Cohabitating Seniors and the Meaning of Marriage

Today older persons seem to question their position with each other and wonder if they have made the right choice some years ago or if they should not choose to bring some change in their relationship.

Some may have to face the natural loss of their partner, but others willingly looked to break their bonds and go other ways. Though loneliness is not always easy to cope with.

In many countries the fiscal situation for people who are not married is in the advantage of having more money over in the own pocket. But sometimes this does not make it so easy for the one who lives the longest and for the children of such not officially married partners. In many countries, like Belgium, the state offered a ‘Co-habiting contract’ for such people who do not want to go for marriage vows but want to secure their finances with each other.

In the picture today, may also be that several men or women once their partner of the other sex died or is gone away, they prefer to go to live together, either to share the bed or not with somebody of the same sex.

Everybody should know where they would like to go to in their life and which decisions they want to take, this to accordance with their own believes. For lovers of God it is clear that they best follow the instructions available in the Holy Scriptures. There they do not have to consider only their own relationship but also their relationship with God.

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  • Divorce law overhaul: Is there really any point to marriage anymore? (telegraph.co.uk)
    The only problem with a no-nup is that it till doesn’t provide the same sort of divorce rights, or rights around children, that marriage would, meaning marriage still wins out. So when Sir James Munby, president of the High Court Family Division and the most senior family judge in England and Wales, recently spoke about wanting to give unmarried couples similar legal protections to married ones, I was pretty thrilled.
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    It makes me wonder if there’s really any point to getting married anymore. If I meet The One, we can live happily (and financially safely enough) without having to publicly declare our love for each other in an overly expensive ceremony. Right?

    According to family lawyer Marilyn Stowe, of Stowe Family Law, it’s not that simple. She says: “The legislation for cohabitation, if it ever happened, wouldn’t equate the remits of divorce with cohabitation. In other words, you wouldn’t be able to get a divorce-style settlement which meets needs. The best would be some sort of redress for economic imbalance.”

    ‘Redress for economic imbalance’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as ‘half the assets please’, but Stowe – who was part of the advisory panel that actually suggested the idea to Sir James – does add that new laws could still be incredibly beneficial.

  • Reasons not to Cohabit with your boyfriend (mojiakubudel.com)
    In the early 1970s when I moved in with my boyfriend, there were only 520,000 cohabiting couples in the U.S. Today there are almost 4.75 million. Today, more than half of all couples cohabit prior to marriage, making cohabitation the most common way couples in America begin life together.
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    The dramatic increase in cohabitation means that women today face even more pressure to move in with their boyfriend than I did. Yet research shows that living together does not help people prepare for marriage nor does it help them avoid divorce. Cohabitation has come under the intense scrutiny of social scientists in the last three decades because the shift from scandalous thirty years ago to widely accepted today occurred so rapidly.
  • Cohabitation Agreements Taking Place of Prenups for Unwed (blogs.lawyers.com)
    Living together before tying the knot is not the scandalous prospect it was considered to be in more conservative times, and adults in the U.S. are now putting off marriage at unprecedented rates. With the stigma of “shacking up” diminished, more couples are finding reasons to move in together before marriage, prompting some to lay down a few ground rules with cohabitation agreements.Similar to prenuptial agreements, cohabitation agreements are premarital contracts that are used to specify ownership of assets, define living arrangements and establish a variety of other legally-binding terms. For two unmarried partners who split up after several years of living together and making major joint purchases, a cohabitation agreement can make it fairer, cheaper and less complicated for them to separate their lives.
  • Best predictor of divorce? Age when couples cohabit, study says. (debatepolitics.com)
    “Up until now, we’ve had this mysterious finding that cohabitation causes divorce,” she says. “Nobody’s been able to explain it. And now we have – it was that people were measuring it the wrong way.”
    Couples who begin living together without being married tend to be younger than those who move in after the wedding ceremony – that’s why cohabitation seemed to predict divorce, Professor Kuperburg explains. But once researchers control for that age variable, it turns out that premarital cohabitation by itself has little impact on a relationship’s longevity. Those who began living together, unmarried or married, before the age of 23 were the most likely to later split.
    “Part of it is maturity, part of it is picking the right partner, part of it is that you’re really not set up in the world yet,” she says. “And age has to do with economics.”
  • Does cohabitation lead to more divorces? (psychologytoday.com)
    Premarital cohabitation has increased significantly, and more than 70% of US couples now cohabit before marriage. The major reason supporting premarital cohabitation is that it enables the couple to get know each better and to see whether they get along well enough to embark on marriage. However, counter-intuitively, many studies have found that premarital cohabitation is associated with increased risk of divorce, a lower quality of marriage, poorer marital communication, and higher levels of domestic violence. But there are also studies (although less in number) that refute the negative correlation between premarital cohabitation and divorces.
  • Roommate Romance: Why You Should Have a Cohabitation Agreement (herstontennesseefamilylaw.com)
    Couples who cohabitate face many of the same big decisions that confront married couples, like whose couch they should keep, what color to paint the kitchen, or who pays what bills. While people fondly refer to cohabitation as “playing house” with couples often comporting themselves like their married counterparts, non-married cohabitants do not enjoy the same legal protections afforded married couples. Since cohabitants essentially merge their lives, money, assets, and property, it can be difficult to figure out who gets what if the couple calls it quits. The lack of any legal protection or guidance on the distribution of property after cohabitants break up is why you should have a cohabitation agreement.
  • Britain’s vanishing stepfamilies (telegraph.co.uk)

    From Cinderella to Snow White the figure of the stepmother or stepfather is as old as the family itself.

