Cohabitating Seniors and the Meaning of Marriage

Today older persons seem to question their position with each other and wonder if they have made the right choice some years ago or if they should not choose to bring some change in their relationship.

Some may have to face the natural loss of their partner, but others willingly looked to break their bonds and go other ways. Though loneliness is not always easy to cope with.

In many countries the fiscal situation for people who are not married is in the advantage of having more money over in the own pocket. But sometimes this does not make it so easy for the one who lives the longest and for the children of such not officially married partners. In many countries, like Belgium, the state offered a ‘Co-habiting contract’ for such people who do not want to go for marriage vows but want to secure their finances with each other.

In the picture today, may also be that several men or women once their partner of the other sex died or is gone away, they prefer to go to live together, either to share the bed or not with somebody of the same sex.

Everybody should know where they would like to go to in their life and which decisions they want to take, this to accordance with their own believes. For lovers of God it is clear that they best follow the instructions available in the Holy Scriptures. There they do not have to consider only their own relationship but also their relationship with God.

  • Divorce law overhaul: Is there really any point to marriage anymore? (
    The only problem with a no-nup is that it till doesn’t provide the same sort of divorce rights, or rights around children, that marriage would, meaning marriage still wins out. So when Sir James Munby, president of the High Court Family Division and the most senior family judge in England and Wales, recently spoke about wanting to give unmarried couples similar legal protections to married ones, I was pretty thrilled.
    It makes me wonder if there’s really any point to getting married anymore. If I meet The One, we can live happily (and financially safely enough) without having to publicly declare our love for each other in an overly expensive ceremony. Right?

    According to family lawyer Marilyn Stowe, of Stowe Family Law, it’s not that simple. She says: “The legislation for cohabitation, if it ever happened, wouldn’t equate the remits of divorce with cohabitation. In other words, you wouldn’t be able to get a divorce-style settlement which meets needs. The best would be some sort of redress for economic imbalance.”

    ‘Redress for economic imbalance’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as ‘half the assets please’, but Stowe – who was part of the advisory panel that actually suggested the idea to Sir James – does add that new laws could still be incredibly beneficial.

  • Reasons not to Cohabit with your boyfriend (
    In the early 1970s when I moved in with my boyfriend, there were only 520,000 cohabiting couples in the U.S. Today there are almost 4.75 million. Today, more than half of all couples cohabit prior to marriage, making cohabitation the most common way couples in America begin life together.
    The dramatic increase in cohabitation means that women today face even more pressure to move in with their boyfriend than I did. Yet research shows that living together does not help people prepare for marriage nor does it help them avoid divorce. Cohabitation has come under the intense scrutiny of social scientists in the last three decades because the shift from scandalous thirty years ago to widely accepted today occurred so rapidly.
  • Cohabitation Agreements Taking Place of Prenups for Unwed (
    Living together before tying the knot is not the scandalous prospect it was considered to be in more conservative times, and adults in the U.S. are now putting off marriage at unprecedented rates. With the stigma of “shacking up” diminished, more couples are finding reasons to move in together before marriage, prompting some to lay down a few ground rules with cohabitation agreements.Similar to prenuptial agreements, cohabitation agreements are premarital contracts that are used to specify ownership of assets, define living arrangements and establish a variety of other legally-binding terms. For two unmarried partners who split up after several years of living together and making major joint purchases, a cohabitation agreement can make it fairer, cheaper and less complicated for them to separate their lives.
  • Best predictor of divorce? Age when couples cohabit, study says. (
    “Up until now, we’ve had this mysterious finding that cohabitation causes divorce,” she says. “Nobody’s been able to explain it. And now we have – it was that people were measuring it the wrong way.”
    Couples who begin living together without being married tend to be younger than those who move in after the wedding ceremony – that’s why cohabitation seemed to predict divorce, Professor Kuperburg explains. But once researchers control for that age variable, it turns out that premarital cohabitation by itself has little impact on a relationship’s longevity. Those who began living together, unmarried or married, before the age of 23 were the most likely to later split.
    “Part of it is maturity, part of it is picking the right partner, part of it is that you’re really not set up in the world yet,” she says. “And age has to do with economics.”
  • Does cohabitation lead to more divorces? (
    Premarital cohabitation has increased significantly, and more than 70% of US couples now cohabit before marriage. The major reason supporting premarital cohabitation is that it enables the couple to get know each better and to see whether they get along well enough to embark on marriage. However, counter-intuitively, many studies have found that premarital cohabitation is associated with increased risk of divorce, a lower quality of marriage, poorer marital communication, and higher levels of domestic violence. But there are also studies (although less in number) that refute the negative correlation between premarital cohabitation and divorces.
  • Roommate Romance: Why You Should Have a Cohabitation Agreement (
    Couples who cohabitate face many of the same big decisions that confront married couples, like whose couch they should keep, what color to paint the kitchen, or who pays what bills. While people fondly refer to cohabitation as “playing house” with couples often comporting themselves like their married counterparts, non-married cohabitants do not enjoy the same legal protections afforded married couples. Since cohabitants essentially merge their lives, money, assets, and property, it can be difficult to figure out who gets what if the couple calls it quits. The lack of any legal protection or guidance on the distribution of property after cohabitants break up is why you should have a cohabitation agreement.
  • Britain’s vanishing stepfamilies (

    From Cinderella to Snow White the figure of the stepmother or stepfather is as old as the family itself.

