Not holding back and getting out of darkness

Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. We may be thrown from one side to the other, hearing much thunder and seeing lots of lightning, trying to meet the ends and finding solutions for the many problems which may arise.

Italian Family Wedding 1927 1928 20s NYC

Italian Family Wedding 1927 1928 20s NYC (Photo credit: Whiskeygonebad)

Lots of people  just take it that they are in this world and have to take it as it is. But is it so? Do we just have to let the world pass and leave it like it comes upon us?

These days it looks like many people are not satisfied or are angry with those around them and with themselves. some might find

… the majority of people you talk to on a daily basis are dicks. People push through you on the walk to work with no regard for anyone but themselves, they ash their cigarettes completely oblivious to the fact that you are walking behind them and don’t bother apologising. Get out da way! {The majority of the people you interact with are douchebags: 20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s}

Lots of people had dreams which are chattered into thousand pieces. Many found that where they thought would end up has become a vastly different place where they did end up after lots of struggles or interferences by others.

Your first job will be an eye-opening experience that will really show you what you want to do for the rest of your life. In college, you always dreamed about having your first job, but when you finally get that job, it’s probably nada like you imagined. {20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s}

Having found work persons may already be pleased they could get the money not feel miserable or to end up in the gutter.

Maybe it (the money) doesn’t necessarily bring you happiness, but it does surely prevent you from being miserable. If you want to move out of your parents’ house and experience what freedom truly is, well you better believe that money is your ticket out of there. {20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s}

English: VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (Oct. 24, 2007) -...

Virginea Beach, Va. (Oct. 24, 2007) – Rear Adm. Moira Flanders salutes as she walks through the side boys during the change of command ceremony for the Center for Personal and Professional Development on board Dam Neck Annex in Virginia Beach, Va. Capt. William Dewes relieved Capt. Jonathan Picker as commanding officer. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Seth Scarlett  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Soon, after they left school and their parents,  people learn nothing comes cheap in the post grad world.

You are going to be faced with expenses you didn’t even know existed. Guess who’s responsible for paying for these things? If you think it’s your parents, you guessed wrong, it’s you! Remember how badly you wanted to grow up? Well this is what you had to look forward to — bills, bills and more bills, bitches. {20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s}

Many people are realising how miserable the typical 9-5 career can be and are leaving for the world of entrepreneurship. Hopefully your family knows you well enough to realise your potential is better suited elsewhere. {20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s}

Once in the world of business, it seems that economical world is been taking us in or has sup. Many do have to work to pay for the bills. They often dream of house of their own and engage to early on the mortgage market, making them live on the cutting edge. No time for personal development any more. Not time any more for spiritual issues.

When we face this life we sometimes need to build up the the courage to claim our spiritual identity in the midst of a world full of darkness. Some people even may be afraid to face the light which others might bring in front of them. It is like they are afraid of light.Lots of people are not sure for whom or what they have to live. They keep wondering why certain things are happening to them and not to others.  Lots of people we find concentrating on those bad things that happen onto them, instead of concentrating on the good things they let pass and do not enjoy enough.

Worlds Apart

Worlds Apart (Photo credit: Sony200boy)

Lots of people are so taken by the materialism of this world and hope that will bring them luck. The spiritual is something which frightens them. They know they have to live day in day out, and look to reach a goal, which they call success. They measure it in finances and in things the world can see. But they forget to see the richness of the things unseen. They run past all the beauty nature has to offer humankind, that many do not mind destroying.

How many people are not trying to use most of their time to convince anyone else of their good reason to exist and to see their success. So many people get caught up and get lost on the path of convincing … when in reality they would be better off, by just trying to be their own.

So many people got chained by their desire to have success, they loose track of the beautiful site of the world. They work and work and forget to live, until they feel pushed in the corner and wonder what they are doing and for what.

Only when they begin to attempt to simplify their lives they realize that they are not exactly sure what it is they really want. Many even do not come to see what might be important for them and for the others around them. They want to let go of this absorbing world, but do not know how. They lost the clear view to see or understand what’s important to us,. They know that something is not working and that they or that we need to change.

And yes we all need to change before it is to late. This world is ‘going bonkers’ if we are not careful. The global warming may for many be a fairy tale, but than they would be surprised how serious it really is.

It is important that we all know that every single thing we’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led us to this moment right now. Everything that we allowed to go through or let pass, shall be of influence on our environment, on the world we live in. Too many people still think it would not make any difference when a small fish somewhere in the ocean changes something.  But when all those little sardines would come together and join forces they would be seen from far away and not only be noticed but also heard.

Everybody has his mouthful of “freedom” but often only thinks about his own self, not being worried how the freedom of the other person can be guaranteed. Some might also say

One of the greatest freedoms is simply not caring what everyone else thinks of you.

There is truth in it for the own self-development. To feel at ease with yourself you need to be able to step aside now and then. You should be able to look at yourself. Sometimes it also may be taken literally, leaving the office, stepping outside, getting some air, looking at the grass and the trees. Taking time to see around you and to remind yourself of who you are and what you want to be.

The best thing you can do is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just accept the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what others will think, or afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.  They aren’t. {20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You}

Lots of people got blinded by their own mistakes and can not see that others also make the same terrible mistakes. We should all keep in mind that we’ve all made mistakes, but we should all also allow ourselves and others to make mistakes.  it is all to easy to do nothing. If you think by doing nothing you can not do anything wrong, you are mistaken. We all have a reason to be here on this earth and we all have our responsibility, not only for ourselves and our beloved ones, but also for those who come after us.

Lots of us let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve.

And sometimes, we too have given others way less than they deserve.  Sometimes we let our priorities and our boundaries get ravished by the chaos of the day.  But if you think about it, we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices, and even though there are some things we can never recover, and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time.  We now have more power to shape our future. {4 Good Reminders When You’ve Had a Bad Day}

When life gets stressful, we often forget the things we should remember, and remember the things we should forget.  Then we loose track. Danger is also that we loose not only control over ourselves but also the believe in ourselves.

