)
New data this week showed once again that it’s been a rough couple decades for the American middle class. Median household income barely budged in 2012, and is actually lower, after adjusting for inflation, than it was in 1989. “This isn’t a lost decade for economic gains for Americans,” the Washington Post’s Neil Irwin wrote on Tuesday. “It is a lost generation.”
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The median income for all families with children under 18 was just under $60,000 last year, up about 3% since 1990 after adjusting for inflation. But what might once have been considered the “typical” American family — a married couple, living together, with at least one child under 18 — has done quite a bit better: Their median income was $81,455, up nearly 16% from 1990.The trouble is, such families have become significantly less common over time. In 1980, married couples made up 80% of all families with children. A decade later, that figure had fallen below 75%. Today, it’s less than two-thirds. The number of families headed by single moms — any mother with no spouse present, regardless of whether she has a live-in partner — has increased more than 30% since 1990, to more than 10 million.
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In terms of income growth, single moms aren’t actually doing much worse than their married counterparts — their median income is up 14% since 1990, nearly as much as for married parents. But they earn far less in absolute terms. The median income for a family headed by a single mother was $25,493 in 2012, which means roughly 5 million single mothers earn less than $25,000 a year.
Recognizing the “SAHD” (timesunion.com)
A few male twitter users recently blasted me for neglecting to include stay-at-home dads in various online discussions. I honestly hadn’t given a serious thought to the fact that there are plenty of fathers filling the shoes stay-at-home-moms traditionally stand in. I shamefully admit that I was oblivious to men who are staying home to care for their children. While the definition the US Census Bureau has been using to base their family and living arrangement statistics on produces small numbers, the reality is much more impressive: nearly 1.5 million men are SAHDs (Stay-at-home-dads) today, and this number continues to climb as women are assuming more demanding / valuable roles in the workplace.
Building a more father-friendly Calgary (metronews.ca)
How father-friendly is our city? That’s an important question, and not just for local fathers and families. The answer has implications for women, the economy, and the overall strength of our communities.
Pew research reveals more women becoming ‘breadwinners’ (nbc-2.com)
More women are bringing home the bacon, while their husbands take care of the chores at home.
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According to the Pew Research Center, mothers are the sole or primary provider in four out of ten U.S. households with children.These ‘breadwinner moms’ are broken into two groups: 37 percent are married mothers while 63 percent are single mothers.

It Takes a Village

Posted on 2013/10/28 by Marcus Ampe

Parenting, the art and skill of raising a child to adulthood, brings its demands and its rewards. It requires patience, insight and wisdom. It also demands that we dare to take decisions the world does not like so much. At the end of the trail we would like to see an other generation taking care of the future generations and taking care of the environment previous generations left behind.
Parenting should be preparing the future generations to be strong and willing to continue the road to a better world, where others might live in unison, healthy, with a strong sense of self and the ability to connect with others in a way which is meaningful for them.

Haul Water, Chop Wood

Parenting, as I see it, is the art and skill of raising a child to adulthood, in which they arrive well-adjusted, healthy, with a strong sense of self and the ability to connect with others in a way which is meaningful for them. Perhaps this is the mission statement of parenthood.

The work of actually realizing this mission, like all missions, is complex, lengthy, and messy. There’s no manual for doing this correctly. How could there be when every child is a unique blessing with their own gifts and challenges? It’s not an easy job. It may well be the most difficult thing one does with their life. It is also touted as one of the most rewarding.

I’m always internally a little cautious when people starting talking about the rewards of parenthood. Words like “pride” and “legacy” don’t leave me feeling centered in the mission described above. When I…

View original post 612 more words

I’m not a Mooch

Posted on 2013/10/28 by Marcus Ampe

It takes a strong attitude for a man not to bother about the negativism against men who prefer to be a father at home for their kids.

notquiteperfectdad

So I’m constantly being asked why I chose to be a stay at home dad, and why I choose to remain one. Sometimes the question is genuine but sometimes it’s laced with scorn and disapproval…like when it comes from my in-laws.

Well I think the answer is pretty obvious, at least to myself and other stay at home dads, it’s because I’m a mooch. Yep…that’s the reason. I much rather prefer that my wife be gone 50 hours a week. I love laundry, dishes, vacuuming, diapers, puke, doctors offices, impossible nap times, crazy lunches, stupid comments from stupid people, and all the other benefits that come with being a stay at home Dad. Why work when I can just lounge around the house all day and do nothing?

Obviously that’s me exercising my right to sarcastic venting. But we know that there are many people who think just that. Why…

View original post 163 more words

Avoiding the big questions

Posted on 2013/10/28 by Marcus Ampe

Hunt Memorial Library, Nashua, New Hampshire. Designed by Ralph Adams Cram, it opened in 1903. A new library was completed in 1970, after which the Hunt building housed offices for the Nashua School Department until 1991. Following an extensive restoration, it is used today for public, private and corporate functions. Photograph by Gary McGath, May 30, 2006. Uploaded by the photographer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just want to share this other reaction a man can get when he chooses to be a stay-at-home dad, which shows how far we still have to go to get a right attitude for brining up children.

From this posting of a ‘Stay at Home Dad’ from Nashua who got a new admiration for people who can handle more than one child, him having a hard enough time with just one, we can see that certain subjects also are still bounded and perhaps stay connected with certain genders. Not all men or women do have an interest in being a technician. When technical aspects has to be taught, it should be important that the person teaching it has also full interest in it. Also for more spiritual aspects the requirements are that the person involved in teaching it should have a close feeling to the subject. When a person does not love the subject he or she is not the right person to teach about it.

