A British judge rules that mother can’t indoctrinate son with religion

A problem may arise when civil courts come to intrude with the upbringing of children about what to believe or what not to believe. But in the case of the JW mother judged about the upbringing of her son it has more to do with bringing up the child with discriminative ideas. Discrimination does not suits our civil society. All children should have the right to have contact with both parents whatever faith they may have.

All children also should not only learn about learning about mainstream Christianity or Christendom, but also about all other sorts of believes (atheism, Buddhism, Hinduism , shamanism, etc.). All children should learn that in this world there are different opinions and that every one should have respect for the different beliefs of others.

Though our society should also allow parents to bring their children into those communities they like to bring their children in, as long as they are not damaging the child. Kingdom halls are not a damaging environment. They are even less damaging than what can often be seen on television.

Taking a child away from the mother and the father is not at all a good idea and is not at all helping the child plus giving wrong signals to society in general.

As the writer of the article rightly says:

“Truly enlightened parents either tell kids to investigate different religions on their own, or help them do so without promoting one over the others. “

In several countries, like in Belgium ethical and religious education is part of the education program, giving all children the opportunity to learn about all sorts of religions, humanitarian and atheist visions. States should help the weaker ones, children, to receive an unbiased education, free from brainwashing and making the pupils strong enough to detect such forms which limit the right to think freely and to detect discriminating thoughts even by their own parents.

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Why Evolution Is True

Perhaps the statement from a New Atheist that most angers believers (or faitheists) is Richard Dawkins’s characterization of religious indoctrination of children as “child abuse.”  Yes, them’s strong words, but there’s something to be said for their truth. Of course it depends on the religion, but nearly all forms of parental teaching about religion abuse the intellectual curiosity of kids by taking advantage of their natural credulity. If you’re a Christian, you teach your kids stuff that is regarded by Muslims as not only false, but worthy of death. If you’re a Christian Scientist, you teach them to reject scientific medicine, a decision that can ultimately harm or even kill them. Further, religions can instill in children horrible feelings of guilt (ask an ex-Catholic), fear of hell, and a moral code that is bigoted, irrational, and hateful.

I don’t know how to remedy this problem, because clearly the state doesn’t want to…

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Importance of parents 1

Jehovah, the perfect Father, greatly esteems godly parents who try hard to educate their children spiritually. When the children respond, they find great joy in pursuing true worship together with their parents. As such children mature, they store up pleasant memories of such experiences.

When we look at the children in the world and question their feelings with their parents, we may notice that many have a real connection with their parents which is unforgettable. About the importance of the role of the mother and the father we notice also that those children who lost one of their parents in early childhood may have to face many problems in their future life.

Even when they may consider themselves devoted husbands or wives, having the blessing of children they can suffer with depression and being constantly struggling with issues of faith and spirituality. when the child get mothered it takes it for granted to have its mother close by, nurturing, and able to catch it when it falls or help it when something goes wrong. for the child the mother often is  the shell of their identity. When the mother dies early the safe-haven goes away, the shell collapses and all the pieces become shattered to lay fragmented in a heap. This may bring the child in despair and though things may go not so bad in life make it still to  faced a constant battle with depression.

Cover of "Questions of Life"

Cover of Questions of Life

Often the questions of life are shouted at the one several of the world consider the Creator. Most people when something goes wrong in their life give God the creator the fault of it. They forget what happened in the Garden of Eden and why man has to figure it out on his own. Many do not see the origin nor the reason why this world is so often in the struggle for life. They also question the matter of Grace. They question themselves about conditions on grace such as “you must do… or “this must happen”. Some try to put themselves at ease by thinking we receive Grace for nothing, so we should do nothing for it now. But they are mistaken. The Grace is really given for nothing, but when we do not live up to it, have no faith, do not believe nor want to worship a God we shall not receive the entrance to the Kingdom of God, though the grace was also given to us. faith without works shall be dead and result in death.

But in our life we are already able to receive the blessings of the Grace given unto us, because unto us a child is born. In our life we shall have to face the world in which we do have to live. We can’t escape this world-system. As long as Jesus did not return we are bounded to this system with all its problems.

It would be wrong to despair because the things not always evolve like we want. We must be conscious that often it is often our own minds which trick us and want to concentrate on our own self. Not out of despair but rather, out of self awareness we often go into a battle we cannot win on our own. Instead of focussing on depression we much better would focus on living life.

Those who encountered something bad in their childhood or in their parenthood may have their mind broken. But they should know that the next generation, their kids will still need a father or a mother. The wife shall need a husband the same as the husband shall need his wife. And both their lives need to be lived.

Though our world may be offering us lots of battle we may not let us be carried away and get depressed because we can not manage.  Perhaps we even manage much better than we ever would think of ourselves. Often we do forget that we can give our worries to the Father in heaven, who would do much more than any father on earth. Would it not sometimes be better to trust that Creator God, and accept Him as our Best Father? Would it not be better that those who can fight, do it but for the rest of us, and that we all join hands to stand in God’s grace and enjoy our moments letting God handle our shortfall?

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Preceding articles:

Father and motherhood

Gender Roles, What?

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Dignified role for the woman

Having children interferes with work

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now

Next: Importance of parents 2

Concerning:

  1. Giving up on depression.
  2. the detrimental cycle I call life….
  3. Seven essential checks to see if you are ready for children
  4. It is not over! – Other tests to check you are ready for children.
  5. a state of naiveté
  6. Empty Nest Syndrome: 10 Plusses To Make It All Better~by glenn kinyon
  7. Hard Lessons
  8. Parenthood made more difficult
  9. mummahood on mondays
  10. Light and Momentary Troubles
  11. Ending the cycle of judgment
  12. The Bitter and the Sweet
  13. Depression’s Antidote
  14. The Stuff My Kids Teach Me…
  15. Stuff My Kids Say
  16. The Dawning of a New Day
  17. Don’t be afraid to fall
  18. Aligned
  19. Seeking Trying To Find
  20. His Grace in Hardship

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Please do find also to read:

  1. Greatest single cause of atheism
  2. We are ourselve responsible
  3. Self-preservation is the highest law of nature
  4. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
  5. Memories are important
  6. Suffering
  7. Suffering-through the apparent silence of God
  8. End of the Bottom Line
  9. Give your worries to God
  10. Ask Grace to go forward
  11. God wants to be gracious to you
  12. Cosmos creator and human destiny
  13. The redemption of man by Christ Jesus
  14. Believing in God the rewarder
  15. Count your blessings

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  • Growing up in Ireland report raises issue of stress and depression in parenting (irishtimes.com)
    Greater supports for parents with depression or stress and more help for women at risk of giving birth to premature or low birth-weight babies are recommended in the latest Growing Up in Ireland report published today.The report, based on the study since 2006 of 11,000 children from the age of nine months, highlights the role of parenting and family contexts in child development.“Even from a very young age, the sensitivity that parents show when interacting with their babies is important for their development,” says co-author, Dr Elizabeth Nixon from Trinity College Dublin.

    “Both mothers’ and fathers’ parenting behaviours can be negatively affected by stress and depression, but babies can be protected from these potentially negative influences if sensitive parent-child interactions can be maintained.”

    For both parents, a significant association was noted between higher levels of depression and higher levels of stress. Maternal stress was strongly associated with difficult temperament in a child, though this was less pronounced in the case of fathers.