    But new official figures show a dramatic decline in the number of British households in which people are bringing up children from their partner’s previous relationships in the last 10 years.

    According to the Office for National Statistics the number of stepfamilies – a category which includes both married and unmarried parents – plunged by14 per cent in the decade up to the 2011 census.

    The number of such families in England and Wales dropped from 631,000 in 2001 to just 544,000 in 2011.

    Over the same period – which saw a soaring birth rate – the total number of families with dependent children rose by 150,000 to 4.3 million.

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Ezerwoman's Blog

older couple on beach What is marriage?

When do we stop mentoring the truth about marriage?

I submit for your consideration a strange phenomenon.  An increasing number of older men and women are moving in together.  But, it appears to me that their rationale is fear-based.  Perhaps their spouse has died.  They don’t want to be alone.  Financially, it seems practical not to marry and, instead, live together.  Perhaps it seems less complicated to keep their business affairs separate for the sake of their children and grandchildren.  Perhaps insurance coverage or a life-savings will be better protected if they just cohabitate.  After all, it isn’t so much about sex as it is companionship and being a couple in a “couple’s world.”

So, what is a cohabitating senior, especially a cohabitating Christian senior, saying about marriage?

Is marriage all about the joys of pro-creational sex?  Or is it more?

Marriage, from a Biblical worldview, is…

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Verleiding in het huwelijk

165 Overvloedige vrede behoort hun toe die uw wet liefhebben,+ En voor hen is er geen struikelblok.+

22 Plotseling gaat hij haar achterna,*+ als een stier die zowaar naar de slachting gaat, en net alsof hij geboeid* is voor het strenge onderricht van een dwaas, 23 totdat een pijl zijn lever openklieft,+ net als een vogel zich haast naar het klapnet,+ en hij heeft niet geweten dat zijn eigen ziel ermee gemoeid is.* (Spreuken 7:22-23)


die uw wet liefhebben:

(Psalm 1:3): En hij zal stellig worden als een boom, geplant aan waterstromen,+ Die zijn eigen vrucht geeft als het de juiste tijd ervoor is+ En waarvan het gebladerte niet verwelkt,+ 3 En al wat hij doet, zal gelukken.+

(Spreuken 3:1): 3 Mijn zoon, vergeet niet mijn wet,+ en moge uw hart mijn geboden in acht nemen,+

(Jesaja 32:17): 17 En het werk van de [ware] rechtvaardigheid moet vrede worden,+ en de dienst van de [ware] rechtvaardigheid, gerustheid en zekerheid tot onbepaalde tijd.+

(Jesaja 48:18): 18 O indien gij slechts werkelijk aandacht aan mijn geboden zoudt schenken!+ Dan zou uw vrede worden net als een rivier,+ en uw rechtvaardigheid als de golven der zee.+

(1 Korinthiërs 14:33): 33 Want God is geen [God] van wanorde,+ maar van vrede.+ Zoals in alle gemeenten van de heiligen

(Deuteronomium 4:6): En GIJ moet ze onderhouden en volbrengen, want dit is wijsheid+ van UW zijde en verstand+ van UW zijde voor de ogen van de volken die van al deze voorschriften zullen horen, en zij zullen stellig zeggen: ’Deze grote natie is ongetwijfeld een wijs en verstandig volk.’+

(Psalm 119:34): 34 Geef mij verstand, opdat ik uw wet moge nakomen+En opdat ik haar met heel mijn hart moge onderhouden.+


(Jesaja 57:14): 14 En men zal stellig zeggen:* ’Hoogt op, hoogt op! Baant de weg.+ Verwijdert elk obstakel van de weg van mijn volk.’”+

(Mattheüs 13:21): 21 Hij heeft echter geen wortel in zich, maar blijft een tijdlang, en nadat er wegens het woord verdrukking of vervolging is ontstaan, wordt hij terstond tot struikelen gebracht.+

(Romeinen 14:13): 13 Laten wij elkaar daarom niet langer oordelen,+ maar neemt liever deze beslissing,+ een broeder+ geen struikelblok+ in de weg te leggen noch iets waarover hij kan vallen.

(1 Petrus 2:6): Want in de Schrift is vervat: „Ziet! Ik leg in Si̱on een steen, uitverkoren, een fundament-hoeksteen, kostbaar; en wie er geloof in oefent, zal geenszins teleurgesteld worden.”*+

(Mattheüs 24:10): 10 Dan zullen ook velen tot struikelen worden gebracht+ en elkaar verraden en elkaar haten.+

(Markus 4:17):17 Zij hebben echter geen wortel in zich, maar blijven een tijdlang; zodra er daarna wegens het woord verdrukking of vervolging ontstaat, worden zij tot struikelen gebracht.+

(Lukas 8:13): 13 Die op de rots, zijn zij die het woord met vreugde ontvangen wanneer zij het horen, maar dezen hebben geen wortel; zij geloven een tijdlang, maar in een tijd van beproeving vallen zij af.+

(2 Timotheüs 1:15): 15 Dit weet gij, dat allen in* het [district] A̱sia+ zich van mij hebben afgekeerd.+ Tot hen behoren Fy̱gelus en Hermo̱genes.