    But new official figures show a dramatic decline in the number of British households in which people are bringing up children from their partner’s previous relationships in the last 10 years.

    According to the Office for National Statistics the number of stepfamilies – a category which includes both married and unmarried parents – plunged by14 per cent in the decade up to the 2011 census.

    The number of such families in England and Wales dropped from 631,000 in 2001 to just 544,000 in 2011.

    Over the same period – which saw a soaring birth rate – the total number of families with dependent children rose by 150,000 to 4.3 million.

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Ezerwoman's Blog

older couple on beach What is marriage?

When do we stop mentoring the truth about marriage?

I submit for your consideration a strange phenomenon.  An increasing number of older men and women are moving in together.  But, it appears to me that their rationale is fear-based.  Perhaps their spouse has died.  They don’t want to be alone.  Financially, it seems practical not to marry and, instead, live together.  Perhaps it seems less complicated to keep their business affairs separate for the sake of their children and grandchildren.  Perhaps insurance coverage or a life-savings will be better protected if they just cohabitate.  After all, it isn’t so much about sex as it is companionship and being a couple in a “couple’s world.”

So, what is a cohabitating senior, especially a cohabitating Christian senior, saying about marriage?

Is marriage all about the joys of pro-creational sex?  Or is it more?

Marriage, from a Biblical worldview, is…

View original post 359 more words

Father counterpart of the mother

Today we can see that our society has distorted the ideas about man, woman, relationships between people, matrimony and how humankind has to behave and take care of next generations.

Woman and Man (Alternately, Husband and Wife)

Woman and Man (Alternately, Husband and Wife) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the old times ‘Marriage‘ was about a sacred union of one man and one woman for life. In today’s society it is more considered as a union which can be taken on for some time, between two people, who do not necessary have to love each other for always, or have to have the opposite gender. For lots of people it may be an arrangement for economical and practical reasons and should not be necessary be taken before having sex with the other person, nor does it have to mean for them they have to stay committed to that one person.

In Genesis 2nd chapter is written:

18 Then Jehovah God said: “It is not good for the man to continue to be alone. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.”+ (NWT)

18 And Jehovah* God went on to say: “It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement* of him.”+ (RefB)

as a complement {Or, “counterpart,” something fitting for him } of him:

(Proverbs 31:11): 11 In her the heart of her owner* has put trust, and there is no gain lacking.+

(1 Corinthians 11:8,9): 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman came from man.+ 9 And what is more, man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman for the sake of the man.+

(1 Timothy 2:13): 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.+

(Genesis 2:22): 22 And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man.+

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The man’s being alone is not good; I will make him a helper to match him. — Gen. 2:18, “Byington.”

In Harmony before Matrimony (1805), James Gill...

In Harmony before Matrimony (1805), James Gillray caricatured a courtship in which the couple sings together from Duets de l’Amour. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jehovah knows everything there is to know about mankind and marriage. He implanted a sexual need in humans so that they would “be fruitful and become many.” (Genesis 1:28) God understands feelings of loneliness, for prior to creating the first woman, he said the words of today’s text. Jehovah is also fully aware of the joy possible within the bonds of matrimony. (Proverbs 5:15-18) Because of sin and imperfection, no present-day marriage is perfect. Among Jehovah’s servants, however, wedlock can result in true happiness if God’s Word is followed. For instance, consider Paul’s clear counsel on intimate relations in marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

 

7 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is better for a man not to touch* a woman; but because of the prevalence of sexual immorality,* let each man have his own wife+ and each woman have her own husband.+ Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband.+ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control. However, I say this by way of concession, not as a command. But I wish all men were as I am. Nevertheless, each one has his own gift+ from God, one in this way, another in that way. (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)

It is not Scripturally required that marriage mates limit sexual relations to efforts to produce offspring. Such intimacy can rightly fill emotional and physical needs. But perverted practices certainly do not please God. w12 5/15 1:9, 10

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Preceding articles:

Gender roles and Multitasking parents

 Father and motherhood

 Dignified role for the woman

 Having children interferes with work

Dutch version /Nederlandstalige versie: Vader tegenhanger van de moeder

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Find more literature:

  1. Walking alone?
  2. What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?
  3. Companionship
  4. Creator and Blogger God 5 Things to tell
  5. Book Review: Ann Gauger, Douglas Axe & Casey Luskin, Science & Human Origins. Seattle: Discovery Institute Press, 2012.124pp.
  6. Story of Jesus’ birth begins long before the New Testament
  7. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
  8. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  9. Manifests for believers #2 Changing celibacy requirement
  10. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  11. Being religious has benefits even in this life
  12. I started off with the little things….
  13. Three keys to a happy marriage
  14. In marriage not wounding each other
  15. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love
  16. Love and win
  17. For God loves me
  18. The task given to us to love each other
  19. The Seven Daughters of Eve

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  • Is marriage just a social union? (illustrationstoencourage.wordpress.com)
    In God’s eyes, marriage is much more than a mere social arrangement. It is a sacred union between a man and a woman. The Bible says: “From the beginning of creation ‘[God] made them male and female. On this account a man will leave his father and mother, and the two will be one flesh’ . . . Therefore what God yoked together let no man put apart.” *Mark 10:6-9; Genesis 2:24.

    The words, “what God yoked [or, joined] together,” do not mean that marriages are made in heaven. Rather, by pointing to our Creator as the Originator of the marriage arrangement, the Bible emphasizes the seriousness of this union. Couples who see their marriage in that light treat it as a sacred, permanent bond, thus strengthening their determination to make their marriage a success. They further increase their prospects for success when they turn to the Bible for guidance in fulfilling their respective roles as husband and wife.

  • Real marriage (williamb97.wordpress.com)
    David says that we find favor with God when we find a godly wife. God wants people to be married. But married in the way and by the definition that He has set.This is going to sound really harsh and maybe even mean spirited, but all I am doing is clearing the air about what God says about Marriage and Homosexuality. Homosexuals will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Think that sounds wrong or that I am being judgmental? Nope, this comes straight from God’s Word
  • Ask John Calvin: What is a wife for? (annsechrist.wordpress.com)
    There was no place for man being the “spiritual” spouse, and women being the “practical” one, created to fulfill a man’s sexual needs, produce children, and manage the home. Though this was a common philosophy of the day andcontains a bit of truth, the Scriptures—and Calvin—so obviously disagreed. A wife is the “inseparable associate of his life,” which must mean she is intelligent, companionable, talented, and fully able to comealongside or “across from” her husband to help him with his mission in life.Part of this mission may be to cuddle in bed, carry his children, cook his meals, and teach his sons and daughters how to spell. But that should not at all detract from the understanding that her mission is to inseparably associate herself with every aspect of his life in which she can prove herself helpful, be it business accounting, back massages, writing letters and making phone calls, editing books, research and writing, understanding and being able to discuss the gospel, buying land, giving to charity, making decisions he would have made when he is absent, and in every way proving herself a help. She should truly be a crown that does not diminish the glory of God in her husband, but causes it to show the brighter. Those are my thoughts, but read Calvin. His opinion is what you really want to hear. It’s a long quote, but hopefully my (added) paragraph breaks will help you to process it! Here it is:
  • Cohabitating Seniors and the Meaning of Marriage (ezerwoman.wordpress.com)
    An increasing number of older men and women are moving in together.  But,it appears to me that their rationale is fear-based.  Perhaps their spouse has died.  They don’t wantto be alone.  Financially, it seems practical not to marry and, instead, live together.  Perhaps it seems less complicated to keep their business affairs separate for the sake of their children and grandchildren.  Perhaps insurance coverage ora life-savings will be better protected if theyjustcohabitate.  After all, it isn’t so much about sex as it is companionship and being a couple in a “couple’s world.”So, what isacohabitating senior, especiallyacohabitating Christian senior, saying about marriage?Is marriage all about the joys ofpro-creational sex?  Or is it more?Marriage, from a Biblical worldview, is the practice of generational faithfulness.  It is the union of one man and one woman with all that they uniquely bring into partnership for the benefit of family and community.  In God’s words, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV).
  • A Mother’s Take on Intimacy (mealsdeals31thrills.wordpress.com)
    We’ve all heard stories or statistics about how physical intimacy effects men and women differently – usually as a warning to non-married adolescents. But this was not an accident. God did it on purpose.
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    God created us women to be organizers, list-makers, Do-ers, Feel-ers, Listeners, Care-takers. He knew we would zero in on those roles that cause us to put others first, so He created man with a strong physical desire to help remind us to enjoy our husbands.
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    In case you weren’t aware, it just so happens that the only way to become a mother is through physical intimacy – the very thing our husbands most desire, not from an unhealthy or dirty intention our society has sometimes made it to be, but as a way of expressing the love between one another. (I suppose in this day and age you could argue we have science that can help us, but I’m referring to the first and most natural way, before the science existed.)
  • Our Home and Environs – Part 1 (sonlightdevotional.org)

    One of the greatest needs in the world today is proper home life, in particular, and good human relations, in general.

    Life, on a whole (which comes from God), is taken so lightly (from conception to termination) that regard and respect are no longer qualities associated with man dealing with man.

  • How a wife can defeat her husband. (wretchednetwork.wordpress.com)
    It is better to live in a desert land, than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. (Proverbs 21:19,
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