  • An Example of How the Conflict Between Parents Can Seriously Children (sbwire.com)
    The family court heard how the conflict between parents can seriously affect their child. The Court did not find that it would be in the best interest of the child for his parents to have equal shared parental responsibility due to the high level of conflict between them. Thus, the mother was awarded sole parental responsibility and the father was allowed to spend time with the child during specified dates.
  • The Psychology of Neurotic Romantic Attraction (psychologytoday.com)
    One of the most common problems psychotherapists see today is a chronic pattern of dysfunctional love relationships. The person’s chosen partners typically share consistent similarities, such as physical and/or emotional abuse, unavailability, substance abuse, instability, lying, cheating, narcissism, etc. And each relationship eventually and inevitably ends badly because of these repetitive dynamics. After a while, such destructive relationship patterns–totally obvious to everyone else–start to become more apparent even to the patient. And then the glaring therapeutic question becomes: Why would anyone in his or her right mind persist in pursuing relationships that are clearly doomed to frustration, humiliation and failure?
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    The repetition compulsion is a neurotic attempt to rewrite or undo one’s personal history. The history we try to rewrite is typically the troubled or unsatisfactory relationship with our parents, particularly, but not always, the opposite sex parent. When the early parental relationship is fraught with frustration, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, neglect or abuse, the child is in a precarious spot. As young children we mistakenly conclude that the problem with the parent(s) resides with us, and that, therefore, we possess the power to rectify it by changing ourselves into someone more acceptable to our parents. This illusory cognitive core belief not only nurtures our magical hope, but provides a much-needed sense of power and control over our environment, of which, in reality, children have very little. Children are, for the most part, victims of circumstance, possessing minimal control over their lives. No matter how cleverly they try desperately to change the distressing situation, it is typically to no avail.
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    unconscious choices in life which we are unaware of making but nevertheless still do, are potentially the most dangerous and destructive decisions. Because they are basically “blind” choices, driven not by the present and what is best for us, but by the past and what traumatized us, by that from which we are running. This is the nature of a neurosis.
  • 3 Ways To Ensure Your Parenting is an Epic Fail (greatbaygospel.wordpress.com)
    First off, there are far more than three ways to blow it as parents. Secondly, I know all of these through experience. Third, God’s grace is not dependent on our success or failure as parents.  But we are responsible for how we steward the children he entrusts to us.
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    We have no control over whether or not God regenerates our kids hearts. We do however,  have all kinds of control over whether or not we are communicating the gospel to our kids.  Don’t just assume your kids are  ”picking it up” from being around a church, but intentionally speak and show the gospel to them.
  • Devotional 04.11.2013 (thelifeofastrangercalledme.wordpress.com)
    The “grace of faith” is an effective remedy against fainting in times of trouble. Jesus Christ is our hope of glory, and because of that hope we have in Him, that hope we have is enough to encourage us during our times of distress. And that distress is that advantage, that leverage we need for the glory of God to be even more visible in our lives.
  • The blessing to me, that was blessing my daughter. (kylesweeklythoughts.wordpress.com)
    I do think there are equality issues within the Church and culture that need to be addressed, and I think that this movement is shining a light on areas of inequality.  However, my own personal opinion is to have patience with the Lord’s revelatory process and look at the way the system now works and search for the good that exists because of the current sex-segregated priesthood system while not putting blinders on to any gross inequalities and injustices.
  • Holding Them Closer – Carl Desportes Bowman (blithespirit.wordpress.com)
    Nearly 30 years ago, sociologist Robert Bellah and his team of co-authors in Habits of the Heart (1985) described the American parenting ideal as the production of independent children who “leave home,” both figuratively and literally. To never leave home, they wrote, violated the cardinal American virtue of self-reliance, contradicting self-understandings that individuals should “earn everything we get, accept no handouts or gifts, and free ourselves from our families of origin.” The essence of parenting was preparing children for just such a separation, reflecting the American belief that a meaningful life could be had only by breaking free from family and giving birth, in a sense, to oneself.
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    Parents still hope, of course, that their adult children will attain financial independence, but this aspiration is no stronger than the hope that children will retain “close ties with parents and family”—both are considered “essential” by about half of American parents. The quest for long-term connection with children has taken central stage. Parenting is still about formation, but its overriding concern has pivoted from formation to connection.
  • Incarcerating Parents and Family Members – Why Our Jail-Happy Judges Are An Embarrassment (researchingreform.net)
    The very real problem of non disclosure and other concerns the family courts must deal with on a daily basis should not be trivialised, but whilst the problems are serious, and it may seem as if intense punishments are the order of the day, they neither deter desperate parents nor improve the outcomes for children.

Noble motherhood and women

Motherhood may be highly overrated in some their society, but in the West it is downgraded. It is not because after child birth a woman continues to possess her natural needs, emotional as well as physical that she would have no opportunities to develop those as a mother.
Glorifying motherhood is not at all “but a trick to manipulate women to serve the needs of the male chauvinist society.”

Like the writer Durban says. “Noble motherhood” is not created by patriarchic society to keep women bound. If a woman is bound, like put in chains by a motherhood, it is not a noble but enslaving motherhood.
Men is much more than animal and having children cannot compared with the animal world where the mammals leave their flock go into the world not caring for them anymore. We as human being have more obligations. Those are for both parents, not only the woman. It is human mother’s job, but also father’s job to support the children to grow up to independent individuals. but they should always to be there to help and guide those they brought onto the world.

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  • Review – Home Truths: Photography, Motherhood and Identity at The Photographer’s Gallery (disphotic.lewisbush.com)
    _8__Press_Image_l_Home_Truths_l_Photography__Motherhood_and_Identity_l_Elina_Brotherus__Annunication_4__2010_52272f3edb49a

    Annonciation 4, Bruxelles, 23 October 2010 © Elina Brotherus

    The reality of motherhood, as with all human experience, is inevitably much more diverse than the resources of scant personal experience and abundant cultural cliché that my imagination can draw on. Home Truths: Photography and Motherhood, a new exhibition at The Photographers Gallery (with a simultaneous related exhibition at The Foundling Museum), attempts to highlight some of these heterogeneous experiences, and ‘challenge reductive cultural assumptions of motherhood’.

  • Motherhood!….Part 5 {Whither Womanhood} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    In religion, parent-honor is almost a form of worship! Virtually every religion carves a special top-notch niche for fathers and mothers…….”
  • Post Partum Public Urination: Motherhood (Finally) Understood. ~ Licia Morelli (elephantjournal.com)
    They talked blissfully about the wonders of motherhood and being pregnant. How giving birth to life is a magical thing and that the experience was not only life changing, but spiritually changing as well.
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    Motherhood means taking the good with the bad, the laughter with the tears, and the love with the sorrow.

    It means being embarrassed and shaking it off, falling and getting up, succeeding and failing on a daily basis.

    Motherhood means giving up adjectives that no longer apply—like svelte, firm and bladder control.

    It means taking that crying baby in your arms and holding him/her as the heat rises from their skin from hysteria and perhaps even crying with them for lack of a better idea.

    It means knowing that no matter what lies ahead, I can handle it with attempted grace and perhaps a mishap or 20.

    Motherhood is a balance and navigation.

    Motherhood means learning and growing and missing and moving and above all: living.

    Most of all, though, it means laughing, even if there is a risk of wetting your pants.

  • New Book Project For Me….and For You? (meetmeundertheeiffeltower.wordpress.com)
    Considering all the judgment that surrounds parenting, it was shocking to me (and many others) when a mother of two unabashedly bashed motherhood in the UK Mail. The article, written by Isabella Dutton, is a confessional about the fact that she didn’t – and doesn’t – want her kids.  Passage after passage describes a disdain for motherhood:
  • Motherhood maybe not as “good” as it gets (21stcenturylovetriangle.com)
    “I was acutely aware that a child would usurp my independence and drain my finances. I felt no excitement as my due date approached. I had no compulsion to fill the nursery with toys, nor did I read parenting manuals or swap tips with friends. I focused on enjoying the last months of my freedom.”
  • Motherhood In The Workplace: I Was Asked to Tone-Down the ‘Mommy Thing’ (tinystepsmommy.com)
    My children are everything to me and being a mother is a huge part of my identity. It has been for almost 15 years. That is except for the one year I was asked by my former boss, who also happened to be a woman, to tone down the “mommy thing.”
  • The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (childledchaos.me.uk)
    I was a decade older than my mother had been when I had my first child, and had a degree and a career (of sorts) behind me. I was made redundant when I was three months pregnant with our first child, and I applied for work after she was born. I therefore became the default primary carer.
  • Motherhood (fendiliuenglish.wordpress.com)
    What makes the Chippewa woman’s story sadder is that she was still valiant and unshaken even if the child she protects with her life abandons her in the wilderness. She accepts that fact peacefully then embraces her own death. While in Rose’s case, though Will leaves Medicine River and his family behind and doesn’t want to look back, he still regret that he can not be there for his mother when she dies and he often think of Rose.