Don’t settle to simply be someone’s downtime, spare time, part time, or sometime.  If they can’t reliably be there for you when you need them most, they’re not worth your time. {20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You}

This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you.  This moment is your ‘life.’  Don’t miss it.  (Read The Power of Now.)

The tendency here is to let our emotional attachments to things, people, places, etc. overwhelm us and prevent us from making real, meaningful and lasting changes. Instead of taking hold of those who love us we endanger and isolate ourselves by taking distance or going into our own little cell or cocoon. Than is the time to take the outstretched hand of others. Than you should be not taken by those who bully you or want to get you down.

Don’t let the people who refuse to love you keep you from the people who do love you.  Spend time with those who make your world a little brighter simply by being in it.

As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”  Regardless of how despicable another has acted, never let hate build in your heart.  Fighting hatred with hatred only hurts you more.  When you decide to hate someone you automatically begin digging two graves: one for your enemy and one for yourself.  (Read The Four Agreements.) {20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You}

health care

health care (Photo credit: lu4unity)

Life is too short to tirelessly struggle with those who bring negative forces into live. We better get rid of all those negative influences and concentrate more on positive thoughts. to bring positive news into the world is not as easy as it may look at first sight. From Guestwriters would love to bring more writers together bringing good news and concentrating on the love and peace we should try to build up together. But like on this platform there are not many writers presenting them to share their thoughts and, with their writings, to help others

Life will test you to see how serious you are about pursuing a particular path.  And sooner or later you may face negative feedback from others.  When this happens, remember not to let anyone crush your spirit.  If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.

Those who love life and love the ones around them can spread that love by showing it to others, without wanting something in return. It are those who want to dream and share their dreams, who can bring some light in this world.

Anything worth achieving takes time and dedicated effort.  Period.  Honestly, I used to believe that making wishes and saying prayers changed things, but now I know that wishes and prayers change us, and We change things.  (Angel and Marc Chernoff discuss this in detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.) {20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You}

We know that many people will laugh at those with ideals and dreams. We are aware and you too should know that some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.

Do not help them by acknowledging their behaviour.  Keep moving forward.  Practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Letting go of the past is your first step . {20 Things to Stop Letting People Do to You}

Things which happened in the past can be told, so that others can learn from it. The things happened in the past should be a lesson for us. We have to learn from history and therefore it is important that people tell about that history. But we do have to direct our eyes to the future and to look forward.
We do not have to go through the darkness alone. If everybody carries a tiny candle, the many little points of light will give a bigger light. Getting more lights together will make a brighter light.

On From Guestwriters as on this site, we do invite those who have something to share, to join us to bring positive news on From Guestwriters and to bring important things to be aware of or to think about, even when they may be shocking, or upsetting others, on this site, which for that reason is also called “Stepping Toes‘ because sometimes we do need to step on someone’s toes, before he comes to notice something.

We don’t need to flaunt our spirituality, argue about it, or attack anyone who does not see or agree with it; we just need to live it. The path of mastery does not require us to convince anyone else of anything; it simply asks us to remember who we are and be it. {Alan Cohen, Dare To Be Yourself}

May we look forward to meeting you as a regular reader or as a contributor or guest-author on one of the two sites?

You may join us on this site or on From Guestwriters
and become one of the Bloggers for peace


Click on the picture to get to know more about the Bloggers for piece

Kozo & Cheri also ask that you join Bloggers For Peace


Find also to read:

  1. Live …
  2. Luck
  3. Choices
  4. See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory
  5. If we view the whole world through a lens that is bright
  6. Don’t Envy the World
  7. Right to be in the surroundings
  8. To be chained by love for another one
  9. No man is free who is not master of himself
  10. Looking to the East and the West for Truth
  11. World Agenda for Sustainability
  12. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #3 Right to Human dignity
  13. Men as God
  14. A risk taking society
  15. Some one or something to fear #2 Attitude and Reactions
  16. Science, scepticism, doubts and beliefs
  17. Trusting, Faith, Calling and Ascribing to Jehovah #4 Transitoriness #1 Prosperity
  18. The Spirit of God brings love, hope and freedom
  19. Peace Takes You
  20. Happy International Happiness Day!
  21. By counting our blessings we not only feel good, but we multiply our good
  22. Never making mistakes because never doing anything

Find the sites and articles:

  1. Marc and Angel Hack Life
  2. 30 things to start doing for yourself – #6 is vital.
  3. 20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s

Sanket k




  • Keeping the Darkness Out (
    I was struck immediately by how angry everyone on the channel seemed. And how it seemed to permeate every word said. They sneered as they read the news. I guess they were sneering at Democrats in general and the president in particular. But I think they also were sneering at the audience.
    What they were really doing, of course, was sneering at the truth as they fanned the flames of racism, homophobia, and every other form of hate they could think of. That’s what they really preach on that channel – unabashed hatred. Hatred for what you don’t have. Hatred for what you don’t want. Hatred for everyone and everything that doesn’t fit a narrowly defined agenda.
  • [Classic RPG Realms] What Do You Keep Coming Back To? (
    Always coming back to something. He said that was a sure sign that something was really a part of you, something you couldn’t put down. Your life would be incomplete without it. He felt that way about horses. Obviously I didn’t, and neither did my daughters–we own no horses now.
  • Ready to Fly (
    I remained there, in the dark silence. I stayed there and almost drowned myself in all my tears. I hid there and let sadness strip me down. And in staying there, I slowly began to drift down the wrong path.
    But then, He spoke to me. [He never fails.] He told me I was going to live. He told me I could do more than just survive. He told me to dream again. He told me to give my life for His, and I would know peace. And the darkness fell away, and my heart began to beat again, and I knew that I would really be okay.
  • Are You Afraid of the Dark? (
    So many of us hide the things that most need to be shared. Regrets. Mistakes. Shame. I’ve kept many of my memories, experiences that I fear to relive, hidden beneath a blanket of shadows. Over the months and years, they’ve gathered dust. Like a dark basement, I’ve been terrified to venture back there, afraid that they’d jump out at me when I wasn’t ready to see them again. I’ve always been afraid of the dark, afraid of being blind to what’s coming my way.
  • Who’s Afraid of Identity Access Management? (
    IT managers, do you ever feel like you’re the Big Bad Wolf? When you try to rein in your users, even just to enforce good password policies, they sometimes act like you’re trying to blow their house down. When in fact you’re the one trying to convince them to move into a house made out of bricks.