Perfecting Motherhood wrote:

My kids and 5 and 7 and don’t know anything about female or male connectors, or really how the birds and the bees work, except that there are two seeds that get combined in the mother’s womb. So far, they haven’t really insisted on knowing how the seeds get there…

Today the staying at home for one of the parents is mostly a financial problem. This can be seen on several postings on the net.

Is there any change in the air? A report by the Council of Contemporary Families found American men do more housework and childcare than men in any of the other four developed countries surveyed (France, Italy, Germany and Japan). Europe likes so much going behind the US, how about that housework? Though we in Belgium do have the impression men are doing far better than in the US taking up their role with love and guts.

Demonstration for parental leave in the European Parliament Nederlands: Demonstratie voor vaderschapsverlof in het Europees Parlement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Related articles

Why Mums Shouldn’t Work and There Should Be NO SaHDs (modernfatheronline.com)
Is there some big conspiracy where all the men get together and say that women should not be allowed to make as much money as them, or have the top jobs like them?
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You need to quit your job so that the stay-at-home-dads who are having trouble finding like minded parents (yes, that’s either mums or dads, but mostly mums as they dominate the landscape, remember?) can go back to work and work instead of staying home looking after and raising their kids.
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Just for the record, if finances permitted, I would be a stay-at-home-dad in a heart beat.
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Shane Francescut wrote:

I took parental leave last year with our second son and loved every minute of it. I think every dad should spend some quality time with their kids in the early years. Love the hat. In often wearing my son’s Spider Man backpack on the walls home from daycare.

I’m a stay-at-home dad but I’m unloved by my partner. What can I do? (metro.co.uk)
I met my partner 13 years ago and we never planned to have children as I had a vasectomy. But, at 39, she wanted a baby so we used a sperm donor. Our baby is healthy and a joy. My partner, who works very hard, is now pregnant by another donor. I am a stay-at-home dad but I’m lonely – rejected and unloved by my partner. I feel unable to cope and am dreading the impending second birth. I want to improve our relationship but am lost as to what I can do and have intermittent suicidal thoughts. What can I do?

REPOST: Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads (candidreflectionsofadad.wordpress.com)
Are you feeling insecure because of your status as a “stay-at-home” dad? It’s time to change your mind by reading this insightful article from CareerPath.com. > Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads
“For us, the decision was a no-brainer,” says Andrew Krill who stays home with his twin boys, while his wife, a retail executive, commutes to work each day. “My wife’s earning capacity is far greater than mine, and we both think it’s important to have a parent at home.
“When it comes to bread-winning, I’ve taken a support role, so that my wife can excel in her career,” adds Krill, who formerly worked in the retail industry and as a bond salesman. “Yet I also recognize my duty to lead our family…and I do, both financially (by handling all bills and investments) and spiritually.”

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now (n3wbeginnings11.wordpress.com)
A friend’s dad, visiting from the UK, told me he thought that women made better stay-at-home parents. This was within the context of my friend, his son, taking 6 weeks off in-between jobs, and going on and on about how great he would be at stay-at-home-dad-ness. His father didn’t agree.

Stay-at-Home Dads Get a Crash Course in Family Finances (and Guilt) (dailyfinance.com)
A recent study by Pew Research details the trend: In 15 percent of all households of married adults with children under the age of 18, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinner. That’s up from 4 percent back in 1960, and accounts for 5.1 million married mothers who have higher incomes than their husbands.
Stay-at-home dads face many of the economic challenges and concerns as stay-at-home moms — how transitioning from two salaries to one will impact their family, if the time at home might hinder a return to the job force, and whether new roles will cause resentment. But stay-at-home dads often face cultural stigmas about what it means to be a man in America, and what price tag that role should carry.

What do Stay At Home Mums do all day?! (apocketfuloftime.wordpress.com)
I know there are a lot of Stay At Home Dads out there too. I have written this from my point of view as a mum and therefore haven’t used inclusive language throughout. Kudos to all the SAHDs out there.
While I was pregnant with my first baby and still teaching, I remember talking to a couple of colleagues who were both dads, and saying how I was looking forward to a “break from working” when I went on maternity leave. They had a good chuckle to themselves and warned me it wouldn’t be much of a break.
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I remember wondering myself what Stay at Home Mums did all day before I became one. What would I do with all that free time I would have? I had visions of studying by correspondence, maybe learning French or doing a Masters in Teaching. In actual fact having my first baby was merely a challenge because I had to get used to life revolving around my little person. This included breast-feeding round the clock, changing nappy upon nappy, and walking baby to sleep in the pram. Many a cup of tea went cold and many a shower was abandoned as I ran to pick up my crying baby. Until he slept through the night, any spare time was for rest, sleeping and, if in dire need, housework.

Peter Andre to put career on hold? (contactmusic.com)
Peter Andre is considering putting his career on hold.

The ‘Mysterious Girl’ singer is deliberating being a stay-at-home dad after his girlfriend Emily MacDonagh gives birth to their first baby together early next year, so she can continue to become a doctor.

A source told Closer magazine: ”Pete’s made it clear Emily and the baby are his priority. He wants Emily to fulfil her dreams of becoming a doctor and has been saying he’s happy about being a stay-at-home dad. He’s even joked at how good he is at changing the nappies and burping.

Mr. C's Dad

‘ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!’

A friend of mine and his five year old son came over for a visit when I had the above reaction to something this fellow Dad said. For consistency, I’ll call the five year old Mr. H.

Mr. C and Mr. H were playing with a set of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, which go along with a set of wooden railway pieces which fit together to form any number of railway configurations. Straight pieces, curved pieces, Y shapes, X shapes. Kids can come up with their own rail yards by fitting together the wooden tracks. Mr. H was trying to fit together some of the tracks when his Dad said; ‘What you need there is a track with a female connector’

That was when I had the above reaction.

I didn’t say anything though, but he could tell by my reaction that…

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