Durba's corner

Nature wants us to evolve and so we procreate and leave our trace behind through our children. In a country like ours motherhood is noble but sex, through which a woman becomes a mother, is a taboo. Many a times orthodox families bring up their girl child, grooming her in household but keeping her unaware of sex. In her puberty nature makes her look sexually attractive and drives her to get close to a man of her choice. If she falls in love with a well-known guy and goes to bed with him, it is considered a sin. But when the family finds an unknown guy, just after a one day event called marriage, society gives him instant right to take her to bed.

Very often a girl gets married and thus gets exposed to sex without any preparation. She involves in unprotected sex to give her partner utmost satisfaction…

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Father and motherhood

Necessary population

Fatherhood/Motherhood

Fatherhood/Motherhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today many people may not be interested in having children and look down at those who take the time to have some children. Many forget that children represent the future generation. Without any children there will be no continuation of the people. With not enough children there will be not enough working people able to take care of the ones who can not work any more.

Respect, honour, and support for those who want to take care for the next generation is long gone. Although the modern world sends mixed messages about motherhood, the Bible affirms that children are a blessing from God and can be a source of happiness for parents.

 3 Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah;+ The fruitage of the belly is a reward.+ 4 Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man,*+So are the sons of youth.+ 5 Happy is the able-bodied man* that has filled+ his quiver with them. They will not be ashamed,+For they will speak with enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Yet, the Scriptures are not blind to the realities of motherhood. The Bible records many of its challenges.

Choices to encounter challenges

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from ...

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from the Garden of Eden

Throughout history men and women had to make their own choices. They could go their own way. The Divine Creator Jehovah God, has given humankind the right to prove that they themselves can manage this world. To make the best out of their life they have to make the right choices.

At the beginning of times the Creator gave the task to the first human beings (Adam and Eve) to multiply themselves. They had to take on the role of father and mother and to bring up children. Their children in turn had to make the choice to follow the commandments of God and creating new life, or to stay on their own and continue their life like they choose themselves.

Whatever choice the human being made, it would have implementations on their own free time and on what they could do in the future. Nothing has changed.  As in the early times of men, today those who would like to have children, have to make decisions which shall change their life for ever.

The choice of being with child will be a irreversible choice in life. Choosing for parenting and motherhood have a deep and lasting influence on the life and character of themselves and their children. These decisions can bring large changes in the parents’ life-style, so they need to be made carefully. They include such questions as: Should a mother work outside the home? If yes, how much? Who is to care for the children while the mother is away working? In the end, parents must do what they believe is best for their children and also what is right before God.

Equal in the eyes of God

Man and woman are both created in the image of God and are both equal in the eyes of the Creator. Not one is better than the other. Both have to prove themselves and make themselves worthy to enter the Kingdom of God.

Our society does not like men nor women to be unproductive, and caring for children seems for them something which does not generate money for the society. the pressure from outside can make it very difficult for men and women to choose to have children and to stay at home to take care of them.

Not alone

However, mothers need not feel alone in the struggle to make wise decisions. They can take great comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:11, which indicates that God takes special interest in the needs of mothers with young babies, whom he “will conduct with care.” God manifests such keen interest by providing in the Bible a number of guidelines that can make motherhood enjoyable and successful.

11 Like a shepherd he will shepherd his own drove.+ With his arm he will collect together the lambs;+ and in his bosom he will carry [them].+ Those giving suck he will conduct [with care].+ (Isaiah 40:11)

10 They will not go hungry,+ neither will they go thirsty,+ nor will parching heat or sun strike them.+ For the One who is having pity* upon them will lead them,+ and by the springs of water he will conduct them.+ (Isaiah 49:10)

Someone to trust

Even those people who did at first did not want to know about God and His family, may trust the Creator that when they change direction and do want to leave this materialist world to foster a more spiritual world, God shall be willing to come to their help.

16 “The lost* one I shall search for,+ and the dispersed one I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen, but the fat one+ and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one* with judgment.”*+ (Ezekiel 34:16)

Loving incoming money

Today we can see lots of people who love the incoming money and who spend their time not on family matters but pure on leisure. Many grown fat, have become thick, have become gorged. Today we can see that many are defrauding the lowly ones and crushing the poor ones. The Bible warns us for those who wanted to go the path of money and material gain instead of spiritual gain.  Those who forsook God, who made them and despised the Rock of their salvation shall have to face, in the near future, the sword of God.

15 When Jesh′u·run*+ began to grow fat, then he kicked.*+ You have grown fat, you have become thick, you have become gorged.+ So he forsook God,* who made him,+ And despised the Rock*+ of his salvation. (Deuteronomy 32:15)

16 Therefore the [true] Lord,* Jehovah of armies, will keep sending upon his fat ones a wasting disease,+ and under his glory a burning will keep burning away like the burning of a fire.+ (Isaiah 10:16)

26 And I will make those maltreating you eat their own flesh; and as with the sweet wine they will become drunk with their own blood. And all flesh will have to know that I, Jehovah,+ am your Savior+ and your Repurchaser,+ the Powerful One of Jacob.”+ (Isaiah 49:26)

Needing care, love and ingenuity

Jehovah, the Only One God, knows that children are small, delicate and tender, and that they need the necessary care. Those who want to give that care, not for their own gain or lust, God is willing to help.

2 Shepherd+ the flock of God+ in YOUR care, not under compulsion,* but willingly;*+ neither for love of dishonest gain,+ but eagerly; (1 Peter 5:2)

God’s Word says that the person who “is guarding discernment is going to find good.”

8 He that is acquiring heart*+ is loving his own soul. He that is guarding discernment is going to find good.+ (Proverbs 19:8)

English: Children dancing, International Peace...

Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discernment is needed to sort through the unending range of leisure activities, gadgets, and trends that overwhelm mothers and children. Everywhere we are confronted with commercials. Constantly we are being bombarded with new products, better technology, and more services! Economic pressures takes a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.

We as Christians can take on the right attitude so that we can cope with those challenges. As a person we do have to determine what is essential and useful to ourself and to those we love. As parents we also should help our children to do the same thing.

Making the changes that are possible

When we are going to have children we should use common sense and sound judgement.

19 Jehovah himself in wisdom founded the earth.+ He solidly fixed the heavens in discernment.+ 20 By his knowledge the watery deeps* themselves were split apart,+ and the cloudy skies keep dripping down light rain.+ 21 My son, may they not get away from your eyes.+ Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability,+ 22 and they will prove to be life to your soul+ and charm to your throat.+ 23 In that case you will walk in security+ on your way, and even your foot will not strike against anything.+ 24 Whenever you lie down you will feel no dread;+ and you will certainly lie down, and your sleep must be pleasurable.+ 25 You will not need to be afraid of any sudden dreadful thing,+ nor of the storm upon the wicked ones, because it is coming.+ 26 For Jehovah himself will prove to be, in effect, your confidence,*+ and he will certainly keep your foot against capture.+ (Proverbs 3: 19-21-26)

If you are currently working outside the home, can your family live on just your husband’s income? To help answer this question, determine how much your actual take-home pay is after subtracting taxes, child care, commuting costs, wardrobe, meals out, and extras. Also, your husband’s income may be taxed at a higher rate if your combined income puts you in a higher income bracket. You may be surprised how little is left over.

Some work fewer hours or closer to home, which may mean less money but more time with the children. If you decide to stop working and if your job has been important to you for your self-worth and sense of accomplishment, think about how you can maintain these important elements while staying home.

Juggling act

Balancing work and home is not easy, but can be done. There are millions of working mothers and a few thousands of fathers who embraced the idea that ‘quality time’ with the children could partly make up for frequent absences — and who have found the idea wanting. Many mothers today say that juggling the stresses of work with the responsibilities of home leaves them overworked, overstrained, and underpaid.