    You don’t have to be the bad guy. Using some gentle persuasion — and the right technology for Identity Access Management (IAM) — you can steer your users in a better direction. The key is to make it easy for them to do the right thing, even when their instincts tell them to huddle in their houses made out of straw and sticks.

  • ‘The ocean captured us and allowed us to dream…’ (
    ou’ve never hidden the fact that life’s hurdles have been somewhat challenging over the last year or so… Getting to grips with life as an independent women… Managing your own finances (ensuring there is still enough cash left in the bank account after payday shopping spree which always leads to buying of essential new outfits for forthcoming social events, to pay for basic food items such as wine, milk and bread)…
  • Do Not Be Afraid From “Life’s Darkness” (
    Don’t be afraid about recent life’s dark / You are the one who govern your fate / As long you understand the “Law” / Marvelous times always will come in life / if you will act wisely as a creator God….
  • Don’t Let Growth Hacking Ruin the Customer Experience (
    tunnel vision can occur when this happens. Cops forget about big busts and focus on the arrests they can get, if the required metric becomes “X arrests per quarter.”
    If you’re going to be aggressive with your growth, you should know this: growth hacking can end up being marketing on steroids—that is, it can create artificial growth that has disastrous effects for the long term health of your business.
  • Think BigG & Live The Life You Deserve! (
    So many of us never manage to reach the level of accomplishments we could simply because we let thinking small define our lives.
    We hold back on trying to realize our dreams because we are afraid of what others will think or say.
    Still, if we´re serious about living the life we feel we´re meant to live, doing those great things we´re convinced we are capable of, then we need to step up to the challenge and learn to ignore the nay-sayers.
  • Faith Over Fear (
    When you decide to take the road less traveled, it often means voting against the family party line. Basically if you are dealing with a narcissist, you are playing a game you can never win, so you might as well give up and go home. Fear and rejection are the bottom lines for most ACONs—Adult Children of Narcissists. I was invited to join such a group this week and my mind is still reeling from the humanity.


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Humans often worry for the wrong reason. Instead of making themselves sick with worry and stress over things that had happened (the past) or events that will happen (the future) they should get to learn themselves better and those around them, plus trust the One who allowed them to be here on this earth.

The being afraid to give us in the Hand of Somebody much Higher than a human being makes us afraid for losing control. Because the urge to “have control” is often what people make them sick. The egocentricity often creates a negative flow of energy and blinds us. As you say sometimes we should dare to lose our identity, becoming free of forms (and our problem-making mind) and making ourselves able to connect with a Deeper Intelligence that Is One with everything. When we ignite this Intelligence with our awareness, right action happens.

We should trust more what the day brings and take it like it comes, making the best out of it.


Find also to read:

  1. Coming to the end of the year
  2. Fear knocked at the door
  3. Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past
  4. Rejoicing in the day
  5. Finish each day and be done with it
  6. A concrete picture of what is to come in the future
  7. Self-development, self-control, meditation, beliefs and spirituality
  8. A Living Faith #5 Perseverance
  9. The truth is very plain to see and God can be clearly seen
  10. You God hold the future
  11. Man’s plans prevailed by God’s purpose
  12. Time for global change
  13. Cosmos creator and human destiny
  14. To mean, to think, outing your opinion, conviction, belief – Menen, mening, overtuiging, opinie, geloof
  15. End Times
  16. The Bible is a today book
  17. Bible a guide – Bijbel als gids


  • How can I feel better – how can I align more??? (“First, by figuring out when you’re not there. That’s easy, You don’t feel good. Next, by identifying what you’re focused upon when you don’t feel good. And usually what you’re doing when you don’t feel good is your saying, “I’m not where I should be.” We can give this to you in such a powerful way.Your desire to be in Alignment with Who-You-Really-Are is so strong that what bothers you most is not being in Alignment with Who-You-Really-Are. So, you just keep saying, “How do I get into Alignment? How do I get into Alignment? How do I get into Alignment. How do I get in the Vortex?
  • Believe the Stars Are Aligned Right Now for Attracting the Life You Desire (
    Do you believe that one day the stars will align and things will work out?  Do you believe that one day all of your hopes and dreams will come true?  Do you believe that one day you will attract what you’ve wanted for so long?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, than unfortunately you will not attract your true desires into your life.  By believing that one day these things will happen, you tell the universe that your desire is to always believe that one day these things will happen.

  • On Being Selfish (
    I have noticed in many of my readings that people stress because they push themselves too hard. Most of us have been conditioned to put the needs of other’s above our own. We give 110% on the job. We sacrifice for our families. We support our spouses. I’m all for being giving and compassionate, but we must also be mindful of our own needs.
  • The Vital Importance of Inner Alignment – by Owen Waters (
    Many people in society today work at jobs they don’t like, and find themselves with little or no time for activities that increase the quality of their lives. Such people are being kept out of alignment with their inner selves.

    Traditionally, society has pressured people into conformity. Peer pressure to conform to an immediate social group begins at school because, from an early age, people are taught that they should conform to outside standards.
    Inner alignment means becoming more of your true self. Your inner being is your true self, and by developing your inner potential, you express more and more of your true self.

  • A self prescribed rant (
    So egocentrism is a blaming mechanism?

    Not necessarily; although it can be.

     Then why do people keep pointing out my egocentrism despite trying my best to remain utilitarian and unbiased?

    Because we are egocentric, and it is impossible to be entirely without bias. And maybe you seek advice from the wrong people.

