Father and motherhood

Necessary population

Fatherhood/Motherhood

Fatherhood/Motherhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today many people may not be interested in having children and look down at those who take the time to have some children. Many forget that children represent the future generation. Without any children there will be no continuation of the people. With not enough children there will be not enough working people able to take care of the ones who can not work any more.

Respect, honour, and support for those who want to take care for the next generation is long gone. Although the modern world sends mixed messages about motherhood, the Bible affirms that children are a blessing from God and can be a source of happiness for parents.

 3 Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah;+ The fruitage of the belly is a reward.+ 4 Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man,*+So are the sons of youth.+ 5 Happy is the able-bodied man* that has filled+ his quiver with them. They will not be ashamed,+For they will speak with enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Yet, the Scriptures are not blind to the realities of motherhood. The Bible records many of its challenges.

Choices to encounter challenges

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from ...

Depiction of Adam and Eve being cast out from the Garden of Eden

Throughout history men and women had to make their own choices. They could go their own way. The Divine Creator Jehovah God, has given humankind the right to prove that they themselves can manage this world. To make the best out of their life they have to make the right choices.

At the beginning of times the Creator gave the task to the first human beings (Adam and Eve) to multiply themselves. They had to take on the role of father and mother and to bring up children. Their children in turn had to make the choice to follow the commandments of God and creating new life, or to stay on their own and continue their life like they choose themselves.

Whatever choice the human being made, it would have implementations on their own free time and on what they could do in the future. Nothing has changed.  As in the early times of men, today those who would like to have children, have to make decisions which shall change their life for ever.

The choice of being with child will be a irreversible choice in life. Choosing for parenting and motherhood have a deep and lasting influence on the life and character of themselves and their children. These decisions can bring large changes in the parents’ life-style, so they need to be made carefully. They include such questions as: Should a mother work outside the home? If yes, how much? Who is to care for the children while the mother is away working? In the end, parents must do what they believe is best for their children and also what is right before God.

Equal in the eyes of God

Man and woman are both created in the image of God and are both equal in the eyes of the Creator. Not one is better than the other. Both have to prove themselves and make themselves worthy to enter the Kingdom of God.

Our society does not like men nor women to be unproductive, and caring for children seems for them something which does not generate money for the society. the pressure from outside can make it very difficult for men and women to choose to have children and to stay at home to take care of them.

Not alone

However, mothers need not feel alone in the struggle to make wise decisions. They can take great comfort in the words of Isaiah 40:11, which indicates that God takes special interest in the needs of mothers with young babies, whom he “will conduct with care.” God manifests such keen interest by providing in the Bible a number of guidelines that can make motherhood enjoyable and successful.

11 Like a shepherd he will shepherd his own drove.+ With his arm he will collect together the lambs;+ and in his bosom he will carry [them].+ Those giving suck he will conduct [with care].+ (Isaiah 40:11)

10 They will not go hungry,+ neither will they go thirsty,+ nor will parching heat or sun strike them.+ For the One who is having pity* upon them will lead them,+ and by the springs of water he will conduct them.+ (Isaiah 49:10)

Someone to trust

Even those people who did at first did not want to know about God and His family, may trust the Creator that when they change direction and do want to leave this materialist world to foster a more spiritual world, God shall be willing to come to their help.

16 “The lost* one I shall search for,+ and the dispersed one I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen, but the fat one+ and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one* with judgment.”*+ (Ezekiel 34:16)

Loving incoming money

Today we can see lots of people who love the incoming money and who spend their time not on family matters but pure on leisure. Many grown fat, have become thick, have become gorged. Today we can see that many are defrauding the lowly ones and crushing the poor ones. The Bible warns us for those who wanted to go the path of money and material gain instead of spiritual gain.  Those who forsook God, who made them and despised the Rock of their salvation shall have to face, in the near future, the sword of God.

15 When Jesh′u·run*+ began to grow fat, then he kicked.*+ You have grown fat, you have become thick, you have become gorged.+ So he forsook God,* who made him,+ And despised the Rock*+ of his salvation. (Deuteronomy 32:15)

16 Therefore the [true] Lord,* Jehovah of armies, will keep sending upon his fat ones a wasting disease,+ and under his glory a burning will keep burning away like the burning of a fire.+ (Isaiah 10:16)

26 And I will make those maltreating you eat their own flesh; and as with the sweet wine they will become drunk with their own blood. And all flesh will have to know that I, Jehovah,+ am your Savior+ and your Repurchaser,+ the Powerful One of Jacob.”+ (Isaiah 49:26)

Needing care, love and ingenuity

Jehovah, the Only One God, knows that children are small, delicate and tender, and that they need the necessary care. Those who want to give that care, not for their own gain or lust, God is willing to help.

2 Shepherd+ the flock of God+ in YOUR care, not under compulsion,* but willingly;*+ neither for love of dishonest gain,+ but eagerly; (1 Peter 5:2)

God’s Word says that the person who “is guarding discernment is going to find good.”

8 He that is acquiring heart*+ is loving his own soul. He that is guarding discernment is going to find good.+ (Proverbs 19:8)

English: Children dancing, International Peace...

Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discernment is needed to sort through the unending range of leisure activities, gadgets, and trends that overwhelm mothers and children. Everywhere we are confronted with commercials. Constantly we are being bombarded with new products, better technology, and more services! Economic pressures takes a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.

We as Christians can take on the right attitude so that we can cope with those challenges. As a person we do have to determine what is essential and useful to ourself and to those we love. As parents we also should help our children to do the same thing.

Making the changes that are possible

When we are going to have children we should use common sense and sound judgement.

19 Jehovah himself in wisdom founded the earth.+ He solidly fixed the heavens in discernment.+ 20 By his knowledge the watery deeps* themselves were split apart,+ and the cloudy skies keep dripping down light rain.+ 21 My son, may they not get away from your eyes.+ Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability,+ 22 and they will prove to be life to your soul+ and charm to your throat.+ 23 In that case you will walk in security+ on your way, and even your foot will not strike against anything.+ 24 Whenever you lie down you will feel no dread;+ and you will certainly lie down, and your sleep must be pleasurable.+ 25 You will not need to be afraid of any sudden dreadful thing,+ nor of the storm upon the wicked ones, because it is coming.+ 26 For Jehovah himself will prove to be, in effect, your confidence,*+ and he will certainly keep your foot against capture.+ (Proverbs 3: 19-21-26)

If you are currently working outside the home, can your family live on just your husband’s income? To help answer this question, determine how much your actual take-home pay is after subtracting taxes, child care, commuting costs, wardrobe, meals out, and extras. Also, your husband’s income may be taxed at a higher rate if your combined income puts you in a higher income bracket. You may be surprised how little is left over.