Overvloedige vrede behoort hun toe die Gods wet liefhebben, en voor hen is er geen struikelblok.  —  Psalm 119:165.

22 Plotseling gaat hij haar achterna,*+ als een stier die zowaar naar de slachting gaat, en net alsof hij geboeid* is voor het strenge onderricht van een dwaas, 23 totdat een pijl zijn lever openklieft,+ net als een vogel zich haast naar het klapnet,+ en hij heeft niet geweten dat zijn eigen ziel ermee gemoeid is.*+ (Spreuken 7:22,23)

Wordt niet misleid:+ God laat niet met zich spotten.+ Want wat een mens zaait, dat zal hij ook oogsten;+ (Galaten 6:7)

Comfort ye

Teken van verbond (Photo credit: rogiro)

Als je in de verleiding komt een ongeoorloofde relatie te beginnen, denk dan goed na over de schadelijke gevolgen van hoererij en overspel. (Spreuken 7:22,23; Galaten 6:7). Personen die immoraliteit bedrijven, krijgen niet Jehovah’s goedkeuring en brengen hun partner en zichzelf schade toe (Malachai 2:13,14). Denk aan de voordelen die het heeft eerbaar te blijven. Je hebt dan niet alleen de hoop op eeuwig leven maar je hebt nu al het beste leven dat er is, én een rein geweten (Spreuken 3:1,2). Hou van de waarheid en zie er in deze goddeloze tijd „nauwlettend op toe hoe gij wandelt, niet als onwijzen, maar als wijzen” (Efeziërs 5:15,16). Jehovah heeft ons alles gegeven wat we nodig hebben om onszelf te beschermen tegen de valstrikken van Satan (=het kwaad) en ’pal te staan’, zodat we ’alle brandende projectielen van de goddeloze kunnen blussen’!  —  (Efeziërs 6:11,16). w12 15/8 4:18, 19

10 Ten slotte, blijft kracht verwerven+ in [de] Heer en in de macht+ van zijn sterkte. 11 Doet de volledige wapenrusting van God aan,+ opdat GIJ pal kunt staan tegen de kuiperijen*+ van de Duivel; 12 want onze strijd*+ is niet tegen bloed en vlees, maar tegen de regeringen,+ tegen de autoriteiten,+ tegen de wereldheersers*+ van deze duisternis, tegen de goddeloze geestenkrachten+ in de hemelse gewesten. 13 Neemt daarom de volledige wapenrusting* van God op,+ opdat GIJ op de boze dag weerstand kunt bieden en, na alle dingen grondig gedaan te hebben, pal kunt staan.+

14 Staat daarom pal, UW lendenen omgord+ met waarheid,+ en aan hebbend het borstharnas van rechtvaardigheid,+ 15 en UW voeten+ geschoeid met de toerusting* van het goede nieuws van vrede.+ 16 Neemt bovenal het grote schild des geloofs op,+ waarmee GIJ alle brandende projectielen van de goddeloze zult kunnen blussen.+ 17 Neemt ook de helm+ der redding aan en het zwaard+ van de geest,+ dat is Gods woord,+ 18 terwijl GIJ met elke vorm van gebed+ en smeking bij elke gelegenheid in geest blijft bidden.+ En blijft daartoe wakker met alle standvastigheid en met smeking ten behoeve van alle heiligen, 19 ook voor mij, dat mij bekwaamheid om te spreken+ gegeven mag worden wanneer ik mijn mond open, om met vrijmoedigheid van spreken+ het heilige geheim van het goede nieuws bekend te maken,+ 20 waarvoor ik als een gezant+ in ketenen optreed, opdat ik in verband daarmee vrijmoedig* mag spreken zoals ik behoor te spreken.+ (Efeziërs 6:10-20)


Voorgaande artikelen:

Beminnen en pespecteren van man en vrouw

Vader tegenhanger van de moeder

Vaderschap ingesteld verbondschap door de Schepper

Vaderschap complex en uniek verschijnsel 1/2

Vaderschap complex en uniek verschijnsel 2/2

Engelse versie:/ English version: Temptation in matrimony


Aanvullende lectuur:

  1. Vreemdgaan
  2. Vreemdgaan in de wereld
  3. Relatie tot medemens
  4. Redding, vertrouwen en actie in Jezus #9 Omgang met anderen
  5. Hoe de Satan vandaag rond toert
  6. Het woord Homoseksueel niet in de bijbel
  7. Losgeslagen communicatie in een Vaderschap in herziening
English: Holy Matrimony sacrament- part of car...

Heilig Huwelijk sacrament – Deel van snijwerk op het Alan Durst oksaal bij Woodchurch (Foto credit: Wikipedia)


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