  • Perspiring human inspires aspiration. (
    Being born with understanding abilities the mankind struggles to help one another in preserving independence as way to fulfill conscious satisfaction is aspiration.
    Seeing soul with experiencing sensitivities the individual volunteers to make purposeful presentation in retaining integrity as key to convince nearby public is aspiration.
    Quietly pursue human impulsive aspiration, vastly project human intelligence aspiration, widely publicize human importance aspiration and popularly prioritize human intricate aspiration.


When we align ourselves with the present moment, we go with the movement of life. There is no effort or stress involved because we move with the life force of the universe. We let it work through us. We become one with it and let it take us to wherever we are needed. There is no thinking involved.

Thinking muddles the energy field of our body because we put labels and expectations on life, people and circumstances. We personalize every event and make it fit with our mind-made reality. And because we live in a world that is constantly changing, we feel our identity is under threat so we do whatever we can to hold on to it. We make ourselves sick with worry and stress over things that had happened (the past) or events that will happen (the future). Both are outside our control. We want to stop this…

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Uit huis werkende moeders

Neerbuigende houding naar thuisblijvers

Nederlands: Moeders lieveling / Albert Neuhuys...

Een lang vervlogen tijd toen moeders nog in huis bleven om voor de kinderen en het huishouden te zorgen. – Moeders lieveling / Albert Neuhuys (1844 – 1914). – datering onbekend, Moeders lieveling (Albert Neuhuys) (Foto credit: Wikipedia)

De huidige toestand in de geïndustrialiseerde landen vergt van de ingezetenen van een land dat zij zich voor de maatschappij inspannen.  De maatschappij kijkt niet meer zo liefkozend naar moeders die zich enkel bezig houden met hun gezinnetje. Vaders die zich daar meer op toe leggen krijgen helemaal een scheve blik te verduren.

Anno 2013 is het helemaal niet makkelijk voor een gezin om goed rond te komen en bijna onmogelijk om dit nog te kunnen doen op één inkomen. vroeger kon de ‘vrouw des huizes’ zich enkel met het huishouden bezig houden en hoefde zij geen zorgen te maken over het nodige geld voor het huishoudbudget. Haar echtgenoot kon hier wel voor zorgen. Maar nu is dat niet meer voldoende en zijn vele vrouwen wel genoodzaakt om ook buitenshuis te gaan werken. Anderzijds zijn er nu ook meer vrouwen die niets liever doen dan buitenshuis te gaan werken.

Dubbele taak

Die vrouwen die buitenshuis gaan werken worden echter na hun dagtaak nog eens geconfronteerd met de vele huistaken. Op dat vlak schort er nog wat aan het rollenpatroon dat onze maatschappij voor ogen heeft. (Lees hierover in het vorige artikel: Conservatieve rolpatronen en huishoudtaken)

Vele vrouwen moeten zich niet alleen kwijten van de traditionele gezinsverantwoordelijkheden, maar ook om het gezin financieel te steunen worden zij nog eens geconfronteerd met een baan die veel van hen vergt. Veel van deze moeders werken buitenshuis, niet uit vrije keuze maar uit noodzaak. Ze weten dat als ze thuis zouden blijven, hun gezin en vooral hun kinderen veel zouden moeten ontberen. Hun salaris — vaak lager dan dat van mannen die vergelijkbaar werk doen — is van groot belang.

Verhoogde druk

De huidige crisis en grote hoeveelheid werklozen verhoogt ook de druk op de werkende vrouwen. Ook al zijn er beschermende wetten voorzien, zetten veel werkgevers moeders onder druk om zo snel mogelijk na de bevalling weer aan het werk te gaan. Meestal wordt er geen vermindering van het aantal werkuren verleend als ze terug zijn. Er wordt dus geen regeling getroffen wegens het feit dat ze nu verantwoordelijkheden hebben tegenover een heel klein kind. Ze kunnen niet veel vrije dagen opnemen zonder financieel in moeilijkheden te komen. Daarbij hebben moeders nogal eens te kampen met slechte faciliteiten voor kinderopvang en onvoldoende sociale voorzieningen.

Zoeken naar evenwicht

Het valt niet mee werk en huishouding in evenwicht te houden. De druk op de ouders neemt alsmaar toe. Maar er zijn ouders die toch een bewuste keuze willen maken om hun kinderen het gevoelen van ouderlijke genegenheid mee te geven. Die ouders die het belangrijker vinden dan geldelijke winsten te maken door uit huis te gaan werken, verkiezen er voor om minder te werken, en dan ook wel minder te verdienen, maar dan meer tijd met hun kinderen te kunnen doorbrengen.

Daarnaast mogen wij ook vrouwen en mannen vinden die wel graag meer tijd met hun kinderen zouden willen doorbrengen maar dat niet zien zitten doordat zij zo veel tijd moeten besteden aan werk om hun kost te verdienen.
Duizenden werkende moeders spreekt de gedachte dat ’kwaliteitstijd’ met de kinderen de veelvuldige afwezigheid voor een deel wel kan goedmaken. Maar hoe zij ook willen is de weinige tijd buiten hun werk niet voldoende om de kwaliteit te verzekeren. Velen merken dat die opvatting van kwaliteitsverhoging niet juist is of niet haalbaar is. Veel moeders van nu zeggen dat ze door het gegoochel met de stress op het werk en de verantwoordelijkheden thuis overwerkt, overspannen en onderbetaald zijn.

Nodige tijd voor kind

Mother Feeding Child In KitcheAls vrouwen vele uren achtereen bij hun kinderen weg zijn, krijgen de kinderen niet wat ze het hardst nodig hebben — de tijd en aandacht van hun moeder. De moeder speelt in her groot brengen van een kind een niet te verwaarlozen rol. Iemand die haar vervangt, kan enigermate in de behoefte van een kind aan zijn moeder voorzien maar niet haar plaats innemen.