Full-time mothers or full time fathers who stay at home to look after their children say that they have to endure being patronized and downgraded by a society geared to glorifying paid work. In some societies being a housewife is no longer considered an honourable position, so women are pressured to have their own career, even if the extra income is not necessary. To be a houseman is considered even more grave than a housewife by many.

Men escaping their duties

While a growing number of mothers work longer hours, fathers do not always compensate. The Sunday Times of London wrote:

“Britain is a nation of absent fathers, according to new research showing that men spend as little as 15 minutes a day with their children. . . . Many men do not take much pleasure in spending time with their families. . . . By comparison, the British professional mother will spend 90 minutes a day with her children.”

Some husbands complain that their wife finds it difficult to delegate tasks because she insists that everything be done exactly the way she is used to doing it. “Otherwise, you do it wrong,” the husbands say. Obviously, in order to benefit from the cooperation of her husband, a tired housewife may have to be willing to make some concessions as to the way certain household tasks are done. On the other hand, the husband should not use that argument as an excuse to do nothing.

Taking up fatherhood

David Blankenhorn, one of the founders of the National Fatherhood Initiative, which promotes responsible, committed fatherhood, noted that in a 1994 survey of 1,600 U.S. men, 50 percent said that their fathers were emotionally absent during their childhood. Many of today’s fathers do not want to see this pattern repeated.

Fathers who are actively involved with their children can be a wholesome influence. Referring to research published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Toronto Star said that when fathers eat meals with their children, go on outings with them, and help with homework, there are “fewer behaviour problems, higher levels of sociability and a higher level of school performance among children and adolescents.”

The foregoing highlights an arrangement for raising children that is as practical today as when first penned over three thousand years ago. The Originator of the family specifically instructed fathers to be actively involved in raising their children.

 14 On account of this I bend my knees+ to the Father,+ 15 to whom every family+ in heaven and on earth owes its name,+ 16 to the end that he may grant YOU according to the riches+ of his glory to be made mighty in the man YOU are inside+ with power through his spirit,+ 17 to have the Christ dwell through [YOUR] faith in YOUR hearts with* love;+ that YOU may be rooted+ and established on the foundation,+ 18 in order that YOU may be thoroughly able to grasp mentally+ with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth,+ 19 and to know the love of the Christ+ which surpasses knowledge, that YOU may be filled with all* the fullness+ that God gives. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

4 And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating* YOUR children,+ but go on bringing them up+ in the discipline+ and mental-regulating*+ of Jehovah.* (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers were counselled to inculcate a love for God in the hearts of their children and to speak to them of God’s regulations and commandments. God told them to do this ‘when they sat in their house and when they walked on the road and when they lay down and when they got up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Shared responsibility

Parenting is a shared responsibility. The Bible admonishes children: “Listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) The role of the father is vital. It includes supporting and respecting the mother and sharing in child-rearing tasks. It also requires spending time reading to and talking with the children. This fills a vital emotional need of children.

Unquestionably, the Bible is the most reliable source of counsel and sound principles for a well-adjusted family. A father who actively provides for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of his family is fulfilling his God-assigned responsibility.

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Find also to read:

  1. Parenthood made more difficult
  2. Having children interferes with work
  3. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  4. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  5. Gender Roles, What?
  6. Dignified role for the woman
  7. Gender roles and Multitasking parents
  8. Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now
  9. Avoiding the big questions
  10. I started off with the little things….
  11. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
  12. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
  13. Women Delivering Development: Reproductive Health, Environment and the Post-2015 Agenda
  14. European Parliament stands for human dignity
  15. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
  16. Don’t be the weakest link
  17. It Takes a Village
  18. Choices
  19. Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives
  20. For those who make other choices
  21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  22. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
  23. Thirst for happiness and meaning
  24. Remember there’s a light in the next day
  25. Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past
  26. The truest greatness lies in being kind
  27. Be happy that the thorn bush has roses
  28. Partakers of the sufferings
  29. Life and attitude of a Christian
  30. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator
  31. God helper and deliverer

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  • Letters To A Natalist World: Motherhood Is Not The Highest Paid Job In The World (childfreevoices.com)
    I know you want parenting to look as appealing as possible, but come on, who do you you think you’re fooling here?If being a parent is so great, then you shouldn’t have to lie about what it is to brag about it. These cutesy-wootsey, natalism-worshipping FaceBook share-fodder pictures with ridiculous captions have got to stop.
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    Rebecca Meyer wrote:
    It’s funny that people try to say we have kids so that we have something that will “love us unconditionally.” It’s not even accurate. Psychologically, children love Conditionally because they depend on the parent for food, water, shelter, and any other basic survival needs. Infants do not love a parent unconditionally (meaning even if the basic survival needs weren’t met). Unconditional love actually to me comes from relationships mostly not within the family because you don’t feel obligated to love the person like you feel when family members are concerned.
  • Motherhood!….Part 5 {Whither Womanhood} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    At every turn, motherhood praises are deafening! In songs, poetry and prose, motherhood is cast in gold and eulogized in every culture, race and creed! Little wonder the whole earth is referred to as “Mother Earth”!
    As things stand, motherhood seems to be rated above womanhood or regarded as the defining factor and crown of womanhood!
    In not-so-liberal cultures, barrenness or, not bearing the ‘right gender’ of children is considered the fault of the woman and enough grounds for dissolving a marriage or desecrating it with impunity!
    Many acclaimed preachers and religious teachers tell us that we are here to multiply, increase and fill the earth and where a middle-aged woman is not part of this multiplication equation, she is not fulfilling a Divine ordinance.
  • Motherhood!…….Part 4 {Children, Honor Fathers and Mothers} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    Generally, mothers are accorded a great deal of love and respect, even above fathers! Maybe because they are one of the first voices and faces the child recognizes; the first teachers; the caring hands that rock the cradle and, as a reward, the hand that rocks the cradle gets the larger dose of love!
    Conventionally, daddy provides the comfort and balm but, it is mommy who solicitously applies them and gets noticed more! Cherishing dear mommy is usually the nurturing ground for love and other virtues!
    In religion, parent-honor is almost a form of worship! Virtually every religion carves a special top-notch niche for fathers and mothers. The Christian Scriptures encapsulates it all with the Commandment “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”!
    However, the wrong interpretation of this Commandment has inadvertently worked untold hardship on many a child who struggles to obey it! How is a child to honor a father who has degenerated to a drunkard and drug addict; or a mother who through hot temper, loose tongue and lack of self-discipline torments the household?
    How can a child honor and revere parents who roundly abuse themselves and are frequently embroiled in violent quarrels?
    Unless the child is also contaminated, he/she can only pay lip-service and empty habitual respect to such parents. The impetus for pure love and heart-felt honor which streams from the soul is lacking! The child simply tags along in make-believe obedience!
  • God is Jehovah Shammah-God is There! (crosbyp12003.wordpress.com)
    Gods wants us to trust him with everything; hear that Everything. Sometimes we can get ahead of a God and think we have the answers. As new covenant believers God lives on the inside of us through the Holy Spirit. God is always with us. He does not turn his back on us to fend for ourselves . God wants to heal msny of us from a false view that he is a God ready to beat you down.
  • Motherhood (girlinterrupted28.wordpress.com)
    What makes a mother?This is a question I find myself asking much too often, practically on a daily basis.  Mostly because I wonder if I qualify.  If I am a mother.  When people ask how many children I have, when I have to fill out a form, when I watch friends struggling with their children or to create children at all…I ask myself.  Because I want to be a mother.  Because I was a mother.
  • Is there a “shortage” of single fathers? (dalrock.wordpress.com)
    Captain Capitalism found an article on eHarmony titled 15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom. The fifteen reasons boil down to various ways of stating that single moms are easy, they will mother you, and you get to have fun with kids.
    +
    there can be good reasons why a woman might find herself without the father of her children in the household, but the fact that he’s not around isn’t proof of her loyalty;  statistically speaking it is more likely than not an indication that she ejected the father from the home.  Aside from widows, it is at the very least a red flag which needs to be thoroughly vetted.
  • Motherhood In The Workplace: I Was Asked to Tone-Down the ‘Mommy Thing’ (tinystepsmommy.com)
    I decided to return to work after being home with AD for 20 months. My oldest AL was 8-years-old and my daughter B was only four-months-old. I was still nursing, yet I accepted a job in the corporate office of a franchise company to manage their communications. I wanted to give my “career” a chance. Looking back, I realize I was overwhelmed at home and suffering from a major case of the grass is always greener.
    +
    After our departmental meeting, my new boss pulled me aside and “suggested” that I don’t lead with the “mommy thing.” I was stunned and insulted and embarrassed. I figured she knew what she was talking about. I hadn’t worked in the private sector before. My experience was with not-for-profit organizations, trade associations, or at a newspaper. Again, I ignored my instincts.
  • Optional Parenthood (ordinarybutloud.wordpress.com)
    One of my mother friends finds it strange that out of my handful of closest friends in the world (and she is included on the list) two of them are childless. She thinks it’s strange because a) I’m so devoted to my own parenting; b) my life is seemingly arranged to facilitate parenthood; c) most of the friendships she’s made or maintained have come through her kids and the parents of her kids’ friends. It bears mentioning that this friend is someone I met years and years ago, before either of us had children. It’s not as if we became friends because we are both parents. We were already friends and then we became parents.
  • The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (childledchaos.me.uk)
    My mum first became a mother in the early 1960s. She was 20 when she got married, and a month over 21 when my eldest brother arrived. By her 24th birthday she had three sons, all under three.
    +
    Modern motherhood (and modern parenthood) is so far removed from five decades ago, it really is like comparing chalk and cheese. I can’t imagine how women (and it was almost exclusively women) in the 1960s juggled childcare and housework, let alone adding paid work into the mix.I was a decade older than my mother had been when I had my first child, and had a degree and a career (of sorts) behind me. I was made redundant when I was three months pregnant with our first child, and I applied for work after she was born. I therefore became the default primary carer.