Some work fewer hours or closer to home, which may mean less money but more time with the children. If you decide to stop working and if your job has been important to you for your self-worth and sense of accomplishment, think about how you can maintain these important elements while staying home.

Juggling act

Balancing work and home is not easy, but can be done. There are millions of working mothers and a few thousands of fathers who embraced the idea that ‘quality time’ with the children could partly make up for frequent absences — and who have found the idea wanting. Many mothers today say that juggling the stresses of work with the responsibilities of home leaves them overworked, overstrained, and underpaid.

Full-time mothers or full time fathers who stay at home to look after their children say that they have to endure being patronized and downgraded by a society geared to glorifying paid work. In some societies being a housewife is no longer considered an honourable position, so women are pressured to have their own career, even if the extra income is not necessary. To be a houseman is considered even more grave than a housewife by many.

Men escaping their duties

While a growing number of mothers work longer hours, fathers do not always compensate. The Sunday Times of London wrote:

“Britain is a nation of absent fathers, according to new research showing that men spend as little as 15 minutes a day with their children. . . . Many men do not take much pleasure in spending time with their families. . . . By comparison, the British professional mother will spend 90 minutes a day with her children.”

Some husbands complain that their wife finds it difficult to delegate tasks because she insists that everything be done exactly the way she is used to doing it. “Otherwise, you do it wrong,” the husbands say. Obviously, in order to benefit from the cooperation of her husband, a tired housewife may have to be willing to make some concessions as to the way certain household tasks are done. On the other hand, the husband should not use that argument as an excuse to do nothing.

Taking up fatherhood

David Blankenhorn, one of the founders of the National Fatherhood Initiative, which promotes responsible, committed fatherhood, noted that in a 1994 survey of 1,600 U.S. men, 50 percent said that their fathers were emotionally absent during their childhood. Many of today’s fathers do not want to see this pattern repeated.

Fathers who are actively involved with their children can be a wholesome influence. Referring to research published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Toronto Star said that when fathers eat meals with their children, go on outings with them, and help with homework, there are “fewer behaviour problems, higher levels of sociability and a higher level of school performance among children and adolescents.”

The foregoing highlights an arrangement for raising children that is as practical today as when first penned over three thousand years ago. The Originator of the family specifically instructed fathers to be actively involved in raising their children.

 14 On account of this I bend my knees+ to the Father,+ 15 to whom every family+ in heaven and on earth owes its name,+ 16 to the end that he may grant YOU according to the riches+ of his glory to be made mighty in the man YOU are inside+ with power through his spirit,+ 17 to have the Christ dwell through [YOUR] faith in YOUR hearts with* love;+ that YOU may be rooted+ and established on the foundation,+ 18 in order that YOU may be thoroughly able to grasp mentally+ with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth,+ 19 and to know the love of the Christ+ which surpasses knowledge, that YOU may be filled with all* the fullness+ that God gives. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

4 And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating* YOUR children,+ but go on bringing them up+ in the discipline+ and mental-regulating*+ of Jehovah.* (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers were counselled to inculcate a love for God in the hearts of their children and to speak to them of God’s regulations and commandments. God told them to do this ‘when they sat in their house and when they walked on the road and when they lay down and when they got up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Shared responsibility

Parenting is a shared responsibility. The Bible admonishes children: “Listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) The role of the father is vital. It includes supporting and respecting the mother and sharing in child-rearing tasks. It also requires spending time reading to and talking with the children. This fills a vital emotional need of children.

Unquestionably, the Bible is the most reliable source of counsel and sound principles for a well-adjusted family. A father who actively provides for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of his family is fulfilling his God-assigned responsibility.

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Find also to read:

  1. Parenthood made more difficult
  2. Having children interferes with work
  3. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  4. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  5. Gender Roles, What?
  6. Dignified role for the woman
  7. Gender roles and Multitasking parents
  8. Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now
  9. Avoiding the big questions
  10. I started off with the little things….
  11. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
  12. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
  13. Women Delivering Development: Reproductive Health, Environment and the Post-2015 Agenda
  14. European Parliament stands for human dignity
  15. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
  16. Don’t be the weakest link
  17. It Takes a Village
  18. Choices
  19. Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives
  20. For those who make other choices
  21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  22. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
  23. Thirst for happiness and meaning
  24. Remember there’s a light in the next day
  25. Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past
  26. The truest greatness lies in being kind
  27. Be happy that the thorn bush has roses
  28. Partakers of the sufferings
  29. Life and attitude of a Christian
  30. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator
  31. God helper and deliverer

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  • Letters To A Natalist World: Motherhood Is Not The Highest Paid Job In The World (childfreevoices.com)
    I know you want parenting to look as appealing as possible, but come on, who do you you think you’re fooling here?If being a parent is so great, then you shouldn’t have to lie about what it is to brag about it. These cutesy-wootsey, natalism-worshipping FaceBook share-fodder pictures with ridiculous captions have got to stop.
    +
    Rebecca Meyer wrote:
    It’s funny that people try to say we have kids so that we have something that will “love us unconditionally.” It’s not even accurate. Psychologically, children love Conditionally because they depend on the parent for food, water, shelter, and any other basic survival needs. Infants do not love a parent unconditionally (meaning even if the basic survival needs weren’t met). Unconditional love actually to me comes from relationships mostly not within the family because you don’t feel obligated to love the person like you feel when family members are concerned.
  • Motherhood!….Part 5 {Whither Womanhood} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    At every turn, motherhood praises are deafening! In songs, poetry and prose, motherhood is cast in gold and eulogized in every culture, race and creed! Little wonder the whole earth is referred to as “Mother Earth”!
    As things stand, motherhood seems to be rated above womanhood or regarded as the defining factor and crown of womanhood!
    In not-so-liberal cultures, barrenness or, not bearing the ‘right gender’ of children is considered the fault of the woman and enough grounds for dissolving a marriage or desecrating it with impunity!
    Many acclaimed preachers and religious teachers tell us that we are here to multiply, increase and fill the earth and where a middle-aged woman is not part of this multiplication equation, she is not fulfilling a Divine ordinance.
  • Motherhood!…….Part 4 {Children, Honor Fathers and Mothers} (purplerays.wordpress.com)
    Generally, mothers are accorded a great deal of love and respect, even above fathers! Maybe because they are one of the first voices and faces the child recognizes; the first teachers; the caring hands that rock the cradle and, as a reward, the hand that rocks the cradle gets the larger dose of love!
    Conventionally, daddy provides the comfort and balm but, it is mommy who solicitously applies them and gets noticed more! Cherishing dear mommy is usually the nurturing ground for love and other virtues!
    In religion, parent-honor is almost a form of worship! Virtually every religion carves a special top-notch niche for fathers and mothers. The Christian Scriptures encapsulates it all with the Commandment “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother”!
    However, the wrong interpretation of this Commandment has inadvertently worked untold hardship on many a child who struggles to obey it! How is a child to honor a father who has degenerated to a drunkard and drug addict; or a mother who through hot temper, loose tongue and lack of self-discipline torments the household?
    How can a child honor and revere parents who roundly abuse themselves and are frequently embroiled in violent quarrels?
    Unless the child is also contaminated, he/she can only pay lip-service and empty habitual respect to such parents. The impetus for pure love and heart-felt honor which streams from the soul is lacking! The child simply tags along in make-believe obedience!
  • God is Jehovah Shammah-God is There! (crosbyp12003.wordpress.com)
    Gods wants us to trust him with everything; hear that Everything. Sometimes we can get ahead of a God and think we have the answers. As new covenant believers God lives on the inside of us through the Holy Spirit. God is always with us. He does not turn his back on us to fend for ourselves . God wants to heal msny of us from a false view that he is a God ready to beat you down.
  • Motherhood (girlinterrupted28.wordpress.com)
    What makes a mother?This is a question I find myself asking much too often, practically on a daily basis.  Mostly because I wonder if I qualify.  If I am a mother.  When people ask how many children I have, when I have to fill out a form, when I watch friends struggling with their children or to create children at all…I ask myself.  Because I want to be a mother.  Because I was a mother.
  • Is there a “shortage” of single fathers? (dalrock.wordpress.com)
    Captain Capitalism found an article on eHarmony titled 15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom. The fifteen reasons boil down to various ways of stating that single moms are easy, they will mother you, and you get to have fun with kids.
    +
    there can be good reasons why a woman might find herself without the father of her children in the household, but the fact that he’s not around isn’t proof of her loyalty;  statistically speaking it is more likely than not an indication that she ejected the father from the home.  Aside from widows, it is at the very least a red flag which needs to be thoroughly vetted.
  • Motherhood In The Workplace: I Was Asked to Tone-Down the ‘Mommy Thing’ (tinystepsmommy.com)
    I decided to return to work after being home with AD for 20 months. My oldest AL was 8-years-old and my daughter B was only four-months-old. I was still nursing, yet I accepted a job in the corporate office of a franchise company to manage their communications. I wanted to give my “career” a chance. Looking back, I realize I was overwhelmed at home and suffering from a major case of the grass is always greener.
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    After our departmental meeting, my new boss pulled me aside and “suggested” that I don’t lead with the “mommy thing.” I was stunned and insulted and embarrassed. I figured she knew what she was talking about. I hadn’t worked in the private sector before. My experience was with not-for-profit organizations, trade associations, or at a newspaper. Again, I ignored my instincts.
  • Optional Parenthood (ordinarybutloud.wordpress.com)
    One of my mother friends finds it strange that out of my handful of closest friends in the world (and she is included on the list) two of them are childless. She thinks it’s strange because a) I’m so devoted to my own parenting; b) my life is seemingly arranged to facilitate parenthood; c) most of the friendships she’s made or maintained have come through her kids and the parents of her kids’ friends. It bears mentioning that this friend is someone I met years and years ago, before either of us had children. It’s not as if we became friends because we are both parents. We were already friends and then we became parents.
  • The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (childledchaos.me.uk)
    My mum first became a mother in the early 1960s. She was 20 when she got married, and a month over 21 when my eldest brother arrived. By her 24th birthday she had three sons, all under three.
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    Modern motherhood (and modern parenthood) is so far removed from five decades ago, it really is like comparing chalk and cheese. I can’t imagine how women (and it was almost exclusively women) in the 1960s juggled childcare and housework, let alone adding paid work into the mix.I was a decade older than my mother had been when I had my first child, and had a degree and a career (of sorts) behind me. I was made redundant when I was three months pregnant with our first child, and I applied for work after she was born. I therefore became the default primary carer.

    I ‘returned to work’ when my baby was five months old and, as I didn’t breastfeed, this was easy. I had three days a week paid work, leaving four days to concentrate on motherhood, and pretended that it was just perfect that I had the benefits of both work and home. How jolly!

    How untrue! Working part-time (or full-time) and being a full-time parent (because if you’re a parent, you are a full-time parent, especially when you’re the primary carer) doesn’t give you the benefits of both; it gives you the downsides of both. Multiplied.

  • Motherhood= Amazing (arichter0723.wordpress.com)
    Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mommy. I had many baby dolls and would take care of them as if they were my own.  I would pay attention to my mother and what she did for me, so I could be a better mommy to my “babies.” I would read to them, take them on car trips, and put them to bed right next to me. My babies were my everything.

Gender roles and Multitasking parents

Women and/or men who choose to remain at home to look after their children face a torrent of prejudice.

Motherism or fatherism

Dr Aric Sigman, at a conference convened by Mothers At Home Matter warned of the rise of “motherism”; a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, but for the same matter he could also have spoken about the stay-at-home fathers.
The “motherism” he is talking about could as well be called “fatherism” which is as dangerous for the men as the “motherism” is for the women. Both puts women and men off being stay-at-home parents, which is the developmental ideal in the present society.

There is not only a prejudice against stay-at-home mothers, also fathers who decide to spend some time off work to have more time with the kids are scammed.

writes:

There is a presentation of women who look after their own children full time as air-headed, spoilt and dowdy. However, there is also a prejudice against women who look after their children but aren’t dowdy (yummy mummies); women who go back to work after having had children; women who stay out of work but also employ nannies; women who work part-time and look after their children the rest of the time.

Wanting to stay home

How many mom’s would like to be stay at home Mom’s and how many Dad would like the be stay at home Dad, wonders Colleen Fassler of  Mom Wife Family Health Life.

In Belgium that answer would be clear: No body would dare to say they would like to stay at home to take care of the kids. The few who say that they would prefer to stay at home are looked at and considered to be the weaker elements of this society.

Our youngsters will have to work already until 67 before they can retire, but will only receive retirement allotment for the days they really worked to earn money, over their full career. The kids brought up in a one child family did not learn to share and do not want to share much with others. Many of them do not even find a reason why to marry when it is easier and with no strings, just to enjoy sex without any commitments.

SDT-2013-05-fertility-education-01The after babyboom generation with other aims

From the previous articles you can make up that today moms are different from those of the baby boom generation. They are not only more likely to have gone to university, they also want to realize their assets. To convert their knowledge into cash they are more likely to work full-time, less likely to have more than two children, and less likely to be married than previous generations.

In the United States, Pew Social Trends revealed that, from 2008 to 2011, the number of new mothers (women between the ages of 15 and 44 who have given birth in the past 12 months) with less than a high school diploma declined 17%, and the number with only a high school diploma went down 15%. By contrast, the number of new mothers with some college education fell by 6%, and the number with a bachelor’s degree or more fell by just 1%.

Marital status depending upon educational attainment

Although less educated women are a shrinking share of all new mothers, less educated women still have a higher average number of births throughout their lifetime than more educated women. By the end of their childbearing years, women without a high school diploma have on average 2.5 children, and women with a bachelor’s degree have about 1.7. This gap has closed only slightly over the past 25 years.

There are significant differences in the marital status of new mothers depending upon their educational attainment. While about six-in-ten (61% in 2011) women with less than a high school diploma are unmarried when they give birth, this share declines to only 9% among women with at least a bachelor’s degree. {Record Share of New Mothers are College Educated}

Experts have identified a strong linkage between child well-being and maternal education levels. On average, a mother with more education is more likely to deliver a baby at term and more likely to have a baby with a healthy birth weight. As they grow up, children with more educated mothers tend to have better cognitive skills and higher academic achievement than others. It is difficult to determine whether maternal education is causing some of these outcomes, or if it is serving as a proxy for some other causal factor (for example, economic well-being). What is irrefutable, though, is that on average the more education a woman has, the better off her children will be.

Working as hard as ever, but not at home

Moms are working as hard as ever — but they’re spending more time in offices than at home; as a result, moms and dads are more similar now than ever. For most of the 20th century (and before), parents specialized. Dad worked for money. Mom worked at home. But as female education increased — and mid-century technology made housework less time-intensive — moms and dads became less specialized. More moms worked more for money. More dads worked more at home.

At the moment we still may find many families where mothers are much more likely to do the “dirty work” of child care while fathers are more likely to spend a greater share of their time playing with kids or doing home maintenance, like mowing the lawn. But it’s a closing gap, whereby we have developed to a society where the household jobs are considered the ‘dirty jobs’ or jobs to be done by the uneducated and not useful persons. Being a mother or a father, staying at home is by many considered as profiting of the society and not done.

Social media fakes

Illustration of Facebook mobile interface

Illustration of Facebook mobile interface (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today it is just not done to become a parent or not to be able to show off with all the material wealth we can get today. Instead of spending time to create a real family people prefer to have a virtual circle of friends on Facebook. On Facebook a nice world is presented where the lives are consistently full of happy and wholesome family outings, when there are kids in the house, but mostly it are kidless photo-shoots of far away places with ever changing girlfriends or men.

Allison Hart, who says she loves her children, and who has also learned that motherhood is a series of shocks and disappointments, disgusting things under her fingernails, horrifying smells and constant irritation, writes:

In between those smiling moments are thousands of other moments which go undocumented on Facebook.

We all want to share our best moments. We all want that person we knew 22 years ago and haven’t seen since to think that we are living the life. We aren’t bored. We haven’t watched 13 hours of TV today. Our kids are as charming as they are cute so I’m never, ever jealous of your child-free globe-trotting life. The world can wait! Right now I’m doing the most important and fulfilling job a person can. Oh, and that one picture of me that I’ve posted within the last three years? That old thing? Gosh, I think the kids must have snapped that one while I was composting our garden. Yes I do that in silk and heels. Duh.

Preferring not to tell

Many mothers and fathers dare not to to say the things that most mothers and fathers have thought, but few have had the courage to admit. Telling others to chose for motherhood or fatherhood is like throwing oneself in front of the lions or facing the jaws.

The ones still daring to become a mother would like to become hyperefficient, which makes them only to fail in their made up world. They suddenly want to do everything at once. Some may learn to delegate, prioritize, negotiate and, when necessary, take the wrong choice to give up seeing friends, hoping to get themselves more time with their partner — hardest of all — sleep.

In one survey  posted for working parents, 88% of the nearly 500 respondents said they had suffered stress-related health problems (like anxiety and depression) since having kids and going back to work. One woman told her that at the peak of her working-mom stress, she started having seizures at night.

Most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels

Alcorn writes:

Studies like “The Three Faces of Work-Family Conflict” explain that America may be the most hostile country in the developed world for working parents of all income levels. Low-wage workers contend with rigid schedules, no paid time off and a lack of affordable child care, while professionals are often expected to work grueling hours and travel for business. Although we experience the problem in different ways, the result is the same: chronic stress.

To be sure, this is not only a women’s problem. As men become more involved at home, studies show that they too are struggling with work-family conflict. And often they work longer hours than women do. But mothers still do more housework and child care, even when both parents work. Mothers multitask more than fathers and enjoy less leisure time than fathers. And mothers experience more guilt about working full time than fathers do.

It makes sense, then, that women are more at risk for the health effects of stress. We are 60% more likely to suffer an anxiety disorder and 70% more likely to suffer from depression than men. Women may be four times as likely as men to suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome. Women are also more likely to suffer from eating disorders, sleep problems and substance abuse as a result of workplace stress.

Showbizz kids

Natalie Portman encounters the Berlinale audie...

Natalie Portman encounters the Berlinale audience and media (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jerusalem-born 32 years old Natalie Portman revealed that she loves being a mother and has learned to be less judgmental in the years following the birth of her son Aleph, two. She had to accept that parenting is an individual endeavour with no real rules of engagement.

‘I love being a mum,’ Portman said. ‘I’m less judgmental than before I had a kid. The biggest thing about parenting is that it is a totally different experience for every person.

‘Everything is cool, there are no rules – I mean, apart from not hurting your kid. Some people breastfeed until their babies are five, and some don’t breastfeed at all.

Showbizz people do not mind letting the world know they want some time to spend with their children. From those actors and actress it is accepted they may take sometime for their children. People are willing to give them some basic support to meet their competing obligations. But for ordinary folks the competitive world have created an impossible situation.

Young having to take care of the older ones

Our society if it is going to have enough young people to work for the payment of elderly their retirement and the non-active population, shall have to review her stance against married couples, parents and parenting.

We do not claim that it is better that women don’t work. They do have to play their role as well as the men and should be able to share the same duties. that means that men also should become equal to the women, and should also have to do tasks people considered a few years ago only for women, now also to be done by men.

Equality of gender a coin with three sides

The equality of gender should go both ways. the population has to give everybody the right to make their own choice about work and leisure? Everybody should be allowed to choose how much time to spend at a job and what to do in the unpaid sector, be it voluntary work or household work.

says:

  • we can’t keep going at this pace. We need more fathers to share the work of raising a family (which means, for many men, working less).
  • We need employers to offer options like telecommuting, flexible scheduling and better part-time jobs to protect all workers from burning out.
  • We need better government policies: things like paid sick leave and paid parental leave, something every developed country in the world except the U.S. offers its citizens.

The bottom line is this: we have to stop making mothers choose between financial stability and their own health.

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Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl

Young Woman Mother with Daughter Girl (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Preceding articles:

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

Having children interferes with work

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now

Gender Roles, What?

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Please do also find to read:

  1. Parenthood made more difficult
  2. Gender equality and women’s rights in the post-2015 agenda
  3. Do stay-at-home mothers upset you? You may be a motherist
  4. Motherhood Gave Me a Nervous Breakdown
  5. Avoiding the big questions
  6. How Motherhood Is Changing Dramatically—in 11 Graphs
  7. I want to get paid for changing diapers, but i don’t want to run a day care
  8. I started off with the little things….
  9. I’m not a Mooch

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  • College Education – Talking It Out With Your Folks (degreesinusa.wordpress.com)
    the rising costs of getting college education can be daunting for some parents to bear. If your parents were not able to save for the day you have to go to college then it will be all bad news. That is why before you set your sights on getting post-secondary education, it is best to consult your parents about your decision. Here are some great tips that you can use in order to convince your parents that getting a college education can immensely make your life better.
  • No more apologies (inadifferentvoice.co.uk)
    Instead of being able to identify with any positive model of what I’m currently doing with my life, I frequently feel obliged to delineate all of the things I am Not. Granted, in small stages, and in comparison to the enormous inequalities of the world, these niggles are a drop in the ocean. I move on with my colossal buggy to face the tuts of another innocent childless pedestrian. It is only when I stop and consider the bigger picture, or talk to other parents, that I find that it is the experience itself which is mind-numbingly pedestrian. To be a SAHM mum is to be a disparaged vacuum.
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    I find perspective in unexpected places; conversations with older women for example who have highlighted that in their day it was the working mums who faced approbrium (thanks Norma), or from men who want to be more involved but feel childcare is still left in a box reserved for women.
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    Feminists are fairly agreed in their critique of the 1950’s housewife model (despite that many women couldn’t afford not to work anyway), yet it seems to have swept over the fact that despite six decades of development, much of the actual work of the SAHM remains unchanged. I cook, bake, organise activities, tend to children, shop and clean (for visitors, sometimes). I do many housewifey things. But when I look to feminism for positive reinforcement of that, I often feel there’s just a dark swirl of snarky remarks, lack of understanding, and an image of Audrey Hepburn in a flowery frock, shrugging vacantly.
  • The rise of ‘Motherism’ – prejudice against stay-at-home mums (telegraph.co.uk)

    Dr Sigman, a fellow of the Society of Biology and associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, has argued in the past that evidence about the long-term effects of sending very young children to full-time day care is being ignored because of a political and economic agenda.

    Addressing a conference organised by the Mothers At Home Matter group, he said that evidence from biosciences showed that mothers provided “unrivalled benefits” to young children that other people, including fathers, cannot.
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    Many working families see “full time” parenting as a luxury enjoyed only by those wealthy enough to live on one wage or those on benefits.

    Dr Sigman, who has four children, said that the derogatory attitudes towards stay-at-home mothers appeared to be the result of a mix of political and economic agendas.

    “I suppose the older feminism, liberal-Left feminism, has ended up a strange bedfellow with Right-wing capitalism.”

  • Comment: In pursuit of gender equality and work-life balance (sbs.com.au)
    Sociologists have spent decades looking at work-family conflict and the stress associated with combining work and family roles. The bulk of the research identifies which individuals report the most work-family conflict. Not surprisingly, they find that women, professionals, people who work longer hours and people with greater workplace flexibility are more likely to say family conflicts with work.This research, of course, validates many of our experiences. Yes, there is gender inequality. Yes, people in professional positions struggle with balancing work and family roles. Yes, your boss can hear your toddler harassing the kitty while you are on the phone. And, yes, these are real problems that deserve real solutions.
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    in the most gender-equal societies, such as Sweden, Norway and Finland, this pattern changes. Fathers in these countries are the most likely to report family interferes with their work life than are mothers or individuals without children.So what gives? Why are Swedish dads having such a hard time? We suspect that Swedish men may not be able to opt-out of childcare responsibilities while at work like men in lower gender-equality countries because they have an institutional structure that encourages gender equality.
  • “Superwoman: Can Today’s Women Have It All?” (katelynbudroe.wordpress.com)
    The history of women working outside the home began when women entered the workforce during WWII. Men went to war and vacated jobs which required a labor force. In a world where the average housewife did not work outside the home a marketing campaign ensued. The U.S. government lured women with the iconic symbol of “Rosie the Riveter” with the underlying message that it was their patriotic duty to work. After the war when men returned to their jobs there was a new social shift in America and a new generation of women. America had to contend with a new playing field as women’s outlooks and attitudes toward work were born.
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    In real life there are far too few women among the highest ranks of the professions, and millions of everyday women struggle to make ends meet and to juggle work and family.
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    The increase of women working outside the home has caused an increase in divorce rates. During the recession when many men lost their jobs, women were able to find work quicker than men. This is usually attributed because men could not find jobs that paid them the same salaries as they had before they lost their jobs and women were filling jobs at lower wages. The realization by women that she can be a good provider may be an indication that a working wife will choose divorce over and unsatisfactory marriage. But the reverse is equally probable. Financial problems cause tension and often play a key role in ending a marriage. The lack of two incomes forces men to stay home and sometimes causes a rift in a marriage as the gender roles are reversed and men feel less competent and is no longer the provider. For married women it is difficult to maintain a happy marriage as she becomes the primary breadwinner and more independent.
  • Why “Working Mother” Is A Redundant Term, Part 2 (sarahsiders.com)
    When one of my best friends, someone who vigilantly linked arms with me in our efforts to empower women, decided to leave the workforce and stay home, we both had some philosophical wrestling to do.
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    Being a stay-at-home parent sounded impossible. In fact, my day job felt like an escape. I got to run off into my area of competency all day, got to look knowledgeable and pretend to be “the expert”, with opportunities for acknowledgement for all my contributions.
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    So back to the “working mother” business. This term has got to go. It not so subtly implies that stay-at-home moms like my friend aren’t working, that they are just sitting there catching up on 30 Rock episodes while their Roomba vacuums and a nanny totes the children about to various activities. Hardly.
  • Why Gender Equality Is Not Just About Equal Rights (theage.com.au)
    According to a newly released report from the World Economic Forum [pdf], Iceland is the No. 1 country in the world for gender equality, for the fifth year in a row. And that equality is helping propel Iceland and its fellow Nordic nations to new economic heights. Turns out, the smaller the gender gap, the more economically competitive the nation. Even when that nation is totally freezing.
  • Motherless Mom. (tdawneightyone.wordpress.com)
    For me, there are no words available that will allow me to convey what it is like to be a motherless daughter.  It means something different at every stage in my life.  Hope Edelman wrote in her book “Motherless Daughters” about wanting to shout to everyone that her mom died because it sums up so much of who she is and I get that. The only thing that has impacted me greater than losing my mom at the age of 15 has been becoming a mom myself.
  • Breastfeeding support for mom (utsandiego.com)

    Breastfeeding. Women have been doing it since the beginning of human history, though the practice has gone in and out of vogue many times since then. For some women, it’s harder now than ever to take on the task.

    “There is definitely a very clear understanding in our society … that breastfeeding is absolutely best for babies and mothers,” said Diana West, media relations director for La Leche League International, a mother-to-mother breastfeeding support organization that formed in the 1950s.“The problem is mothers understand that intellectually but then the baby is born and they have difficulty.”

  • Lessons in Feminism, From my Father. (thisclimbingbean.wordpress.com)
    It was the mid-80s. We were Anglican Church-goers, and the idea of women in the priesthood was not new, but it was by no means widely accepted, especially not in our small West Australian diocese. My father was a deacon by then, having assisted as a lay person during services for some time. But even though women did help in the service occasionally, and were involved in other areas of the church family, they were not in leading roles.Yet my father didn’t go into any of this. He simply told me that if I wanted to be a priest, then I could. By the time I was grown up, he suggested, there might be lots of women who were priests.
    +
    once he had showed me that the world could certainly use more strong women, and that I could be one of them, he would turn this around on me. I’d bring home a report, I’d do well in a competition, and he would shrug, then say, eyes twinkling, ‘Yeah, it’s alright I guess. For A Girl.‘Because he could throw that line at me now, knowing that I got the joke. It’s not that others had moved beyond that attitude, that prejudice. It still existed. It still does. But it was his way of pushing me, and of praising me without having to say the words.

Don’t be the weakest link

After the children boom the world has become so egocentric it chooses to have an other chain than before World War II.
The family became not any more in the first place, but the gain of money became prime priority. After enriching themselves the western world came confronted by more than one financial crisis and got in a deep well. Now people have to work with more than one to be able to survive. Children in the family are now seen as an extra cost better to be avoided.

Those who believe in God and His Plan, should remember their task given in the Garden of Eden and later renewed by the son of God.
We should rethink how we want to live and what to do with ourselves, future generations, education and the use of our environment.
We also should check which material we want to use to build up our necklace. Each of us has to make the right choice willing to be a good part of the chain, which can hold humanity together. We ourselves can make a weak or strong link, but should strive to be the better link, having openings for other chains to join.

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In If life was a manuscript… the writer says:

Habit deals with progressive and consistent action that is designed to build in you the discipline needed to succeed whatever your ambitions may be. The main point behind habitually performing progressive daily actions however small is that it cultivates a mindset that respects small beginnings and a willingness to try. Think of how even the great Usain Bolt was a baby learning to walk long before he became the fastest man in history.

English: Usain Bolt at the World Championship ...

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Craft encompasses a willingness to learn. Craft is what directs your habits and builds on your voice. Craft is the acquired knowledge and understanding needed to exploit your voice. A lot of people are interested in doing something special, to change the world or live an interesting life, but few are dedicated to these ends. A demonstration of dedication is the amount of time one devotes to acquiring knowledge in their area of interest. Education is meant to open one’s mind to the beauties of universal knowledge and lead to a path of continuous learning – a means to an eternal end and yet people have mistaken education to be an end in itself.

 

In What’s your score? Setting goals that work for you he continues:

Life by its very nature is a series of goal-achieving processes that have a cumulative effect on our entire existence. From the moment we are conceived, nature initiates a series of life stages required to help us build the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual maturity needed to live up to the demands of adult responsibility. In an ideal world, these life stages should occur smoothly in a way that rightly equips us for life. Sadly, most people even in adulthood do not have a solid foundation for life and are left to live lives based on correcting one mistake after another.
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The three elements -habit, voice and craft – help with goal setting because they help you create a rhythm for your life.

 

The celebrated writer Christopher Hitchens once made an interesting addition to the famous saying, “everyone has a book inside them”.

Christopher Hitchens

His addition was as follows,

“everyone has a book inside them, which is exactly [where], it should in most cases, remain”.

Than Moonga Mkandawire, the founder and Managing Director of ES Capital Partners and a self-taught musician and composer refers to Hitchens his rather cynical remark here because its humour masks a truth that applies to life in general, which is the value of perseverance during hardship.

Should yours happen to be the book that others believe is best kept inside and yet you are moved by a compulsion to write that will not let you go, the following elements of writing might come in handy no matter what anyone else says about you.

In the previous articles about fatherhood, stay-at-home dads and stay-at-home moms we told you that we do have to make choices in our life. Each of us has the free choice either to go with this world and continue in the direction the contemporary world wanted to evolve or to change direction. Each of us can choose the road which they would consider best for them. Depending on those who decide to take other roads, the world can turn around. We can make a difference, if we stop looking at those beyond our reach, and do put our priorities right, we can show other where our soul is. We also do have the free choice to choose those with whom we want to associate and work with. As a Christian such choices are very important, not only for ourselves, but also for the next generation.

 

°°°

Fathers do one of three things: they perpetuate a cycle or they break a cycle or they start a cycle.

Our craft is how we shape our skills-set and acquire the knowledge needed to carry out our task.

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Find also:

  1. I’m not a Mooch
  2. Dignified role for the woman
  3. A learning process for each of us
  4. Determine the drive
  5. Be a ready giver
  6. Casual Christians
  7. Fear of God reason to return to Holy Scriptures

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  • The Weakest Link (upstraight.wordpress.com)
    I’m pretty sure you’ve heard it said that the home is the basic unit of a society. This is true, as human beings make up a society and every human being is a member of a family, at the very least, he/she has a father and a mother (whether or not he knows who they are), otherwise he wouldn’t exist.Now, you most likely have heard the phrase/proverb “a chain is only as strong as its weakest link”. This proverb has …well a very literal origin. A chain is made from several pieces of metal or iron, usually ovally shaped, linked together. The strength of the chain to bind or pull or lift whatever you want, literarily depends on the weakest link, because if the load you want to lift, for instance, is too heavy for the weakest link, it will give way, and the load will come tumbling down.Interestingly, this principle applies to …virtually everything. The success or failure of an endeavor is tied to the weakest link, which may be a person or a technicality. If the weakest link is strong enough to see the endeavour through, we have a success. If it is not, we have a failed situation.
  • About Christopher Hitchens….. (atheistfallacies.wordpress.com)
    There is no way to use science to make a positive rational assertion for why human beings should have inalienable rights, likewise there is no way to us evolution to do the same.  In fact it is quite possible to use both to do the opposite.  The only way that you can make a positive rational assertion for why human beings should have inalienable rights is if you posit god in some form.  You have to assume some authority some universal law to which all people are beholding and then you can have human rights. {About Christopher Hitchens…..}
  • Christopher Hitchens Remembered (oldroadapples.wordpress.com)
    “The life and career of award-winning journalist Christopher Hitchens is chronicled in this video collection. Hitchens, in his singular voice, reports and reflects on cultural trends, political events, and the forces that define our Age.”
  • You Are The Weakest Link; Goodbye. (christopherryandueck.wordpress.com)
    The paradox that arises is that to be a truly selfless notion it should not conjure feelings of jealousy or contempt.
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    If I give myself a break and believe in my abilities and still joyfully stay back to allow others to succeed, that would be selfless. I know that I am good at my job, good at guitar, decent at writing, but I am Terrified of the implications if I admit it.
  • The weakest link (guiltyoverdose.wordpress.com)
    ever gazed at the sky and wondered if your’e a consistent person in the sense that do you portray the same image with all people no matter what they resemble to you , do you change your personality in order to accommodate with the group or individual that your’e interacting with. I think of it all the time , I like to retrace my day in my head go through the main events , sit alone and think what if I did something  in a different way how would it have affected me and then I remember that I’ve always been like that.
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    the next time you gaze in the stars or wander off in your thoughts don’t think what would’ve happened  instead make it happen.
  • “You Are Only As Strong As Your Weakest Link” (rsdstakeholders.org)
    We are all familiar with the saying; “you are only as strong as your weakest link”, but do we really know what it means?
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    In a previous blog, two Rockwood parents shared their varied experiences.  One of those parents goes on to share what they feel needs to be done to strengthen a weak link in our community district.
  • How Jeff Goins Went From 50 Blog Readers To 100,000 (sebastianmarshall.com)
    I found the paradox is, if you want to be happy and have a purpose-filled life, you actually need to do the opposite of what you’re inclined to do. Instead of get, give. Instead of trying to accumulate more, do something for yourself. Do the opposite. At least, try it as an experiment. If you’re constantly trying to strive for more, what if the point was the opposite? Fill the opposite, fix the brokenness. What if the design is that we shouldn’t live independent of others, but rather giving and helping others who are in need?
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    Why are people self-centered? I don’t know. The goal of philosophy and religion is often to answer that question. I’m more interested in the solution.Nobody likes this about themselves, being so selfish, but they think it’s the only way to survive. I think a better solution to filling that hole is give, be generous, empty yourself rather than trying to fill the hole.Everyone who has ever been in love, who has ever been a part of a cause bigger than themselves, then they’ve already felt this. It’s not a call to altruism, it’s confirming what you’ve felt — that you can work towards a larger whole.
  • Retired Navy Seal, Marcus Luttrell, Talks About Persistance (freeemployeenewsletter.com)
    The keynote speaker was Marcus Luttrell, #1 national best-selling author of Lone Survivor and retired Navy Seal from Operation Red Wing in Afghanistan in 2005. His purpose was to give the audience a perspective on a truly bad day and how a person can overcome anything.
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    “No matter how many times I got hit, I just kept getting back up. I never stopped. Don’t every quit for anything.”
  • I’m not a Mooch (steppingtoes.wordpress.com)
  • Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now (steppingtoes.wordpress.com)

32 lyrics

chainEvery person’s life is a link in a chain. From our families to the communities that hold our societies together, we form a perpetual link that holds humanity together. Whether our families and communities succeed or fail depends on the quality of decisions made by the individual members; a chain is only as strong as its weakest link goes the old adage.

But what makes a decision good or bad? Surely individual experiences are so diverse that a general rule for good or bad decisions cannot apply across humanity? Rest assured that this is not what I wish to establish in this article. What I want to share is an observation that was brought to my attention at the inaugural Cornerstone Men’s Conference by the keynote speaker, Bishop Simon Peter. Speaking on fatherhood, he said that fathers do one of three things: they perpetuate a cycle or they break…

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Avoiding the big questions

English: Hunt Memorial Library, Nashua, New Ha...

Hunt Memorial Library, Nashua, New Hampshire. Designed by Ralph Adams Cram, it opened in 1903. A new library was completed in 1970, after which the Hunt building housed offices for the Nashua School Department until 1991. Following an extensive restoration, it is used today for public, private and corporate functions. Photograph by Gary McGath, May 30, 2006. Uploaded by the photographer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just want to share this other reaction a man can get when he chooses to be a stay-at-home dad, which shows how far we still have to go to get a right attitude for brining up children.

 

From this posting of  a ‘Stay at Home Dad’ from Nashua who got a new admiration for people who can handle more than one child, him having a hard enough time with just one, we can see that certain subjects also are still bounded and perhaps stay connected with certain genders. Not all men or women do have an interest in being a technician. When technical aspects has to be taught, it should be important that the person teaching it has also full interest in it. Also for more spiritual aspects the requirements are that the person involved in teaching it should have a close feeling to the subject. When a person does not love the subject he or she is not the right person to teach about it.

Perfecting Motherhood  wrote:

My kids and 5 and 7 and don’t know anything about female or male connectors, or really how the birds and the bees work, except that there are two seeds that get combined in the mother’s womb. So far, they haven’t really insisted on knowing how the seeds get there…

Today the staying at home for one of the parents is mostly a financial problem. This can be seen on several postings on the net.

Is there any change in the air? A report by the Council of Contemporary Families found American men do more housework and childcare than men in any of the other four developed countries surveyed (France, Italy, Germany and Japan). Europe likes so much going behind the US, how about that housework? Though we in Belgium do have the impression men are doing far better than in the US taking up their role with love and guts.

English: demonstration for parental leave in t...

Demonstration for parental leave in the European Parliament Nederlands: Demonstratie voor vaderschapsverlof in het Europees Parlement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

  • Why Mums Shouldn’t Work and There Should Be NO SaHDs (modernfatheronline.com)
    Is there some big conspiracy where all the men get together and say that women should not be allowed to make as much money as them, or have the top jobs like them?
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    You need to quit your job so that the stay-at-home-dads who are having trouble finding like minded parents (yes, that’s either mums or dads, but mostly mums as they dominate the landscape, remember?) can go back to work and work instead of staying home looking after and raising their kids.
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    Just for the record, if finances permitted, I would be a stay-at-home-dad in a heart beat.
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    Shane Francescut wrote:

    I took parental leave last year with our second son and loved every minute of it. I think every dad should spend some quality time with their kids in the early years. Love the hat. In often wearing my son’s Spider Man backpack on the walls home from daycare.

     

  • I’m a stay-at-home dad but I’m unloved by my partner. What can I do? (metro.co.uk)
    I met my partner 13 years ago and we never planned to have children as I had a vasectomy. But, at 39, she wanted a baby so we used a sperm donor. Our baby is healthy and a joy. My partner, who works very hard, is now pregnant by another donor. I am a stay-at-home dad but I’m lonely – rejected and unloved by my partner. I feel unable to cope and am dreading the impending second birth. I want to improve our relationship but am lost as to what I can do and have intermittent suicidal thoughts. What can I do?
  • REPOST: Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads (candidreflectionsofadad.wordpress.com)
    Are you feeling insecure because of your status as a “stay-at-home” dad? It’s time to change your mind by reading this insightful article from CareerPath.com. > Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads
    “For us, the decision was a no-brainer,” says Andrew Krill who stays home with his twin boys, while his wife, a retail executive, commutes to work each day. “My wife’s earning capacity is far greater than mine, and we both think it’s important to have a parent at home.

    “When it comes to bread-winning, I’ve taken a support role, so that my wife can excel in her career,” adds Krill, who formerly worked in the retail industry and as a bond salesman. “Yet I also recognize my duty to lead our family…and I do, both financially (by handling all bills and investments) and spiritually.”

  • Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now (n3wbeginnings11.wordpress.com)
    A friend’s dad, visiting from the UK, told me he thought that women made better stay-at-home parents.  This was within the context of my friend, his son, taking 6 weeks off in-between jobs, and going on and on about how great he would be at stay-at-home-dad-ness.  His father didn’t agree.
  • Stay-at-Home Dads Get a Crash Course in Family Finances (and Guilt) (dailyfinance.com)
    A recent study by Pew Research details the trend: In 15 percent of all households of married adults with children under the age of 18, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinner. That’s up from 4 percent back in 1960, and accounts for 5.1 million married mothers who have higher incomes than their husbands.

    Stay-at-home dads face many of the economic challenges and concerns as stay-at-home moms — how transitioning from two salaries to one will impact their family, if the time at home might hinder a return to the job force, and whether new roles will cause resentment. But stay-at-home dads often face cultural stigmas about what it means to be a man in America, and what price tag that role should carry.

  • What do Stay At Home Mums do all day?! (apocketfuloftime.wordpress.com)
    I know there are a lot of Stay At Home Dads out there too. I have written this from my point of view as a mum and therefore haven’t used inclusive language throughout. Kudos to all the SAHDs out there.

    While I was pregnant with my first baby and still teaching, I remember talking to a couple of colleagues who were both dads, and saying how I was looking forward to a “break from working” when I went on maternity leave.  They had a good chuckle to themselves and warned me it wouldn’t be much of a break.
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    I remember wondering myself what Stay at Home Mums did all day before I became one.  What would I do with all that free time I would have?  I had visions of studying by correspondence, maybe learning French or doing a Masters in Teaching. In actual fact having my first baby was merely a challenge because I had to get used to life revolving around my little person.  This included breast-feeding round the clock, changing nappy upon nappy, and walking baby to sleep in the pram.  Many a cup of tea went cold and many a shower was abandoned as I ran to pick up my crying baby.  Until he slept through the night, any spare time was for rest, sleeping and, if in dire need, housework.

     

  • Peter Andre to put career on hold? (contactmusic.com)

    Peter Andre is considering putting his career on hold.

    The ‘Mysterious Girl’ singer is deliberating being a stay-at-home dad after his girlfriend Emily MacDonagh gives birth to their first baby together early next year, so she can continue to become a doctor.

    A source told Closer magazine: ”Pete’s made it clear Emily and the baby are his priority. He wants Emily to fulfil her dreams of becoming a doctor and has been saying he’s happy about being a stay-at-home dad. He’s even joked at how good he is at changing the nappies and burping.

     

Mr. C's Dad

‘ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!’

A friend of mine and his five year old son came over for a visit  when I had the above reaction to something this fellow Dad said.   For consistency, I’ll call the five year old Mr. H.

Mr. C and Mr. H were playing with a set of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, which go along with a set of wooden railway pieces which fit together to form any number of railway configurations.   Straight pieces, curved pieces, Y shapes, X shapes.  Kids can come up with their own rail yards by fitting together the wooden tracks.  Mr. H was trying to fit together some of the tracks when his Dad said;  ‘What you need there is a track with a female connector’

That was when I had the above reaction.

I didn’t say anything though, but he could tell by my reaction that…

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