Moeders echter die geen baan hebben maar thuisblijven om hun kinderen te verzorgen, vertellen dat ze er moeite mee hebben minachtend en neerbuigend behandeld te worden door een maatschappij die erop ingesteld is betaald werk te verheerlijken. In sommige samenlevingen wordt huisvrouw zijn niet meer als een eervolle status beschouwd en worden vrouwen dus onder druk gezet een eigen carrière op te bouwen, zelfs als het extra inkomen niet nodig is.


Of moeders nu buitenshuis werken of niet, ze worden vaak nog steeds beschouwd als degenen die als eersten verantwoordelijk zijn voor de huishouding en het verzorgen van de kinderen.

Hoewel steeds meer moeders langer werken, springen vaders niet altijd bij. In de Londense Sunday Times stond:

„Groot-Brittannië is een natie van afwezige vaders, volgens nieuw onderzoek waaruit blijkt dat mannen slechts vijftien minuten per dag met hun kinderen doorbrengen. . . . Veel mannen hebben er niet zo veel plezier in tijd aan hun gezin te besteden. . . . Ter vergelijking: de Britse werkende moeder brengt per dag negentig minuten met haar kinderen door.”

Sommige mannen klagen dat hun vrouw het moeilijk vindt taken te delegeren omdat ze erop staat dat alles precies zo wordt gedaan als zij dat gewend is. „Anders doe je het verkeerd”, zeggen de mannen. Het ligt voor de hand dat als een vermoeide huisvrouw wil profiteren van de medewerking van haar man, ze misschien bereid moet zijn wat concessies te doen betreffende de manier waarop bepaalde huishoudelijke taken worden verricht. Aan de andere kant mag de man dat argument niet gebruiken als een excuus om niets te doen.

Voorziening voor volgende generaties

English: mothers day photo, Pakistani mother a...

Pakistaanse moeder en kind (Foto credit: Wikipedia)

Vele mensen vergeten de belangrijkheid voor het voorzien van de volgende generaties. Kinderen lijken wel een last geworden te zijn. Maar zonder kinderen gene toekomstige voorzieners voor de bejaarden en door ziekte niet mer werkenden. Kinderen zijn de toekomst van een land. Het grootbrengen van de toekomstige generaties mensen kan men niet heel eenvoudig afwimpelen als een bijkomstigheid. zij die zich met die opvoeding van die kinderen moeten bezig houden spelen een zeer belangrijke rol, die vandaag helemaal miskend wordt.

Zij die kinderen kunnen hebben moeten beseffen dat de Maker van alle dingen, de Schepper God, zijn schepping ook de opdracht had gegeven zich voort te planten.

26 Verder zei God:* „Laten wij+ de mens* maken* naar ons beeld,*+ overeenkomstig onze gelijkenis,+ en laten zij de vissen der zee en de vliegende schepselen van de hemel en de huisdieren en de gehele aarde en al het zich bewegende gedierte dat zich op de aarde beweegt, in onderworpenheid hebben.”+27 En God ging ertoe over de mens te scheppen naar zijn beeld, naar Gods beeld schiep hij hem;+ als man en als vrouw schiep hij hen.+28 Voorts zegende+ God hen en God zei tot hen: „Weest vruchtbaar+ en wordt tot velen en vult de aarde en onderwerpt+ haar, en hebt de vissen der zee en de vliegende schepselen van de hemel en elk levend schepsel dat zich op de aarde beweegt,* in onderworpenheid.”+ (Genesis 1:26-28)

9.1 Vervolgens zegende God No̱ach en zijn zonen en zei tot hen: „Weest vruchtbaar en wordt tot velen en vult de aarde.+ (Genesis 9:1)

God voorzag dat de mens zich zou kunnen voortplanten.

9 En ik wil mij tot U wenden+ en U vruchtbaar maken en U vermenigvuldigen,+ en ik wil mijn verbond met U gestand doen.+ (Leviticus 26:9)

Die voortplantingsmogelijkheid zou eveneens een zegen zijn voor de mens.

4 Gezegend zullen zijn de vrucht van uw buik+ en de vrucht van uw bodem en de vrucht van uw huisdieren,+ de jongen van uw runderen en de teelt van uw kleinvee.+ (Deuteronomium 28:4)

38 En hij zegent hen zodat zij tot zeer velen worden;+ En hij laat hun vee niet weinig worden.+ (Psalm 107:38)

Kinderen geen vloek maar een voorrecht

Wij zouden ons veel meer van bewust moeten zijn dat het hebben van kinderen een voorrecht is. De kinderen die Jehovah ons geeft zijn tot tekenen en tot wonderen in onze wereld vanwege Jehovah.

 3 Ziet! Zonen zijn een erfdeel van Jehovah;+ De vrucht van de buik is een beloning.+  4 Als pijlen in de hand van een sterke man,*+Zo zijn de zonen der jeugd.+ 5 Gelukkig is de fysiek sterke man* die zijn pijlkoker ermee heeft gevuld.+Zij zullen niet beschaamd worden,+ Want zij zullen met vijanden spreken in de poort. (Psalm 127:3-5)

Moeders en vaders zullen gaan beseffen dat ondanks de uitdagingen het moederschap en vaderschap hun ongeëvenaarde vreugden hebben. Ouders hoeven zich er niet voor te schamen dat zij meer tijd thuis willen besteden en er de voorkeur er aan geven minder tijd buitenshuis te werken. Men kan trouwens op zoek gaan naar mogelijkheden om ook thuis te werken. Met de huidige internet mogelijkheden kan men bepaalde taken gerust thuis verrichten, zonder zich op de baan te moeten begeven en door verplaatsingen veeltijd te verliezen en de lucht te vervuilen.

Opgroeiende kinderen juist beïnvloeden

Couples In Domestic Kitchen With Breakfast

Als koppel samen werkend voor het ontbijt

Zo wel de vader als de moeder zullen er veel meer hebben aan die kinderen als zij ze ook zien opgroeien. Indien beide ouders uit werken gaan merken zij dikwijls dat de kinderen groot zijn vooraleer zij het beseffen.