    I ‘returned to work’ when my baby was five months old and, as I didn’t breastfeed, this was easy. I had three days a week paid work, leaving four days to concentrate on motherhood, and pretended that it was just perfect that I had the benefits of both work and home. How jolly!

    How untrue! Working part-time (or full-time) and being a full-time parent (because if you’re a parent, you are a full-time parent, especially when you’re the primary carer) doesn’t give you the benefits of both; it gives you the downsides of both. Multiplied.

  • Motherhood= Amazing (arichter0723.wordpress.com)
    Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mommy. I had many baby dolls and would take care of them as if they were my own.  I would pay attention to my mother and what she did for me, so I could be a better mommy to my “babies.” I would read to them, take them on car trips, and put them to bed right next to me. My babies were my everything.

Gender roles and Multitasking parents

Women and/or men who choose to remain at home to look after their children face a torrent of prejudice.

Motherism or fatherism

Dr Aric Sigman, at a conference convened by Mothers At Home Matter warned of the rise of “motherism”; a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, but for the same matter he could also have spoken about the stay-at-home fathers.
The “motherism” he is talking about could as well be called “fatherism” which is as dangerous for the men as the “motherism” is for the women. Both puts women and men off being stay-at-home parents, which is the developmental ideal in the present society.

There is not only a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, also fathers who decide to spend some time off work to have more time with the kids are scammed.

writes:

There is a presentation of women who look after their own children full time as air-headed, spoilt and dowdy. However, there is also a prejudice against women who look after their children but aren’t dowdy (yummy mummies); women who go back to work after having had children; women who stay out of work but also employ nannies; women who work part-time and look after their children the rest of the time.

Wanting to stay home

How many mom’s would like to be stay at home Mom’s and how many Dad would like the be stay at home Dad, wonders Colleen Fassler of  Mom Wife Family Health Life.

In Belgium that answer would be clear: No body would dare to say they would like to stay at home to take care of the kids. The few who say that they would prefer to stay at home are looked at and considered to be the weaker elements of this society.

Our youngsters will have to work already until 67 before they can retire, but will only receive retirement allotment for the days they really worked to earn money, over their full career. The kids brought up in a one child family did not learn to share and do not want to share much with others. Many of them do not even find a reason why to marry when it is easier and with no strings, just to enjoy sex without any commitments.

SDT-2013-05-fertility-education-01The after babyboom generation with other aims

From the previous articles you can make up that today moms are different from those of the baby boom generation. They are not only more likely to have gone to university, they also want to realize their assets. To convert their knowledge into cash they are more likely to work full-time, less likely to have more than two children, and less likely to be married than previous generations.

In the United States, Pew Social Trends revealed that, from 2008 to 2011, the number of new mothers (women between the ages of 15 and 44 who have given birth in the past 12 months) with less than a high school diploma declined 17%, and the number with only a high school diploma went down 15%. By contrast, the number of new mothers with some college education fell by 6%, and the number with a bachelor’s degree or more fell by just 1%.

Marital status depending upon educational attainment

Although less educated women are a shrinking share of all new mothers, less educated women still have a higher average number of births throughout their lifetime than more educated women. By the end of their childbearing years, women without a high school diploma have on average 2.5 children, and women with a bachelor’s degree have about 1.7. This gap has closed only slightly over the past 25 years.

There are significant differences in the marital status of new mothers depending upon their educational attainment. While about six-in-ten (61% in 2011) women with less than a high school diploma are unmarried when they give birth, this share declines to only 9% among women with at least a bachelor’s degree. {Record Share of New Mothers are College Educated}

Experts have identified a strong linkage between child well-being and maternal education levels. On average, a mother with more education is more likely to deliver a baby at term and more likely to have a baby with a healthy birth weight. As they grow up, children with more educated mothers tend to have better cognitive skills and higher academic achievement than others. It is difficult to determine whether maternal education is causing some of these outcomes, or if it is serving as a proxy for some other causal factor (for example, economic well-being). What is irrefutable, though, is that on average the more education a woman has, the better off her children will be.

Working as hard as ever, but not at home

Moms are working as hard as ever — but they’re spending more time in offices than at home; as a result, moms and dads are more similar now than ever. For most of the 20th century (and before), parents specialized. Dad worked for money. Mom worked at home. But as female education increased — and mid-century technology made housework less time-intensive — moms and dads became less specialized. More moms worked more for money. More dads worked more at home.

At the moment we still may find many families where mothers are much more likely to do the “dirty work” of child care while fathers are more likely to spend a greater share of their time playing with kids or doing home maintenance, like mowing the lawn. But it’s a closing gap, whereby we have developed to a society where the household jobs are considered the ‘dirty jobs’ or jobs to be done by the uneducated and not useful persons. Being a mother or a father, staying at home is by many considered as profiting of the society and not done.

Social media fakes

Illustration of Facebook mobile interface

Illustration of Facebook mobile interface (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today it is just not done to become a parent or not to be able to show off with all the material wealth we can get today. Instead of spending time to create a real family people prefer to have a virtual circle of friends on Facebook. On Facebook a nice world is presented where the lives are consistently full of happy and wholesome family outings, when there are kids in the house, but mostly it are kidless photo-shoots of far away places with ever changing girlfriends or men.

Allison Hart, who says she loves her children, and who has also learned that motherhood is a series of shocks and disappointments, disgusting things under her fingernails, horrifying smells and constant irritation, writes:

In between those smiling moments are thousands of other moments which go undocumented on Facebook.

We all want to share our best moments. We all want that person we knew 22 years ago and haven’t seen since to think that we are living the life. We aren’t bored. We haven’t watched 13 hours of TV today. Our kids are as charming as they are cute so I’m never, ever jealous of your child-free globe-trotting life. The world can wait! Right now I’m doing the most important and fulfilling job a person can. Oh, and that one picture of me that I’ve posted within the last three years? That old thing? Gosh, I think the kids must have snapped that one while I was composting our garden. Yes I do that in silk and heels. Duh.

Preferring not to tell

Many mothers and fathers dare not to to say the things that most mothers and fathers have thought, but few have had the courage to admit. Telling others to chose for motherhood or fatherhood is like throwing oneself in front of the lions or facing the jaws.

The ones still daring to become a mother would like to become hyperefficient, which makes them only to fail in their made up world. They suddenly want to do everything at once. Some may learn to delegate, prioritize, negotiate and, when necessary, take the wrong choice to give up seeing friends, hoping to get themselves more time with their partner — hardest of all — sleep.

In one survey  posted for working parents, 88% of the nearly 500 respondents said they had suffered stress-related health problems (like anxiety and depression) since having kids and going back to work. One woman told her that at the peak of her working-mom stress, she started having seizures at night.

Most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels

Alcorn writes:

Studies like “The Three Faces of Work-Family Conflict” explain that America may be the most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels. Low-wage workers contend with rigid schedules, no paid time off and a lack of affordable child care, while professionals are often expected to work grueling hours and travel for business. Although we experience the problem in different ways, the result is the same: chronic stress.

To be sure, this is not only a women’s problem. As men become more involved at home, studies show that they too are struggling with work-family conflict. And often they work longer hours than women do. But mothers still do more housework and child care, even when both parents work. Mothers multitask more than fathers and enjoy less leisure time than fathers. And mothers experience more guilt about working full time than fathers do.

It makes sense, then, that women are more at risk for the health effects of stress. We are 60% more likely to suffer an anxiety disorder and 70% more likely to suffer from depression than men. Women may be four times as likely as men to suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome. Women are also more likely to suffer from eating disorders, sleep problems and substance abuse as a result of workplace stress.

Showbizz kids

Natalie Portman encounters the Berlinale audie...

Natalie Portman encounters the Berlinale audience and media (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jerusalem-born 32 years old Natalie Portman revealed that she loves being a mother and has learned to be less judgmental in the years following the birth of her son Aleph, two. She had to accept that parenting is an individual endeavour with no real rules of engagement.

‘I love being a mum,’ Portman said. ‘I’m less judgmental than before I had a kid. The biggest thing about parenting is that it is a totally different experience for every person.

‘Everything is cool, there are no rules – I mean, apart from not hurting your kid. Some people breastfeed until their babies are five, and some don’t breastfeed at all.

Showbizz people do not mind letting the world know they want some time to spend with their children. From those actors and actress it is accepted they may take sometime for their children. People are willing to give them some basic support to meet their competing obligations. But for ordinary folks the competitive world have created an impossible situation.

Young having to take care of the older ones

Our society if it is going to have enough young people to work for the payment of elderly their retirement and the non-active population, shall have to review her stance against married couples, parents and parenting.

We do not claim that it is better that women don’t work. They do have to play their role as well as the men and should be able to share the same duties. that means that men also should become equal to the women, and should also have to do tasks people considered a few years ago only for women, now also to be done by men.

Equality of gender a coin with three sides

The equality of gender should go both ways. the population has to give everybody the right to make their own choice about work and leisure? Everybody should be allowed to choose how much time to spend at a job and what to do in the unpaid sector, be it voluntary work or household work.

says:

  • we can’t keep going at this pace. We need more fathers to share the work of raising a family (which means, for many men, working less).
  • We need employers to offer options like telecommuting, flexible scheduling and better part-time jobs to protect all workers from burning out.
  • We need better government policies: things like paid sick leave and paid parental leave, something every developed country in the world except the U.S. offers its citizens.

The bottom line is this: we have to stop making mothers choose between financial stability and their own health.

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Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl

Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Preceding articles:

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

Having children interferes with work

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now

Gender Roles, What?

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Please do also find to read:

  1. Parenthood made more difficult
  2. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
  3. Do stay-at-home mothers upset you? You may be a motherist
  4. Motherhood Gave Me a Nervous Breakdown
  5. Avoiding the big questions
  6. How Motherhood Is Changing Dramatically—in 11 Graphs
  7. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
  8. I started off with the little things….
  9. I’m not a Mooch

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  • College Education – Talking It Out With Your Folks (degreesinusa.wordpress.com)
    the rising costs of getting college education can be daunting for some parents to bear. If your parents were not able to save for the day you have to go to college then it will be all bad news. That is why before you set your sights on getting post-secondary education, it is best to consult your parents about your decision. Here are some great tips that you can use in order to convince your parents that getting a college education can immensely make your life better.
  • No more apologies (inadifferentvoice.co.uk)
    Instead of being able to identify with any positive model of what I’m currently doing with my life, I frequently feel obliged to delineate all of the things I am Not. Granted, in small stages, and in comparison to the enormous inequalities of the world, these niggles are a drop in the ocean. I move on with my colossal buggy to face the tuts of another innocent childless pedestrian. It is only when I stop and consider the bigger picture, or talk to other parents, that I find that it is the experience itself which is mind-numbingly pedestrian. To be a SAHM mum is to be a disparaged vacuum.
    +
    I find perspective in unexpected places; conversations with older women for example who have highlighted that in their day it was the working mums who faced approbrium (thanks Norma), or from men who want to be more involved but feel childcare is still left in a box reserved for women.
    +
    Feminists are fairly agreed in their critique of the 1950’s housewife model (despite that many women couldn’t afford not to work anyway), yet it seems to have swept over the fact that despite six decades of development, much of the actual work of the SAHM remains unchanged. I cook, bake, organise activities, tend to children, shop and clean (for visitors, sometimes). I do many housewifey things. But when I look to feminism for positive reinforcement of that, I often feel there’s just a dark swirl of snarky remarks, lack of understanding, and an image of Audrey Hepburn in a flowery frock, shrugging vacantly.
  • The rise of ‘Motherism’ – prejudice against stay-at-home mums (telegraph.co.uk)

    Dr Sigman, a fellow of the Society of Biology and associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, has argued in the past that evidence about the long-term effects of sending very young children to full-time day care is being ignored because of a political and economic agenda.

    Addressing a conference organised by the Mothers At Home Matter group, he said that evidence from biosciences showed that mothers provided “unrivalled benefits” to young children that other people, including fathers, cannot.
    +

    Many working families see “full time” parenting as a luxury enjoyed only by those wealthy enough to live on one wage or those on benefits.

    Dr Sigman, who has four children, said that the derogatory attitudes towards stay-at-home mothers appeared to be the result of a mix of political and economic agendas.

    “I suppose the older feminism, liberal-Left feminism, has ended up a strange bedfellow with Right-wing capitalism.”

