Avoiding the big questions

English: Hunt Memorial Library, Nashua, New Ha...

Hunt Memorial Library, Nashua, New Hampshire. Designed by Ralph Adams Cram, it opened in 1903. A new library was completed in 1970, after which the Hunt building housed offices for the Nashua School Department until 1991. Following an extensive restoration, it is used today for public, private and corporate functions. Photograph by Gary McGath, May 30, 2006. Uploaded by the photographer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just want to share this other reaction a man can get when he chooses to be a stay-at-home dad, which shows how far we still have to go to get a right attitude for brining up children.

 

From this posting of  a ‘Stay at Home Dad’ from Nashua who got a new admiration for people who can handle more than one child, him having a hard enough time with just one, we can see that certain subjects also are still bounded and perhaps stay connected with certain genders. Not all men or women do have an interest in being a technician. When technical aspects has to be taught, it should be important that the person teaching it has also full interest in it. Also for more spiritual aspects the requirements are that the person involved in teaching it should have a close feeling to the subject. When a person does not love the subject he or she is not the right person to teach about it.

Perfecting Motherhood  wrote:

My kids and 5 and 7 and don’t know anything about female or male connectors, or really how the birds and the bees work, except that there are two seeds that get combined in the mother’s womb. So far, they haven’t really insisted on knowing how the seeds get there…

Today the staying at home for one of the parents is mostly a financial problem. This can be seen on several postings on the net.

Is there any change in the air? A report by the Council of Contemporary Families found American men do more housework and childcare than men in any of the other four developed countries surveyed (France, Italy, Germany and Japan). Europe likes so much going behind the US, how about that housework? Though we in Belgium do have the impression men are doing far better than in the US taking up their role with love and guts.

English: demonstration for parental leave in t...

Demonstration for parental leave in the European Parliament Nederlands: Demonstratie voor vaderschapsverlof in het Europees Parlement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

  • Why Mums Shouldn’t Work and There Should Be NO SaHDs (modernfatheronline.com)
    Is there some big conspiracy where all the men get together and say that women should not be allowed to make as much money as them, or have the top jobs like them?
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    You need to quit your job so that the stay-at-home-dads who are having trouble finding like minded parents (yes, that’s either mums or dads, but mostly mums as they dominate the landscape, remember?) can go back to work and work instead of staying home looking after and raising their kids.
    +
    Just for the record, if finances permitted, I would be a stay-at-home-dad in a heart beat.
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    Shane Francescut wrote:

    I took parental leave last year with our second son and loved every minute of it. I think every dad should spend some quality time with their kids in the early years. Love the hat. In often wearing my son’s Spider Man backpack on the walls home from daycare.

     

  • I’m a stay-at-home dad but I’m unloved by my partner. What can I do? (metro.co.uk)
    I met my partner 13 years ago and we never planned to have children as I had a vasectomy. But, at 39, she wanted a baby so we used a sperm donor. Our baby is healthy and a joy. My partner, who works very hard, is now pregnant by another donor. I am a stay-at-home dad but I’m lonely – rejected and unloved by my partner. I feel unable to cope and am dreading the impending second birth. I want to improve our relationship but am lost as to what I can do and have intermittent suicidal thoughts. What can I do?
  • REPOST: Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads (candidreflectionsofadad.wordpress.com)
    Are you feeling insecure because of your status as a “stay-at-home” dad? It’s time to change your mind by reading this insightful article from CareerPath.com. > Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads
    “For us, the decision was a no-brainer,” says Andrew Krill who stays home with his twin boys, while his wife, a retail executive, commutes to work each day. “My wife’s earning capacity is far greater than mine, and we both think it’s important to have a parent at home.

    “When it comes to bread-winning, I’ve taken a support role, so that my wife can excel in her career,” adds Krill, who formerly worked in the retail industry and as a bond salesman. “Yet I also recognize my duty to lead our family…and I do, both financially (by handling all bills and investments) and spiritually.”

  • Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now (n3wbeginnings11.wordpress.com)
    A friend’s dad, visiting from the UK, told me he thought that women made better stay-at-home parents.  This was within the context of my friend, his son, taking 6 weeks off in-between jobs, and going on and on about how great he would be at stay-at-home-dad-ness.  His father didn’t agree.
  • Stay-at-Home Dads Get a Crash Course in Family Finances (and Guilt) (dailyfinance.com)
    A recent study by Pew Research details the trend: In 15 percent of all households of married adults with children under the age of 18, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinner. That’s up from 4 percent back in 1960, and accounts for 5.1 million married mothers who have higher incomes than their husbands.

    Stay-at-home dads face many of the economic challenges and concerns as stay-at-home moms — how transitioning from two salaries to one will impact their family, if the time at home might hinder a return to the job force, and whether new roles will cause resentment. But stay-at-home dads often face cultural stigmas about what it means to be a man in America, and what price tag that role should carry.

  • What do Stay At Home Mums do all day?! (apocketfuloftime.wordpress.com)
    I know there are a lot of Stay At Home Dads out there too. I have written this from my point of view as a mum and therefore haven’t used inclusive language throughout. Kudos to all the SAHDs out there.

    While I was pregnant with my first baby and still teaching, I remember talking to a couple of colleagues who were both dads, and saying how I was looking forward to a “break from working” when I went on maternity leave.  They had a good chuckle to themselves and warned me it wouldn’t be much of a break.
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    I remember wondering myself what Stay at Home Mums did all day before I became one.  What would I do with all that free time I would have?  I had visions of studying by correspondence, maybe learning French or doing a Masters in Teaching. In actual fact having my first baby was merely a challenge because I had to get used to life revolving around my little person.  This included breast-feeding round the clock, changing nappy upon nappy, and walking baby to sleep in the pram.  Many a cup of tea went cold and many a shower was abandoned as I ran to pick up my crying baby.  Until he slept through the night, any spare time was for rest, sleeping and, if in dire need, housework.

     

  • Peter Andre to put career on hold? (contactmusic.com)

    Peter Andre is considering putting his career on hold.

    The ‘Mysterious Girl’ singer is deliberating being a stay-at-home dad after his girlfriend Emily MacDonagh gives birth to their first baby together early next year, so she can continue to become a doctor.

    A source told Closer magazine: ”Pete’s made it clear Emily and the baby are his priority. He wants Emily to fulfil her dreams of becoming a doctor and has been saying he’s happy about being a stay-at-home dad. He’s even joked at how good he is at changing the nappies and burping.

     

Mr. C's Dad

‘ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!’

A friend of mine and his five year old son came over for a visit  when I had the above reaction to something this fellow Dad said.   For consistency, I’ll call the five year old Mr. H.

Mr. C and Mr. H were playing with a set of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, which go along with a set of wooden railway pieces which fit together to form any number of railway configurations.   Straight pieces, curved pieces, Y shapes, X shapes.  Kids can come up with their own rail yards by fitting together the wooden tracks.  Mr. H was trying to fit together some of the tracks when his Dad said;  ‘What you need there is a track with a female connector’

That was when I had the above reaction.

I didn’t say anything though, but he could tell by my reaction that…

View original post 346 more words

5 thoughts on “Avoiding the big questions

  1. Pingback: Gender roles and Multitasking parents | Stepping Toes

  2. Pingback: Father and motherhood | Stepping Toes

  3. Pingback: Importance of parents 2 | Stepping Toes

  4. Pingback: Looking at an American nightmare | From guestwriters

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