Omdat kinderen de toekomstige generatie vertegenwoordigen, verdienen de vrouwen en de mannen die hen vormen, hun moeders, vaders kindermeisjes, opvoeders en leerkrachten, beslist respect, eer en steun.

De beslissingen die ouders nemen over opvoeding en moederschap zijn van diepe en blijvende invloed op het leven en karakter van hun kinderen. Die beslissingen kunnen grote veranderingen teweegbrengen in de leefwijze van de ouders en moeten dus met zorg genomen worden. Er zijn kwesties bij betrokken als: Moet een moeder buitenshuis gaan werken? En zo ja, hoeveel? Wie moet er voor de kinderen zorgen terwijl de moeder naar haar werk is? Uiteindelijk moeten ouders doen wat naar hun mening het beste is voor hun kinderen en tevens wat juist is in Gods ogen.

Hulp en leiding in Gods Woord

Moeders hoeven zich echter niet alleen te voelen in hun streven om verstandige beslissingen te nemen. Ze kunnen veel troost putten uit de woorden in Jesaja 40:11, die te kennen geven dat God bijzonder geïnteresseerd is in de behoeften van moeders met kleine baby’s, die hij ’met zorg zal leiden’.

11 Als een herder zal hij zijn eigen kudde weiden.+ Met zijn arm zal hij de lammeren bijeenbrengen,+ en aan zijn boezem zal hij [ze] dragen.+ De zogenden zal hij [met zorg] leiden.+ (Jesaja 40:11)

God geeft van die levendige interesse blijk door in de Bijbel een aantal richtlijnen te verschaffen die het moederschap tot een genoegen en een succes kunnen maken.

Eenvoudiger leven

„Wat gezinnen dreigen te verliezen met deze overweldigend hectische manier van leven,” schreef het blad Newsweek, „is het wezen, het specifieke van de kinderjaren en de vreugde van het gezinsleven.”

Daarom verlangen veel moeders naar een eenvoudiger leven.

Hoe kunt u dat bereiken? Stel ten eerste prioriteiten door aandacht te besteden aan „de belangrijker dingen”, zoals de tijd en persoonlijke aandacht die uw kinderen nodig hebben (Filippenzen 1:10, 11). Analyseer ten tweede uw leefstijl. Misschien moet u afzien van activiteiten en bezittingen die niet echt noodzakelijk zijn.

Prioriteiten kiezen

Wat is het belangrijkste in uw leven?

Wilt u alles onmiddellijk hebben of kunnen sommige dingen wachten terwijl u andere probeert te verwezenlijken?

Nederlands: Negatief. Portret van kinderen met...

Bewust kiezen voor kinderen. – Portret van kinderen met feestmutsen en hun moeders tijdens een verjaardagspartij (Uit vroeger jaren) (Foto credit: Wikipedia)

Een bewust ouderschap zal ook bewuste keuzes vragen. Hoe dan ook zal men als men meer tijd aan de kinderen wil besteden, minder tijd hebben om geld te verdienen. De keuze om minder te werken buitenshuis zal een financiële opoffering vragen. Men zal met minder geld ook wel beperktere mogelijkheden hebben, aar dat hoeft geen lastige hinderpaal te zijn.
Met beperkte middelen kan men de klus ook wel klaren. Door de dingen simpel te houden en de uitgaven te beperken zal men ook alles nog in goede banen kunnen leiden. Men zal merken dat al het geld en al de hebbedingetjes niet dat geluk kunnen geven dat een hechte familieband kan verwezenlijken.

Gods Woord zegt dat iemand die ’onderscheidingsvermogen behoedt, het goede zal vinden’ (Spreuken 19:8). Er is onderscheidingsvermogen nodig bij de oneindige reeks vrijetijdsbestedingen, spulletjes en trends waarmee moeders en kinderen worden overspoeld. Constant worden wij bestookt met nieuwe producten, technische verbeteringen en meer diensten. Maar hierdoor moeten wij ons niet laten verleiden. Wij moeten ons sterker tonen dan de meerderheid van mensen die zich door de reclame laat vangen.

„Je moet vaststellen wat noodzakelijk is en waar je wat aan hebt en je kinderen helpen hetzelfde te doen.”

Breng de veranderingen aan die mogelijk zijn

Om als moeder, of als vader thuis te blijven en te zorgen voor de kinderen, zullen bepaalde opofferingen moeten gebracht worden. Om het huishouden in goede banen te leiden moet gezond verstand gebruikt worden. Als ouders moet men zelf alles goed na gaan en goe een onderscheid maken in de noodzakelijkheden en de extra’s.

21 Mijn zoon, mogen ze niet wijken uit uw ogen.+ Beveilig praktische wijsheid en denkvermogen,+ 22 en ze zullen leven voor uw ziel blijken te zijn+ en een bekoring voor uw hals.+ 23 In dat geval zult gij in zekerheid uw weg bewandelen,+ en zelfs uw voet zal nergens tegen stoten.+ 24 Wanneer maar ook gij u neerlegt, zult gij geen angst gevoelen;+ en gij zult stellig neerliggen, en uw slaap moet aangenaam zijn.+ 25 Gij zult niet bevreesd behoeven te zijn voor enige plotselinge angstaanjaging,+ noch voor het onweer over de goddelozen, omdat het komt.+ 26 Want Jehovah zelf zal inderdaad uw vertrouwen blijken te zijn,*+ en hij zal uw voet stellig behoeden, zodat hij niet gegrepen wordt.+ (Spreuken 3:21-26)

Misschien werkt u momenteel buitenshuis, maar zou uw gezin kunnen rondkomen van het inkomen van uw man?
Stel om die vraag te beantwoorden vast, hoeveel u in feite netto overhoudt na aftrek van belasting, kinderoppas, reiskosten, kleding, maaltijden buitenshuis en andere kosten. Bovendien kan het zijn dat u met uw gezamenlijke inkomen verhoudingsgewijs meer belasting betaalt. Het zal u waarschijnlijk verbazen hoe weinig er overblijft.