  • Comment: In pursuit of gender equality and work-life balance (sbs.com.au)
    Sociologists have spent decades looking at work-family conflict and the stress associated with combining work and family roles. The bulk of the research identifies which individuals report the most work-family conflict. Not surprisingly, they find that women, professionals, people who work longer hours and people with greater workplace flexibility are more likely to say family conflicts with work.This research, of course, validates many of our experiences. Yes, there is gender inequality. Yes, people in professional positions struggle with balancing work and family roles. Yes, your boss can hear your toddler harassing the kitty while you are on the phone. And, yes, these are real problems that deserve real solutions.
    +
    in the most gender-equal societies, such as Sweden, Norway and Finland, this pattern changes. Fathers in these countries are the most likely to report family interferes with their work life than are mothers or individuals without children.So what gives? Why are Swedish dads having such a hard time? We suspect that Swedish men may not be able to opt-out of childcare responsibilities while at work like men in lower gender-equality countries because they have an institutional structure that encourages gender equality.
  • “Superwoman: Can Today’s Women Have It All?” (katelynbudroe.wordpress.com)
    The history of women working outside the home began when women entered the workforce during WWII. Men went to war and vacated jobs which required a labor force. In a world where the average housewife did not work outside the home a marketing campaign ensued. The U.S. government lured women with the iconic symbol of “Rosie the Riveter” with the underlying message that it was their patriotic duty to work. After the war when men returned to their jobs there was a new social shift in America and a new generation of women. America had to contend with a new playing field as women’s outlooks and attitudes toward work were born.
    +
    In real life there are far too few women among the highest ranks of the professions, and millions of everyday women struggle to make ends meet and to juggle work and family.
    +
    The increase of women working outside the home has caused an increase in divorce rates. During the recession when many men lost their jobs, women were able to find work quicker than men. This is usually attributed because men could not find jobs that paid them the same salaries as they had before they lost their jobs and women were filling jobs at lower wages. The realization by women that she can be a good provider may be an indication that a working wife will choose divorce over and unsatisfactory marriage. But the reverse is equally probable. Financial problems cause tension and often play a key role in ending a marriage. The lack of two incomes forces men to stay home and sometimes causes a rift in a marriage as the gender roles are reversed and men feel less competent and is no longer the provider. For married women it is difficult to maintain a happy marriage as she becomes the primary breadwinner and more independent.
  • Why “Working Mother” Is A Redundant Term, Part 2 (sarahsiders.com)
    When one of my best friends, someone who vigilantly linked arms with me in our efforts to empower women, decided to leave the workforce and stay home, we both had some philosophical wrestling to do.
    +
    Being a stay-at-home parent sounded impossible. In fact, my day job felt like an escape. I got to run off into my area of competency all day, got to look knowledgeable and pretend to be “the expert”, with opportunities for acknowledgement for all my contributions.
    +
    So back to the “working mother” business. This term has got to go. It not so subtly implies that stay-at-home moms like my friend aren’t working, that they are just sitting there catching up on 30 Rock episodes while their Roomba vacuums and a nanny totes the children about to various activities. Hardly.
  • Why Gender Equality Is Not Just About Equal Rights (theage.com.au)
    According to a newly released report from the World Economic Forum [pdf], Iceland is the No. 1 country in the world for gender equality, for the fifth year in a row. And that equality is helping propel Iceland and its fellow Nordic nations to new economic heights. Turns out, the smaller the gender gap, the more economically competitive the nation. Even when that nation is totally freezing.
  • Motherless Mom. (tdawneightyone.wordpress.com)
    For me, there are no words available that will allow me to convey what it is like to be a motherless daughter.  It means something different at every stage in my life.  Hope Edelman wrote in her book “Motherless Daughters” about wanting to shout to everyone that her mom died because it sums up so much of who she is and I get that. The only thing that has impacted me greater than losing my mom at the age of 15 has been becoming a mom myself.
  • Breastfeeding support for mom (utsandiego.com)

    Breastfeeding. Women have been doing it since the beginning of human history, though the practice has gone in and out of vogue many times since then. For some women, it’s harder now than ever to take on the task.

    “There is definitely a very clear understanding in our society … that breastfeeding is absolutely best for babies and mothers,” said Diana West, media relations director for La Leche League International, a mother-to-mother breastfeeding support organization that formed in the 1950s.“The problem is mothers understand that intellectually but then the baby is born and they have difficulty.”

  • Lessons in Feminism, From my Father. (thisclimbingbean.wordpress.com)
    It was the mid-80s. We were Anglican Church-goers, and the idea of women in the priesthood was not new, but it was by no means widely accepted, especially not in our small West Australian diocese. My father was a deacon by then, having assisted as a lay person during services for some time. But even though women did help in the service occasionally, and were involved in other areas of the church family, they were not in leading roles.Yet my father didn’t go into any of this. He simply told me that if I wanted to be a priest, then I could. By the time I was grown up, he suggested, there might be lots of women who were priests.
    +
    once he had showed me that the world could certainly use more strong women, and that I could be one of them, he would turn this around on me. I’d bring home a report, I’d do well in a competition, and he would shrug, then say, eyes twinkling, ‘Yeah, it’s alright I guess. For A Girl.‘Because he could throw that line at me now, knowing that I got the joke. It’s not that others had moved beyond that attitude, that prejudice. It still existed. It still does. But it was his way of pushing me, and of praising me without having to say the words.

Dignified role for the woman

The dignity of the office of housewife is today by many forgotten. Many men are not conscious what a work it demands to keep the household running properly. there are men who wanted their wives to work outside the house, but who are not willing to take on themselves the jobs in the house. Instead many married men do expect to have the woman working to bring in extra money plus doing all the household tasks.

If we want to see gender equality we do have to find the household jobs being done by men and women, both sharing in equal tasks.

English: Equality (film), a short film produce...

Equality (film), a short film produced and directed by Al Sutton, MD in 2010, that documents the largest gender equality strike in U.S. History, The Women’s Strike for Equality of 1970. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When we look at creation, the first woman, Eve, was provided as Adam’s complement, or counterpart, by the Creator. She was not created as a minor to the first man Adam. the divine Maker of all things, the Elohim Hashem Jehovah God assigned to the mannin or first woman an honourable role in the family arrangement. She was to be a part of God’s purpose for them to produce children and care for them as well as to take care of the earth and its animals. She would provide the intellectual stimulus and support of a true companion.

26 And God* went on to say: “Let us+ make* man* in our image,*+ according to our likeness,+ and let them have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and the domestic animals and all the earth and every moving animal that is moving upon the earth.”+ 27 And God proceeded to create the man in his image, in God’s image he created him;+ male and female he created them.+ 28 Further, God blessed+ them and God said to them: “Be fruitful+ and become many and fill the earth and subdue+ it, and have in subjection+ the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving* upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

23 Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh.+ This one will be called Woman,* Because from man* this one was taken.”+ (Genesis 2:23.)

Today we have become a society where mothers are commonly made to feel that being a homemaker and caring for children is a second-class occupation. Women are made feeling guilty when they would prefer to look for the children. The world does not mind to see the children dropped at the crèche or childcare early in the morning, and to get them at the end of the day just to put them back into bed. Though they do not want that the childminders interfere with upbringing or that the educators at school give an education in ethical behaviour. Because of that we do have already three generations where we can find no guided social behaviour, creating several problems in social behaviour and finding ways to live together with others. Resulting in anti-social behaviour.

Some men and women feel that a woman needs a career outside the home in order to realize her full potential.

Through history we can see that the Divine Creator established guidelines for what women could do and as to how they were to be treated. For example, Israelite mothers were to be shown honor and not to be treated with contempt. If a son ‘called down evil upon his father and his mother,’ he would be subject to the death penalty. Christian youths were urged to be “obedient to [their] parents.”

3 “‘YOU should fear each one his mother and his father,*+ and my sabbaths YOU should keep.+ I am Jehovah YOUR God. (Leviticus 19:3)

9 “‘In case there should be any man who calls down evil upon his father and his mother,+ he should be put to death without fail.+ It is his father and his mother upon whom he has called down evil. His own blood* is upon him.+ (Leviticus; 20:9)

Children in the early times learned to be obedient to their parents and to those who got guidance over them, like their teachers. This does not seem to be appropriate any more today, and that iw why so much is going wrong in our society.

6 Children, be obedient* to YOUR parents+ in union+ with [the] Lord,* for this is righteous:+ (Ephesians 6:1)

16 “‘Honor your father and your mother,+ just as Jehovah your God has commanded you; in order that your days may prove long and it may go well with you+ on the ground that Jehovah your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)

16 “‘Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.’+ (And all the people must say, ‘Amen!’) (Deuteronomy 27:16)

17 The eye that holds a father in derision and that despises obedience to a mother+—the ravens of the torrent valley will pick it out and the sons of the eagle will eat it up. (Proverbs 30:17.)

People sitting on mats on the floor, reading b...

Men and women sitting on mats on the floor, reading books to edify themselves. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Father an mother were placed on the same level, and children did not have to honour their father more than their mother. Under the husband’s direction, the mother was to be the educator of both daughters and sons. A son was commanded ‘not to forsake the law of his mother.’

20 Observe, O my son, the commandment of your father,+ and do not forsake the law of your mother.+ (Proverbs 6:20)

Also, Proverbs chapter 31 provides “the weighty message that [King Lemuel’s] mother gave to him in correction.” She wisely directed her son to avoid improper use of alcoholic beverages, saying: “It is not for kings to drink wine or for high officials to say: ‘Where is intoxicating liquor?’ that one may not drink and forget what is decreed and pervert the cause of any of the sons of affliction.”(Proverbs 31:1, 4, 5.)

The apostle Paul let his brethren know he also listened to his mother and grandmother and demanded that they also did that. (2 Timothy 1:5) It is from childhood that the basics of faith and the way of life should be given, to the babe, the teen, the adolescent, so that the young adult can remember how his or her parents and teachers brought wisdom to them. From infancy the children should have to learn about the way they do have to continue in their life. From infancy they have to known the Holy Scriptures, that are able to make them wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

15 and that from infancy+ you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation+ through the faith in connection with Christ Jesus.+ (2 Timothy 3:15)

In our society of men and women some may think it does not matter any more if men or going to live together with other men or women with other women. In the provision for manhood is foreseen that young man would find young woman and would contemplate going to live together under a bond called marriage. Considering such a bond the young man would be wise to consider the description of “a capable wife” that was given by King Lemuel’s mother, who said: “Her value is far more than that of corals.” Then, after describing the important contribution that such a wife makes to a household, the king’s mother said: “Charm may be false, and prettiness may be vain; but the woman that fears Jehovah is the one that procures praise for herself.” (Proverbs 31:10-31) Clearly, our Creator made women to occupy a position of honour and responsibility in the family.

In cultures where men received an education centred on the man, we can observe the mistreatment of and lack of respect for women. In places where it is accepted that the woman has to offer something very valuable to the community, people look at those women with respect.

We learn so much from mothers — habits that stand us in good stead throughout life, good manners so essential for good relationships, and in many cases a moral and spiritual upbringing that keeps youths on course.

Women should be proud and show their kids and husbands their reason for making our world a righteous place where every person can be treated equally respectful. The should find joy in loving their husbands, loving their children, and should be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonoured.  (Titus 2:4-5)

+++

"Mother and Child" by Henriette Brow...

“Mother and Child” by Henriette Browne; Wollstonecraft envisioned motherhood as a liberating role for women. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Francis Frangipane: A Special Word to the Women of God (soundofheavenblog.wordpress.com)
    When the Lord created humankind, He placed unique graces in man and separate but equally unique graces in woman. He told Adam to name the species of life on earth “and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name” (Genesis 2:19).
    +
    Within the genetics of this original man, there also existed the powerful, but dormant, qualities of the woman. While Adam slept the Spirit took from the man a rib. Fashioning it into a woman, the Lord created for Adam a companion. Not only was she suitable for him, but she powerfully expanded man’s creative capacities. Indeed, the woman brought many new graces into Adam’s world that did not formerly exist – the foremost of which was the power to conceive and give birth.
    +
    The term woman was a delineation used by Adam, identifying her as a unique variation in the species of man. My wife says, “Think of her as the upgrade.” In some ways, she is right, for the nature of the woman was twice refined. Adam was created of earth; the woman emerged not from the earth but from the man. She is both more complex and emotionally sophisticated.
    +
    Eve enlivened Adam in ways no other creature on earth could. Adam could build a house; Eve made it a home. When Adam named Eve “Life,” he was not only speaking prophetically of the first mother, but he was speaking out of his own experience: Eve brought life into the structure of Adam’s world.
  • Polygenism is Problematic – A Catholic Caution on another Aspect of Evolutionary Theory (adw.org)
    Polygenism is a theory of human origins positing that the human race descended from a pool of early human couples, indeterminate in number. Hence, this theory, Adam and Eve are merely symbols of Mankind. Rather than being an historical couple, they represent the human race as it emerges from the hominids that gave rise to them as they become homo sapiens, properly speaking.This is opposite to the idea of monogenism, which posits a single origin of humanity in Adam and Eve. In this understanding, Adam and Eve are historical figures who actually existed and from them alone the whole of the human race is descended.
  • Genesis 3:15 (biblebeastswheatweeds.com)
    More than 4,000 years after Jehovah’s original prophecy, the promised Seed appeared. It was Jesus. (Galatians 3:16) As a perfect man, Jesus kept his integrity to the death and thus proved that Satan’s accusations were lies. In addition, since Jesus was sinless, his death was a sacrifice of great value. By means of it, Jesus provided deliverance from sin and death for faithful descendants of Adam and Eve. Jesus’ death on the torture stake was the ‘bruising in the heel’ of the promised Seed.—Hebrews 9:11-14.
  • When Family Matters Most (r16sixteen.wordpress.com)
    He created a perpetual (until the return of the Savior) renewing of family. The family structure is important. It is a beautiful union of lives meant to love, care for and support one another. Without family suitable companionship cannot be found.
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    If companionship were suitable outside of marriage and the extension family, then God would not have needed to create the woman to be with the man. But God knew that man needed to be joined together in a companionship which leads to family.
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    The Home and Family
    We need to define our family as God’s word defines it.  We need to constantly be evaluating ourselves within a marriage to see if we are fulfilling our roles properly.  We need to be watchful for attacks against our home and family.  In fact, we need to be holding God’s word up to ourselves constantly as a father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, or whatever to see how we are measuring up and how we need to improve.
  • Roles of men and woman (knowandmakeknown.wordpress.com)
    Men and woman have equal but very different roles. Our culture has a skewed look on relationships and the gender roles within them. It has become common in our culture for the woman to be the leader or initiator. It is common for woman to try and manipulate situations to get a guy to like or pursue her. It is normal for woman to initiate contact with man first. It is common for men to get by with being lazy or coward. It is common for men to be aggressive and abusive. I so easily forget where I cam from, where mankind came from. In the Garden of Eden we see the roles of man and woman and the consequences of not fulfilling those roles.
  • We Are Equal. (cutedollars.wordpress.com)
    nowhere in all the creation accounts – from Biblical accounts to Greek stories of human creation to Charles Darwin’s theory of human evolution – was woman said to be inferior to the man.
    By Biblical accounts, when God created Adam and Eve, he made them one. Not one then half, but one as a whole, signifying equality.
    +
    To understand gender inequality and its inherent dangers, let’s take a look at the meaning of gender inequality.
    Gender inequality is the unequal treatment or discrimination of individuals based on their gender.
    The problems with gender inequality stem primarily from traditional gender role playing. Girls do house chores; boys do not cook; boys construct and build; girls internally decorate and beautify.
    +
    Psychological and financial dependence on others are the bedrock upon which domestic violence thrive. The importance of a career or means of livelihood for the woman, single or married, cannot be overemphasized.
  • Women Othered in Genesis (genderandsexualitycore.wordpress.com)
    though she was created to be “his partner” she is instructed that he is the superior human being, and that her “desire shall be for [her] husband, and he shall rule over [her]” (2:7-18; 3:16).
    +
    Eve can be construed as wiser than Adam for eating from the tree but it is also important to note that the default human being is male and that God is referred to throughout Genesis with male or gender neutral pronouns and never female pronouns. Most of the passages detailing genealogy focus on or only mention male names and Adam and Eve as a couple are often defined by the male in the relationship, referred to as “the man and his wife” rather than “the man and the woman” or “the woman and her husband.”
  • “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” -George Carlin (muggleinconverse.wordpress.com)
    UN Women’s new ad campaign came to my attention several days ago. It made me sick to my stomach, disappointed, sad, and angry. Let’s see how it makes you feel.
    +
    Centuries of religious and societal standards have told us that women are less than men. Women are starting to show up in leadership positions, but they still feel the sting of patriarchy.
    +
  • Urmila Home Manager – Dignifying Domestic Work (saath.wordpress.com)
    According to National Sample Survey Organization (NSSO), In 2009-10, estimated total number of domestic worker in India is around 2.52 million out of this 2/3 reside in urban areas and 57% of them are women. So in the last 10 years there is almost 75% increase in domestic workers mostly accounted for by women. Domestic work has historically been viewed as the realm of the woman with crucial household chores continuing to be either being unpaid (if performed by a household’s women) or underpaid (if outsourced to a domestic worker). Though Gujarat as a State is booming economically, the informal sector and amongst these, domestic work is still a sector where there is a lot of work that needs to be done. Their situation remains the same as for many across India – no bargaining power, no leave, no legal access, sexual harassment, over worked, and underpaid. Moreover there is no platform through which these women can come together to demand their rights.