Sommigen gaan korter werken of dichter bij huis, wat minder inkomen maar meer tijd bij de kinderen kan betekenen. Als u besluit met werken op te houden maar uw baan belangrijk voor u is geweest vanwege uw gevoel van eigenwaarde en het idee iets te presteren, denk dan na over de manier waarop u deze belangrijke elementen kunt handhaven als u thuisblijft.

Geef prioriteit aan geestelijke zaken

Men heeft waargenomen dat de uitdagingen van het moederschap zwaarder worden wanneer het doel uit het oog wordt verloren en er geen prioriteiten worden gesteld. Christelijke gezinnen zijn gelukkig wanneer ze er gezamenlijk naar streven Gods wil op de eerste plaats in hun leven te laten komen. De apostel Paulus schreef:

„Godvruchtige toewijding is nuttig voor alle dingen, daar ze een belofte inhoudt voor het tegenwoordige en het toekomende leven” (1 Timotheüs 4:8).

Een gezin dat leeft met godvruchtige toewijding en dat Gods in de Bijbel opgetekende leiding volgt, zal geluk vinden. Zelfs als maar één gezinslid Bijbelse beginselen in praktijk brengt, gaat het al beter dan wanneer niemand het doet.

Als men geestelijk gezind is en regelmatig de Bijbel leest zal men daarin veel raad vinden. Ook de kinderen zullen op de geestelijke lectuur gunstig reageren. Het geestelijke voedsel dat je hun geeft, maakt het allemaal de moeite waard. Wanneer je kleine, aanmoedigende vorderingen in hun gedrag en manier van redeneren ziet, besef je dat ze het aanvaarden en dat je inspanningen beloond worden.

Ja, het is mogelijk de hordenloop van het moederschap met succes te lopen. God zelf geeft de vertroostende verzekering dat de inspanningen van ijverige en zelfopofferende moeders die op hem vertrouwen, niet tevergeefs zullen zijn. Moeders die een persoonlijke band met hem opbouwen, kunnen troost putten uit zijn belofte dat hij ’de vermoeide kracht geeft’.

28 Zijt gij [het] niet te weten gekomen of hebt gij [het] niet gehoord?+ Jehovah, de Schepper van de uiteinden* der aarde, is een God tot onbepaalde tijd.+ Hij wordt noch moe noch mat.+ Er is geen doorgronding van zijn verstand.+ 29 Hij geeft de vermoeide kracht,+ en degene zonder dynamische energie+ schenkt hij volledige sterkte in overvloed. 30 Jongens zullen zowel moe als mat worden, en jonge mannen zelfs zullen zonder mankeren struikelen, 31 maar wie op Jehovah hopen,+ zullen nieuwe kracht verkrijgen.+ Zij zullen opvaren met vleugels als arenden.+ Zij zullen rennen en niet mat worden; zij zullen wandelen en niet moe worden.”+ ( Jesaja 40:28-31).


Vervolg van: Conservatieve rolpatronen en huishoudtaken

Vervolgt met: Vaderschap complex en uniek verschijnsel

Similar English article: Father and motherhood


Lees ook:

  1. Hoe is jouw film van je leven?
  2. Christelijk leven
  3. Toewijding van ons
  4. Toewijding van Jezus
  5. Helden en heiligen
  6. Maak ons onervarenen wijs
  7. Onder de Geest blijven
  8. Leiderschap gevonden in dienen van anderen
  9. God bewees ons zijn liefde
  10. God is positief
  11. Waarom gaf Jezus Maria aan Johannes
  12. Een kleine moeite is als een kiezelsteen
  13. Controleer uw lot of iemand anders zal het doen


  • Noble motherhood and women (
    Nature wants us to evolve and so we procreate and leave our trace behind through our children. In a country like ours motherhood is noble but sex, through which a woman becomes a mother, is a taboo. Many a times orthodox families bring up their girl child, grooming her in household but keeping her unaware of sex. In her puberty nature makes her look sexually attractive and drives her to get close to a man of her choice. If she falls in love with a well-known guy and goes to bed with him, it is considered a sin. But when the family finds an unknown guy, just after a one day event called marriage, society gives him instant right to take her to bed.
  • Motherhood maybe not as “good” as it gets (
    Motherhood, in modern society, is like a cult religion. There are handbooks, rules, and commandment-style lists of do’s and don’ts. Instead of trying to getting into heaven, though, everyone worries about raising a “good kid.”
    Maybe if the author felt less pressure to do it all JUST right, or maybe if she’d felt it was acceptable to be an individual and a mother at the same time, she wouldn’t have minded her offspring so much after all.  Her sense of mandatory commitment, and subsequent resentment, sounds like the way my father describes mothers of his generation.  Once it became socially acceptable, he’s confessed, my grandmother immediately burned her apron and defiantly sought a life separate from her husband and children. This was a surprise to the rest of the family. Had children been a forced burden, something that she desperately wanted to escape all along?  It’s hard to know, and I unfortunately I can no longer ask.
  • The Godliness of Motherhood (
    Joszef Cardinal Mindszenty, the courageous defender of the Church during the Communist occupation of Hungary, had an exceptionally strong affection for motherhood. In his book, The Mother, he penned an eloquent tribute to all mothers, emphasizing their particular closeness to God: “The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral—a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body. The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation. . . What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this; to be a mother?”
  • The Juggle of Modern Motherhood (
    Having a washing machine at home was a rarity in the 1960′s, and disposable nappies were even rarer. Imagine having three children in towelling nappies, and having to hand wash everything?I am very glad I am not a 1960s mother. I am very happy ‘modern conveniences’ like washing machines are ubiquitous; and there is the option of disposable nappies, and the option of formula feeding, and options and opportunities everywhere.
  • Being A Supermum!? (
    I have a question I want my fellow mothers to help me answer and that is, is there more to motherhood than being a mother?I am a young single mother and I’m interested in finding out about other mother’s and there experiences about motherhood from the moment of conception, to giving birth and to what the future holds because I feel that being a mother is such a rewarding job and I think its only fair that our voices, opinions and experiences should be heard, but it doesn’t always have to be about the kids! Because as much as we love them we still need to have a life!
  • Motherhood (
    The character of the Chippewa woman in the poem The Forsaken and Will’s mom—Rose in Medicine River are both great mothers. Aside from the fact that both women are single mother who just happen to be aboriginal, they have many similar qualities for a great mom. Both women scarify their lives to take care of their children and both do their best to make life better for them, even if their children didn’t really appreciate the love and care that the mothers give them. The Chippewa woman baits with her flesh just to have enough breast milk to feed her child; Rose sacrifices her personal time to work more to support the family.
  • Am I The Only One Annoyed By That Mom Video? (
    It’s the one posted on Huffington Post, called The Video Every Mom Must Watch On Repeat Until She Gets It.
    Parenting guilt is definitely not exclusive to mothers. And I surely don’t need a video of my children proclaiming their love to make me feel better. My kids proclaim their love often enough through hugs, cuddles, and words. I can be hard on myself at times, just like any other mom — but I don’t feel that these children said anything that these mothers haven’t heard before.
  • Imperfect Glory (
    “I wished to express simultaneously the imperfection and fallibility of the mothers but capture an element of the divine in the mother/child bond.” Kate goes on to say, “I wanted to draw some parallels between our own ideals of what a mother should be, and the cultural ideal of motherhood, symbolized by the Virgin Mary.  I wanted simultaneously to honour motherhood, in all the glory of it’s imperfection.”
  • A Matter of Judgement (
    The background of how I suppressed my own nature as a transgender woman for many, many years, as well as how and why that life eventually became impossible to maintain, is a lengthy story, perhaps for another day. What is most relevant here is that, quite frankly, I was a bit shocked that, within weeks of my first surfacing the truth of my situation openly with a brother whom I considered a long-time friend, the congregation elders had decided this was a “judicial matter,” and scheduled a meeting to essentially determine whether I would be “repentant,” or would need to be removed from the congregation.
  • Failing to Answer the Most Vital Question About “Becoming Jehovah’s Friend” (
    The first two videos about obeying stress the need to obey to be Jehovah’s friend, and yes, we need to obey to be Jehovah’s friend, but what’s in it for the child?  The videos are presented in such a way that it seems the parents feel they have already determined that their child wants to be friends with Jehovah, but are they so sure?This is a huge problem with JWs, at least as far as my own experience, and one that I firmly believe contributes to many children of Witnesses leaving when they become adults.  There is so much stress and emphasis on what you, even as a little child, must do and give up and sacrifice to be Jehovah’s “friend,” but not enough emphasis on why they should want to be his friend in the first place.
    I think that minding your parents and your manners are great lessons, however, I question the real lesson they’re actually portraying in these videos.  Rather than feeling uplifted and happy about being Jehovah’s friend, I firmly believe children will see these videos and feel even more distance between them and an unseen almighty being.

    So my question is, did those in the Society ever consider this?  Did it ever occur to them how Jehovah is seen through the eyes of a child?  If I can see these things, why can’t they?  Why are they so much more interested in telling people, including young children, what to do rather than lovingly explaining all the good reasons why they should do it?

  • Jehovah’s Witnesses Shun Family Members for Selfish Reasons (
    Jehovah’s Witnesses do shun family members under two circumstances:  1) They are disfellowshipped (DF), which is when a JW commits a so-called serious sin, is not repentant, and is excommunicated.  2) They officially disassociate (DA) themselves from the religion, meaning that they write a letter stating that they no longer wish to be viewed as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
    People will always let you down and somehow we have to look above and beyond, at the bigger picture.  So to say that some people who profess to be Christians live in ways that show them to be hypocrites is no exception.  But I strongly feel that whilst they may fool themselves and others, they can’t fool Jehovah, and “it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
    Never once does the mother ask her son what he believes and why his beliefs work for him.  Never does she ask why he left the JWs.  Perhaps she already knows but it’s incredibly self-serving to write a letter to your son, disowning him, and to speak only about yourself and what works for you and your spirituality.
  • Faith Can Change Your Life (
    The woman was pregnant when the Witnesses first visited her, but she and her husband had decided to abort the baby. However, the picture of the unborn baby on page 24 of the brochure touched the woman’s heart. The accompanying Bible-based explanation that life is sacred because ‘with God is the source of life’ persuaded her to keep her baby. (Psalm 36:9) Now she is the mother of a beautiful, healthy infant.
  • Are We Happy? (
    Looking at the farewell words of our Master, we will find it is important  that we are faithful, that we are productive and effective and Spirit-led in our  efforts to finish His work that He commanded us to do. We stick with  Jesus because He is our salvation, and to help with finishing the work He  started, i.e., telling others how to be saved. I find only a few  Bible references to our happiness, other than in eternity, and not  so much about joining Jesus and getting rich. Paul said the Kingdom of  God is righteousness and peace and JOY in the Holy Ghost. [Romans  14:17]
  • October 2013 Review (
    Because I want my children to “get” what I’m teaching, I sometimes continuously correct them while doing devotions.  I don’t think this helps them to love the Lord, His Word, or the process of growing in Christ.  So as a reminder to myself and to all fathers who are reading this:  “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).  May God help us to please Him.
  • Straight Arrow (
    As I was praying for the missionary families I work with here in Paraguay the Lord reminded me of the scripture about children being like arrows in a quiver. It had been a while since I read it so I looked it up. Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
  • Letters To A Natalist World: Motherhood Is Not The Highest Paid Job In The World (
    If being a parent is so great, then you shouldn’t have to lie about what it is to brag about it. These cutesy-wootsey, natalism-worshipping FaceBook share-fodder pictures with ridiculous captions have got to stop.
    You cannot pay a single one of your bills in love. I have never received a single bill that asked me for 100 loves. You cannot even keep your children alive on love. I may not have children myself, but I’m pretty sure that children generally tend to have basic requirements, such as eating and living indoors.
  • Blessed Mama ( Don’t you see that children are God ’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous you