Importance of parents 2

In our ever changing world coming closer to the End of Times, much more things would go wrong and disturb many people. the world evolving to go to the wrong end makes the position of the parents, the guides of the next generations more important.

Parents

Parents (Photo credit: leef_smith)

The parents would not be able to escape from the consequences things which happen in the world. It is possible their family would also be tested be what is going on. How can you keep these problems from arising in your family? Clearly, every member of every family needs to learn and to value some principles that rule out abusive and wrong conduct. The best place to find that kind of guidance is in God’s Word, the Bible.

The parents are the once who should take care in the first instance of the children they brought on to this earth and should raise. True Christians realize that the Creator God has provided a manual for the world. It is available for all those who like to know how the world is, what the world can do and how the world is to evolve. The Originator, Creator of all things gave His Guide to the world, with all His principles. Those full instructions are recorded in the Book of books, the Bible. God his Word has not changed, though the world has changed a lot and tried everything to destroy that Word.

God sees every deed we carry out, even those that are hidden to most humans. The Bible says:

“All things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.” (Hebrews 4:13)

“Love,” the Bible tells us, “is a perfect bond of union.” (Colossians 3:14)

As described in the Bible, love is not simply a feeling. It is defined by the way it motivates — by the conduct it prompts and the deeds it forbids. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) By love man and wife should come together and unite to be with child. Making children out of love, they shall have to receive the full love parents can give. In the family, showing love means treating each member with dignity, respect, and kindness. It means living in harmony with God’s view of each family member. God gives each one an honourable and important role.

The parents do have to rip the cover off those frauds in this world and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. they have to wake up from their sleep they perhaps had previously in this world full of many traditions not according to the Will of God. Uniting man and woman as wife and husband they should try to find the light Christ will show them. They have to watch their steps and use their head. They shall become confronted with many opportunities and will have to make the most of every chance they get.

These are desperate times! Therefore we must be observant and not live carelessly, unthinkingly. Parents have to make sure they understand what the Master wants. The apostle Paul gives advice like not to drink too much wine, which cheapens the parents their life. They better drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of Him.

Jesus Christ has given the world his good example how to behave. Out of respect for Christ, they should be, like every person who calls himself or herself a Christian, courteously reverent to one another. Wives, should understand and support their husbands in ways that show their support for Christ. The husband who provides leadership to his wife, should do this in the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, should go all out in their love for their wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. As Christ’s love makes the church whole, his love makes also the family to one unit, blessed in his name. His words evoke not only the beauty of the church, the ecclesia or parish, but of every member of the household. Everything Christ did and said was designed to bring the best out of his followers. In the same way parents should, as part of the body of Christ, carry the unselfish love with them, dressing each other in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.

As the family head, the father is to take the lead in showing love. He understands that a Christian father is not given license to be a tyrant, abusing his power over his wife or children. Rather, he looks to Christ as his example in headship.

21 Be in subjection to one another+ in fear of Christ. 22 Let wives be in subjection+ to their husbands as to the Lord, 23 because a husband is head of his wife+ as the Christ also is head of the congregation,+ he being a savior of [this] body. 24 In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.+ 25 Husbands, continue loving YOUR wives,+ just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it,+ 26 that he might sanctify it,+ cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word,+ 27 that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor,+ not having a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.+

28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it,+ as the Christ also does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body.+  (Ephesians 5:21-23- 25-27)

Parents Cerebral Palsy - Children both NO C.P....

Parents Cerebral Palsy – Children both NO C.P. * Spring 1978 (Photo credit: Whiskeygonebad)

Though parents must be cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16) should in their wedding flee from the desires incidental to youth and should start pursuing righteousness, faith, love, peace, with the willingness to share everything with their partner and the offspring. (2 Timothy 2:22) They should do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egoistic intentions. In the household nothing may be done through strife or vainglory, but should be done in lowliness of mind letting each esteem the other better than himself. (Philippians 2:3)

So the man must be tender and loving with his wife and patient and gentle with his children. He loyally should protect them and give his all to prevent anything from happening that might rob them of their peace, their innocence, or their sense of trust and safety.

Likewise, the wife and mother has a role of vital importance and dignity. The Bible uses the protective instincts of mothers in the animal kingdom to illustrate how protective Jehovah and Jesus can be.

37 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the killer of the prophets+ and stoner+ of those sent forth to her,+—how often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks together under her wings!+ But YOU people did not want it. (Matthew 23:37)

A human mother, bound by law to her husband while he is alive, (Romans 7:2) should likewise be staunchly protective of her children. Lovingly, she is quick to put their safety and well-being ahead of her own. The parents do not allow abuse of power, bullying, or intimidation to enter into their dealings with each other or with their children; nor do they allow their children to use such tactics on one another.

Parents should take the Word of God at heart and should also let their children know that infallible Word. In the Bible they can find the basic principles that can help. Many fathers have found that they and their families benefit when they follow the wisdom found in the Bible.

Surely there are many things parents can do for their children, including the sacrifices they shall have to make to feed them and provide them with an adequate home. Parents would not do such things if their children were not important to them. Yet, if they do not spend significant amounts of time with their children, they might conclude that the parents care more for other things, such as their job, their friends, or their hobbies, than they do for them.

Parents should be aware of those feelings of the children and should take care that the children always shall be able to feel that the parents are there for them. Marriage is a Divine institution and each person playing a role in the unity God wanted to see, from the beginning of the world, should make the best out of his role working for the other and being ready for the other, out of love. Today we can find couples of the same sex, but originally God provided the first act of marital union so that there may be a further population. The basic pattern by the creation given is simple – a man (male) will leave the confines of parental authority (again male and female) and cleave to his wife (female) and thus become one flesh.

This creation ordinance was also affirmed in the teaching of the Nazarene Jesus Christ. When questioned on the issue of the validity of divorce, he reminded his audience that the first couple were male and female and then quoted Genesis 2:24.

24 That is why a man will leave his father and his mother+ and he must stick to his wife* and they must become one flesh.+ (Genesis 2:24)

The master Jesus said:

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother+ and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’?+ (Matthew 19:5).

Man and woman were to be united, joined to be one body, to “be one flesh”. (1 Corinthians 6:16)

Today we should still have the continuance of this Divine design of marital union where man and woman, becoming parent should not depart from each other until death comes in between.

31 “For this reason a man will leave [his] father and [his] mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”+ (Ephesians 5:31)

4 Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement,+ for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.*+ (Hebrews 13:4)

10 To the married people I give instructions, yet not I but the Lord,+ that a wife should not depart from her husband;+ (1 Corinthians 7:10)

We all should try to become good parents, fulfilling the Wish of God and His creation.

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Preceding articles:

Importance of parents 1

Father and motherhood

Poverty and conservative role patterns

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

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Find also:

  1. Time of the end
  2. A learning process for each of us
  3. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  4. Companionship
  5. Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair
  6. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #4 The Family pact
  7. Parenthood made more difficult
  8. Having children interferes with work
  9. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  10. Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive
  11. Gender Roles, What?
  12. Dignified role for the woman
  13. Gender roles and Multitasking parents
  14. Surviving Motherhood: things to get excited about, right now
  15. Avoiding the big questions
  16. Bible a guide – Bijbel als gids
  17. Life and attitude of a Christian
  18. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator
  19. God helper and deliverer
  20. The Spirit of God brings love, hope and freedom
  21. The Spirit of God imparts love,inspires hope, and gives liberty
  22. Choices
  23. Wishing to do the will of God
  24. Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives
  25. For those who make other choices
  26. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  27. Joy: Foundation for a Positive Life
  28. Thirst for happiness and meaning

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Also of interest:

  1. Men and Women: Equal yet Different
  2. What The Bible Says About The Role of Women
  3. Commentary on Staying Married Is Not About Staying in Love, Part 1 by John Piper
  4. A Right Understanding of Marriage

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  • Equal? (dizzydaisydoo.wordpress.com)
    Are men and women a) equal in the full definition of the word, or b) are they equal with different roles, or c) are they not equal?  (okay, it’s definitely not c.) If you think it is, you really need to re-read the Bible.)
  • A Comparison Of Rahab In Bible (dwilliamcruise.wordpress.com)
    Surely, a quality Christian education may be the most valuable gift any child can receive. Through the guidance of Christian parents and teachers, children will become mature Christians, devoted to a life of loving “the Lord thy God with all thy heart, together with all thy soul, and just about all the thy mind” (Matthew 22:37b), reflective of Christ’s love that dwells within them.
  • Why does God hate divorce? (altruistico.wordpress.com)
    Malachi 2:16 is the oft-quoted passage that tells how God feels about divorce. “‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel.” But this passage says much more than that. If we back up to verse 13, we read, “You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, ‘Why does he not?’ Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.”
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    God clearly explains His reasons for esteeming marriage so highly. He says it was He who “made them one” (Malachi 2:15). Marriage was God’s idea. If He designed it, then He gets to define it. Any deviation from His design is abhorrent to Him. Marriage is not a contract; it is a covenant. Divorce destroys the whole concept of covenant that is so important to God.
  • Does the Bible Say that Women are Distinctly Under the Authority of Their Fathers? (afittinguncertainty.wordpress.com)
    As both experience in the world and the Bible testify, the instruments of interpretation (humans) are at our best bent, and at our worst self-servingly disingenuous to the facts in front of us. I think that true humility consists in an understanding of our own fallibility when it comes to matters of interpretation (that goes for all interpretation, and it gives rise to this blog’s title).
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    Within the Christian context in which I was brought up, people believe (I would even call it an assumption) that the father of girls has a specific authority over that girl that is distinct from what he has over boys. There’s nothing “creepy” about it–the (well-meaning) idea is that the father is supposed to protect his daughter by keeping bad boys away from her (this mostly crops up during discussions of relationships). This comports with experience up to a point–most people think that young girls (like 13) do need to be protected to a degree (experience differs about whether this is distinct from the protection of, say, a 13 year-old boy, but that’s not the point of this post). But I have heard it (and seen it acted on) many times, that before a girl can date a guy (or “court” or whatever you prefer to call that), the guy has to get the approval of the girl’s father. This includes the father’s ability to say “no” when both the girl and the boy want to date. I have seen guys “date” their hopefully future girlfriend’s dad, where the dad hangs out with him, makes him read books, etc, to “vet” him. Note that there is no corresponding “vetting” of a girl from the boy’s parents, which is why I frame the question the way that I chose to (“Does the Bible say that women are distinctly under the authority of their fathers?” The “distinctly” is doing a lot of work in that sentence, as it does in practice).This leads to my question: Where does the Bible proscribe, or even describe, this practice? This practice does not pass my definition of compelling. There is no text, or stream of texts, or coherent theme throughout Scripture, that rules out a mutually exclusive conclusion (such a conclusion would be: the Bible has nothing to say about a distinct authority fathers have over their daughters, so it is up to the conscience of the individual family–I did not say “father” because that presumes that fathers have a distinct authority for such decisions–determine what that means). In other words, this idea that women are specially under their fathers’ authority (until marriage) is pretty far into the “interpretation-dominant” area of the compelling spectrum.
  • What’s “Biblical” About It? (kingdomventurers.com)
    Regarding male and female behavior I’ve come to the conclusion that masculinity and femininity are social contrivances or social regulators which help us navigate our relationships.  Again, the Bible does not tell men how to behave like a man or a woman how to behave like a woman.  The Bible does tell us in very simple general statements how we as men and women are to relate to the opposite sex and to each other.  The Bible also provides us with examples of what men find attractive in a woman (e.g., the Shulammite woman of The Song of Solomon & the industrious woman in Proverbs 31) and what women find attractive in men (the Ruth/Boaz story). Masculine or feminine qualities, if there are such things, are worked out between each man and woman in the give and take of relationship. They certainly are not the rubber stamping of contrived gender roles promoted by such “Let’s-Get-This-Nailed-Down” Conferences.
  • Godly Parenting & the Bible by J. C. Ryle (ilyston.wordpress.com)
    See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ.
  • Sharing Jesus with Your Children (ourdailybread101.wordpress.com)
    This is the mistake so many parents are making today. They spend their time telling their children “Don’t do this. Don’t do that. That’s wrong.” By such behavior, these parents are failing an entire generation. Many times, children are never shown the riches of Jesus Christ. In every 24-hour cycle, there are a multitude of teachable moments for sharing and modeling life in Christ.
  • Controlling Our Children? (yesihomeschool5.wordpress.com)
    The most recent idea I have run across is the thought that we cannot and should not control our children, but rather, only the Holy Spirit can do such. I believe that is completely unbiblical hogwash! Of course the Holy Spirit can guide and direct a saved child that is learning to be a spirit filled believer, however, the Bible also teaches not only that children are to obey their parents, but, that the parents are, in fact, to demand the obedience, and yes, to control their children.
  • A Terrible Parent…. (derrickskelton.wordpress.com)
    Here I am a Children’s Pastor, weekly sharing the importance of God’s word to kids and families… and I haven’t purchased by own kid the appropriate Bible. While this made me feel like a “Terrible Parent”, I was reminded of how we all are imperfect which is why there is a need for God…. As parents we all make mistakes.. WE have days we wish could be erased in our parenting… But how great it is to know  that God knows where we are and exactly what we need…. and even more HE knows what our kids need…. I pray daily that my failures in life will not be my kids failures… And when they see me fail…they also see me “get back up”…..
  • Version 40.4: The Bible: A Word For All Ages (lie77.wordpress.com)
    Regardless of your age, become a “little child” for a minute. Come to Jesus as one would to a loving parent. No requests. No expectations. You don’t have to brush your teeth or comb your hair. Simply come and linger in His presence, experiencing His love for you. Why not take a moment to do this right now? Learning from the Bible is the best way to build a “rock-solid” spiritual foundation. From the Bible’s inspired pages you will learn who God is, how He wants you to live and how He will guide you.

Having children interferes with work

Today there is a negative attitude towards having children and taking care of children.

Family Portrait

Family Portrait (Photo credit: Gideon Tsang)

It’s true that having children interferes with work. Lots of people do find it hurts their career in the short and long term. some do find it normal that those who get kids should be penalised in their professional career and in the later years of retirement. For them it is very logical that those who stayed at home can not receive retirement allowance for those years they were not productive for the economical world.

As it should, in a fair world. What else can you expect to happen when you take time away from actually doing work? But even if there would be no impact on my career, I still would not want children.

writes .

Breadwinner

SDT-2013-05-breadwinner-moms-1-1

“breadwinner moms” are made up of two very different groups: 5.1 million (37%) are married mothers who have a higher income than their husbands, and 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers.

A recent study by Pew Research in the States, details the trend: In 15 percent of all households of married adults with children under the age of 18, mothers are the sole or primary breadwinner. That’s up from 4 percent back in 1960, and accounts for 5.1 million married mothers who have higher incomes than their husbands.

Stay-at-home dads face many of the economic challenges and concerns as stay-at-home moms — how transitioning from two salaries to one will impact their family, if the time at home might hinder a return to the job force, and whether new roles will cause resentment. But stay-at-home dads often face cultural stigmas about what it means to be a man in America, and what price tag that role should carry.

Paychecks

More women than ever are CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies and in every day households more women are bringing home bigger paychecks than their husbands.
The median total family income of married mothers who earn more than their husbands was nearly $80,000 in 2011, well above the national median of $57,100 for all families with children, and nearly four times the $23,000 median for families led by a single mother.
The income gap between the two groups remains when using personal income as the measure. The median personal income of married mothers who out-earn their husbands was $50,000 in 2011, compared with $20,000 for single moms. Both personal and family income was self-reported. There is a small difference between the median personal income of single mothers and their family income. It could be due to financial contributions of other adult family members such as a cohabiting partner or a parent.

Since 2007 (before the recession officially began) mothers’ views about whether and how much they would like to work had changed significantly. The share of mothers saying their ideal situation would be to work full time increased from 20% in 2007 to 32% in 2012. And the share saying they would prefer not to work at all fell from 29% to 20%.

Gains of women and motherhood

Rally for single parents and their children

Rally for single parents and their children (Photo credit: Greens MP Jamie Parker, Member for Balmain)

A new Pew Research Center survey finds that the public remains of two minds about the gains mothers have made in the workplace–most recognize the clear economic benefits to families, but many voice concerns about the toll that having a working mother may take on children or even marriage.
About three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed. At the same time, two-thirds say it has made it easier for families to live comfortably.

In Belgium this can be clearly seen at the amount of divorces which soar the pan. It’s really far out and most children are just dropped at childcare early in the morning to be fetched late at night to be put in bed. the aim to live comfortably having enough luxury to show off to others has become more important than family life.

Primary child attendant

Making the shift from primary breadwinner to a primary caregiver can be so dramatic, especially if that change comes after a job loss, that it got so much negative press to give them who would consider to stay home a nasty shock. Lots of people are put off by the idea to take a part time job and staying some time at home to take care for the kids.

Many youngsters also find it not done that somebody stays at home not being productive in the world economy, and those who would perhaps originally would love to have a family with kids can not afford children and take all efforts not to be with child.

A house or a child

Facing the cost of children many consider it better to by a house instead spening all that money on a child.

And yes, it costs over $200,000 to raise a child to 18. That’s a lot of money to throw away. You could buy a decent house for that price. But even if everything a child would need is was free, even if I was actually paid for having a child, I still would not want children.

writes to the Natalist World.

Bettering oneself through education

According to them having children interferes with bettering oneself through education. Many think when they have to spend time at bringing up children they themselves would not have enough time for themselves. Having children, according to them also takes away the focus from more important work. There are great opportunities for growth and learning even in our sometimes boring 9-5 desk jobs, so why should people use the other time for taking care of the household? After work should there not be fun?
Leisure has become a very important business in our welfare industry.

Well, parents should see that it should already be fun that they are taking the time to invest in them-self and learning more about their world and that they could get other people involved in what they do with their children. There are not only the out-of school events, sports and games the children can enjoy. Also watching documentaries with the partner and kids or work on puzzles with the children, playing trivial pursuit with the family, or discuss new and fresh topics with them and with the friends of yourself, your partner and new friends the children let you know.
Claiming that children will limit your world is not seeing that they will do the opposite, getting you to know more people outside your daily job.

Studying together

English: The Green Children in Bangladesh

The Green Children in Bangladesh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When you would like to study something new, your kids do not have to be a stand in the way. Things aren’t just going to be different for you – your kids will also feel the effect of you taking on a new project. However, they may be so proud of your attempt to forward your career that they may surprise you and help out around the house to give you extra time to focus. One way to include them in your endeavours is to set up study groups for all of you to sit down and do your homework together. Why not? This shall inspire you both and it will be much more fun for them than the ordinary school work they have to do obligatory.

In the old days, ‘bettering yourself’ was usually related to improving your social status, often through education and certainly by getting a better job. These days, you can take a wider perspective. Life is much more than earning money. We do not have to measure everything in the form of investment for receiving financial gain.

Pets or children

Flexcin International, Inc., a company that makes natural supplements for humans and pets, found that according to its recent survey, more Americans are electing to house dogs over kids.

The company polled 1,250 pet owners nationwide (ages 21 to 30) about their attitudes on child rearing and pet adoption.

When asked what’s a better fit for them, more than half (54 percent) of respondents said dogs; 46 percent said children.

When asked why they prefer dogs, 34 percent of respondents said they’re not sure if they can handle the needs of raising a child; 28 percent said they don’t have the time to raise a child; 21 percent said kids are more expensive than dogs; and 17 percent said they “just love” dogs more than kids.

If it was polling people with pets, specifically the kind likely to care enough to give their kids supplements, I would think they’d be more likely to get a pet-friendly answer by such people than they would the general public.

I’m childfree and have one dog, but I did Not choose pets over kids any more than I choose driving a sports car over being slapped in the face. That is, the two things have little to nothing to do with each other. Sure, I prefer one over the other, but that doesn’t mean that I chose one over the other.

Many people who do have kids also have pets. It’s not like people can only have one or the other. On the other hand, even if, for some reason, I had decided to never have pets, I still wouldn’t want kids. It’s not like I’m required to have either.

Unpleasant burden

The writer let us hear a voice we can hear at many places. She like many youngsters today do not care much for children. Pets or no, children would be nothing but an unpleasant burden to them. they prefer to enjoy undisturbed sex with their partner, without having any commitments to this partner or for any off-springs of their sexual action.

They shudder to think of how much they  would miss out on in life if ever they became a mother or father. Kids would be a stumble bloc at their leg, limiting their freedom where to go and what to do. Parenthood is totally undesirable to them. It has even come so far that many think “kids would ruin their life”.

The reality is that parenthood is not a fairy-tale filled with Kodak moments. It’s nasty business. There are gross bodily functions, dangers, bitter fights, sleepless nights, tantrums, and regrets. It’s not always pretty. But even if the life of parenthood really was all sunshine, rainbows, kisses, hugs, “I love your”s, and macaroni art, I still would not want children.

confirms ‘childfree’.

Overcrowding

To her horror,

the world population is over 7 billion. That’s far too many humans for one small planet with dwindling resources and a climate on the brink of disaster. It’s dangerous. But even if the world were not overpopulated, even if it was somehow underpopulated, I still would not want children.

At an early age youngsters do want to enjoy sex and more than once we find kids who are with child and have to stop further education. Taking time away from school has a high price. This lack of further education may also bring more difficulties to higher a person in a good paid job. Resulting in receiving less income than somebody who studied longer, the children often came in the same street as their parents and because of the family struggles also start misbehaving, sometimes criminally so.

Benefits

But having stopped studies early in adulthood should not be a reason not to progress and to continue taking up knowledge and wisdom.

Having children in such an instance should also not be a burden, but could be used as a blessing. When giving up some time to spend with the kids they also can provide new knowledge and reasons enough to study further on your own.

The final stage is to build a series of stepping stones towards your self-betterment. List all the activities that you do now and assess how you spend your time. Then ask yourself which ones contribute to your aim and how. Get not blindfolded by others or get blind by the financial gain you may receive by not being present for your children but at work for an employer.

The work you have to do at home, is not be paid for in money, but it shall be more profitable to you than man think. You yourself have to make the choice, either to be there for your children or to be there for yourself or a company.

Obligation

SDT-2013-05-breadwinner-moms-1-2

A new Pew Research Center survey finds that the public remains of two minds about the gains mothers have made in the workplace–most recognize the clear economic benefits to families, but many voice concerns about the toll that having a working mother may take on children or even marriage. About three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed. At the same time, two-thirds say it has made it easier for families to live comfortably.

As parents it is the obligation to take care for those who came after sexual enjoyment. There are enough preservative measures if people do not want children, but once they are there they shall have to consider them and have the sense of duty.

Both parents shall have to find answers how to manage properly the household. they shall have to choose who is going to play which role, or how they can divide the household tasks. They shall need to change how they use their time.

Banker-turned-financial-advisor Denise Winston of Money Start Here says that when either parent decides to stay home, it’s important to run the numbers on both sides of the equation. Not only is this important for budgeting, but it helps emphasize how the stay-at-home parent is contributing financially to the household, even when they’re no longer bringing in a traditional salary.

“Ask, how much is child care? That could easily be $2,000 a month. Did you have a housekeeper, commute, laundry service? If one parent is now providing those services, that’s a tremendous savings,” she says.

Winston warns that a parent exiting the workforce might need a crash course in domestic finances.

“When you think about how much money flows through that person’s hands — groceries, back to school, prescriptions — if they’re not into getting a good deal, this could potentially cost the household a ton of money. You have to look at it like a sport, or a business.”

Having children may interfere with many plans, and could require another budget use, but parents should be aware it is not the money which shall make them as happy as the blessings and pleasure those children can bring.

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This is a reaction on: Letters To A Natalist World: I Don’t Want Children Because I Don’t Want Children

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Find also:

  1. What I “Regret” About Being Childfree
  2. Choosing Pets Over Kids?
  3. Why are people choosing pets over kids?
  4. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #8 Work
  5. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #12 Conclusion
  6. Work with joy and pray with love
  7. Gender Roles, What?
  8. Stay-at-Home Dads Get a Crash Course in Family Finances (and Guilt)
  9. Breadwinner Moms
  10. Only I can change my life
  11. Leaving behind the lives we have touched.
  12. The business of this life
  13. Power in the life of certain
  14. A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses
  15. Thirst for happiness and meaning
  16. Be happy that the thorn bush has roses
  17. Suffering produces perseverance
  18. Change
  19. It is a free will choice
  20. Your life the sum total of all your choices
  21. Monotomy of life
  22. Teach children the Bible
  23. Words in the world
  24. We should use the Bible every day
  25. Created to live in relation with God
  26. Life in gratitude opens glory of God
  27. A Living Faith #8 Change
  28. A Living Faith #10: Our manner of Life #2
  29. Choose you this day whom ye will serve

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  • Women rising up as breadwinners of today’s modern family (theage.com.au)
    More Australian women are bringing home the lion’s share of the household income with females nominated as the breadwinner in one in four Australian households.More than half a million Australian households now have a female as the major wage earner – 140,000 more households than a decade ago.Female-breadwinner households are more likely to be couple-only households and households on lower incomes, according to the National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling published Wednesday report.
  • The Stay at Home Mom Hobby Guide (coupons.answers.com)
    For much of the day, stay-at-home moms are busy caring for their children as well as the household. Running errands, cleaning, driving kids to school, and washing loads of laundry are just a few of the tasks of a stay-at-home mom. A hobby can be a great way for a stay-at-home mom to take a little time to explore her own talents. She may love to write, paint pictures, or take photographs. These creative hobbies can help her to relax. A hobby can also contribute to maintaining the family budget. For instance, couponing is a hobby that many moms are interested in. A mom finds coupons and then figures out how to use them to her best advantage. In short, the hobbies of a stay-at-home mom can benefit a family’s finances. The following outlines a selection of hobbies that stay-at-homes may want to look into.
  • Stay At Home Mom… (1luckygal.com)
    I guess at this moment I am moving out of the realm of stay at home motherhood and into the work at home motherhood realm, for a minute I was a working single mom and then I was a working mom and before that I was a stay at home mom. So basically I have done the loop. I know that no matter what your motherhood status is, that we are all mothers. We are all trying very hard to raise a child who will go on to participate in society in an appropriate and independent way.
    +
    Just like there is no reason you should be less or more respected if your doing less of the very hard work of mothering and more of the very hard work of having a career. We should just respect each other because it takes a village and a village missing things like stay at home moms, stay at home dads, two income families, old people keeping track of the neighborhood from their window becomes less of a village then our children deserve.
  • Thought You Noticed More Stay-at-Home Dads? You’re Right! Here’s Why (thebump.com)
    A new study published in the Journal of Family Issues noted that more than half-million dads are staying home with the kids as stay-at-home fathers. The research, conducted by sociologist Karen Z. Kramer of the University of Illinois, noted that when compared to moms staying home with the kids, stay-at-home dads who were not stay at home by choice tended to be older and less educated than moms. Most were also disabled, ill or unemployed. But among men who chose to be a stay-at-home dad, most tended to be higher-income with wives with greater earning potential and had more children under 5.
    +
    While traditional family roles are changing, so too is the make-up of the typical family.Families with two natural parents and two children make up 28 per cent of all families with kids.Couple families with one child are the second most common at 23 per cent, followed by single parents with one child at 15 per cent.

    However, one of the largest increases has been in the number of blended and stepfamilies – doubling in recent decades, to make up almost 11 per cent of Australian families with dependent children, compared with 6.8 per cent in 1986.

  • Study: ‘House Husbands’ More Common Than Ever (nation.time.com)
    More dads are staying at home with the kids, according to a new study in the Journal of Family Issues.The study used data from the Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey to compare characteristics of families in which at least one spouse had a full-time job. Researchers found that between 1976 and 2009, the percentage of households with stay-at-home dads increased steadily.Over the last decade, the percentage of house dads increased to 3.5%, or 550,000 dads. In the ’70s, only 280,000 men were staying at home, representing only 2% of the families analyzed.
  • The Working Mom… an Oxymoron? (milnechelsea.wordpress.com)
    There’s such a thing called “mother’s guilt.”  It starts once she first gives birth and realizes she has some options regarding whether or not she should work.  Interestingly, regardless of her decision, over half of mothers documented by the Working Mother Research Institute in both categories feel guilty.In fact, 51 percent of working mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children.   55 percent of stay-at-home mothers feel guilty for not contributing to family income.  WMRI
  • Number of the Week: Rise of Single Moms Drives Down Overall Income (blogs.wsj.com)
    New data this week showed once again that it’s been a rough couple decades for the American middle class. Median household income barely budged in 2012, and is actually lower, after adjusting for inflation, than it was in 1989. “This isn’t a lost decade for economic gains for Americans,” the Washington Post’s Neil Irwin wrote on Tuesday. “It is a lost generation.”
    +
    The median income for all families with children under 18 was just under $60,000 last year, up about 3% since 1990 after adjusting for inflation. But what might once have been considered the “typical” American family — a married couple, living together, with at least one child under 18 — has done quite a bit better: Their median income was $81,455, up nearly 16% from 1990.The trouble is, such families have become significantly less common over time. In 1980, married couples made up 80% of all families with children. A decade later, that figure had fallen below 75%. Today, it’s less than two-thirds. The number of families headed by single moms — any mother with no spouse present, regardless of whether she has a live-in partner — has increased more than 30% since 1990, to more than 10 million.
    +
    In terms of income growth, single moms aren’t actually doing much worse than their married counterparts — their median income is up 14% since 1990, nearly as much as for married parents. But they earn far less in absolute terms. The median income for a family headed by a single mother was $25,493 in 2012, which means roughly 5 million single mothers earn less than $25,000 a year.
  • Recognizing the “SAHD” (timesunion.com)
    A few male twitter users recently blasted me for neglecting to include stay-at-home dads in various online discussions. I honestly hadn’t given a serious thought to the fact that there are plenty of fathers filling the shoes stay-at-home-moms traditionally stand in. I shamefully admit that I was oblivious to men who are staying home to care for their children. While the definition the US Census Bureau has been using to base their family and living arrangement statistics on produces small numbers, the reality is much more impressive: nearly 1.5 million men are SAHDs (Stay-at-home-dads) today, and this number continues to climb as women are assuming more demanding / valuable roles in the workplace.
  • Building a more father-friendly Calgary (metronews.ca)
    How father-friendly is our city? That’s an important question, and not just for local fathers and families. The answer has implications for women, the economy, and the overall strength of our communities.
  • Pew research reveals more women becoming ‘breadwinners’ (nbc-2.com)
    More women are bringing home the bacon, while their husbands take care of the chores at home.
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    According to the Pew Research Center, mothers are the sole or primary provider in four out of ten U.S. households with children.These ‘breadwinner moms’ are broken into two groups: 37 percent are married mothers while 63 percent are single mothers.

Poverty and conservative role patterns

In the industrialised countries sometimes we can not help to get the impression that women are still more than once looked at as a lust-object.

Until the second half of the 20th century, women in most societies were denied some of the legal and political rights according to men. It has taken a very long time before women got the right to vote and to have their say in the house, community, village, city, country. In many industrialised countries the women got interesting positions but are not yet equally paid and do have to prove themselves twice as hard than the men. They may be allowed to share their thoughts and may have gained significant legal rights, we still can not neglect that women still do not have equality with men. This is evident at home, at their workplace, and in society in general.

In the 1890s when gender role reversals could ...

In the 1890s when gender role reversals could be caricaturized, the idea of an aggressive woman who also smoked was considered laughable. In 1929, Edward Bernays proved otherwise when he convinced women to smoke in public during an Easter parade in Manhattan as a show of defiance against male domination. The demonstrators were not aware that a tobacco company was behind the publicity stunt. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The traditional role of man was to work and make money, which would be used by all in the household. The traditional role of the woman was to stay at home, take care of the children, clean the house, and cook. Because society has always associated money with power, the person bringing home the money had the power. The man often made the final decision on all household matters because he had the money. Women were treated like they were property of men, with no voice about their own fate.

In many countries there are still more job offers for men and is it still easier for a man to climb the social ladder. A man can have both a family and a successful career whereas women who want to fulfil themselves as professionals have to sacrifice their personal life in most cases or, if they choose to have a family as well, they are sometimes regarded as bad mothers because they do not allocate 24 hours a day to raising their children.

Our society takes it for granted that the woman should take care for the children. The woman is made to take care of her own personal life and as a mother, she also has to take care of her children´s life. Lots of man still want to keep up their ‘higher position’ and look down at women who want to step onto the ladder of progress and a better position in business. On the other hand others do find the women who stay at home are lazy and are not willing to contribute to the welfare of the family, where the man should be the one who has to decide everything and the wife only has to follow his will. but many  of the contemporary society do not see that the person wanting to stay at home to take care of the children and the household should not at all be idle. the important task of bringing up children looks to be one of the most neglected tasks of this age. Women will always be important to society because they bring a sense of love, and emotion, and for this reason at least, society should start considering their situation more carefully.

Lathe operator machining parts for transport p...

Lathe operator machining parts for transport planes at the Consolidated Aircraft Corporation plant, Fort Worth, USA (1942). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our society has to become more aware that there is no superior or inferior person. We are all the same, created in the image of God the Divine Creator, so to consider that women are not as good as men is very wrong. Only to give women lesser roles to play in our society is not showing the full respect the woman deserves. We also should teach children that women can not be inferior just because they’re not men. Typecasting also can be a very dangerous sport. Women can do whatever a man can do and parents should let male and female children swap duties and play with the toys they would like to play with. In case a boy wants to play with puppets or dresses they should allow them, but should never try to impose on those children that because they prefer to play with puppets, that they would be gay.

Lots of gender problems we encounter today are provided by the specific typecasting of women’s and men’s roles, in the previous years. It is our willingness how to look at women and men which is going to decide how  people are going to treat others, also those who have a gender complexity or gender questions. The role of women in our society may have changed significantly and positively in the past three decades, but we still may find that girls are pushed by their parents in certain fields of study. Though we must be honest, in countries like Belgium, women do receive many opportunities and are challenged in all sorts of fields which fifty years ago were considered male jobs. A minus point in Belgium is that for several jobs done by women, they are still paid less than men, and that should be corrected.

Child care arrangements for children under age...

Child care arrangements for children under age 5 with employed mothers (by income); low income is defined as below 200% of the federal poverty level; source of data: http://mchb.hrsa.gov/mchirc/chusa_04/pages/0310wm.htm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Women and girls may have many more opportunities and face different challenges today, but often men leave them behind with the children, creating very difficult situations to avoid poverty. When we consider 60% of the average national income and the inability to receive enough income to pay for rent and living costs to be the poverty line than we notice that 14.7% of Belgians live below the poverty line, and that 22% of the women face poverty. Today Belgian industry should shame itself that it is possible that bakeries can ask 2,65€ for a brown loaf of 600 grammes whilst the person is only receiving 822 euros per month for singles and 1,726 euros per month for a couple with two children. Who can live on such a low income when we have to face rents of 750€ to 1200€ for a small flat?
In Belgium, one in seven people have to do with less! Increased energy prices and rising rents and housing affect our purchasing power and especially people with low incomes are there to suffer.

Risk factors for insecurity and poverty include divorce, economic dependence on a ( new ) partner, very low skills, long-term unemployment or weak employment situation, a debt mountain, old age. Retired persons are having it more difficult to cope and are not allowed to earn much extra or they loose their retirement premium. Because women are still living longer than men, they are the worst victim in that poverty range.

That there is still gender inequality we can see at the number of single mothers who take more than 80 % of single-parent families. Female heads of households are at high risk to be below the poverty threshold. After all, they accumulate the problems of struggling families where there is only one breadwinner with the weaker socio – economic position of women and the inefficiency of the social protection, such as inadequate protection of the unpaid care work and too limited compensation for the cost of children.

Married women staying at home form a larger and hidden group under the insecure women. Because of the generalization of the two-earner position the double income has become the average income welfare standard. The shrinking number of working women at home without income or benefit concentrates more and more among the low-skilled women with several children and by parents who made the choice that it is more important to have a spiritual upbringing than a material upbringing. For these women the benefits of a professional job outside the house do not outweigh by the accumulation of work and family responsibilities. Moreover, their lack of education and work experience and their economic dependence on a partner makes them a particularly vulnerable group .

Older single women are affected by the income -based pension. The wage gap against women in the labour market and by an incomplete career as a result of caring for children and relatives, many women receive in retirement hardly the statutory minimum. The fear of not going to receive any allotment making it possible to live properly when retired makes that many women do not want to take on house-duties, and prefer to have their children placed in childcare, while they can create a better and often a more than necessary income for the family.

The legal form that it is not necessary to have the marriage bond of man-woman, but that people can choose either to have a same gender matrimony or a looser living-together or cohabit contract, where people can more easily and legally swap partner, makes the position for the female person even weaker. We only can observe that in the end it seems in most cases the women are left with the children.

In the new-constituent families with the same sex parents, we can find similar questions coming up for whom is going to be the one who takes care for the behavioural education. They also will be looked at by others when one of the partners chooses to take care of the children and to give them special personal love and that extra education the schools are not providing any more.

Photo taken by me as an example of a stay at h...

An example of a stay at home dad and kids. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The number of stay-at-home dads began gradually increasing in the late 20th century, especially in developed Western nations. Though the role is subject to many stereotypes, and men may have difficulties accessing parenting benefits, communities, and services targeted at mothers, it became more socially acceptable by the 2000s, but now it starts loosing interest again because it becomes financially more difficult to survive when there is only one person working in the household.
There are now financial ramifications in deciding whether the mother or father should become the stay-at-home parent. In cases where the woman is the higher-paid parent, it makes more economic sense for her to continue to work while the man takes on the caregiver role.

With the growth of telecommuting, many men are also able to work from home. this made that either the woman or the man can work at home and be there for the children. Differences in parent‘s schedules can also account for some of the stay-at-home dads. Sometimes the father works odd work shifts while the mother has a typical nine-to-five work schedule.
Some retired males who marry a younger woman decide to become stay-at-home dads while their wives work because they want a “second chance” to watch a child grow up in a second or third marriage.

The choice of one of the partners, be it a man or a woman to stay some of the time or most of the time at home, is not looked favourably by the present generation. Those who make such a choice often have to face a very negative attitude from the society around them.

The patronizing attitude taken on by many, makes it difficult for many parents to choose for bringing up their children with the Law of God and getting them to know the Word of God.

Those families who do find it important that their children feel the warmth of a caring family, finding a parent at home when they return from school, receiving that extra information about the Higher Being, are confronted with the negative attitude of our contemporary society for the ancient ‘woman role’ of ‘housewife’, or the contemporary position of ‘houseman’.

It is true that, when we want to be a Christian family, we shall have to make the choice of diving our time between, work, school, leisure time and worship time. This will demand economical sacrifices, but there we should consider what would be the more valuable. Shall the ability to go twice or three times abroad on holiday, having the newest generation of i-phone or tablet, bring happiness?

When we want to be a Christian family should we keep to conservative role patterns? No, Christians also should evolve with time and should be aware of the possibilities they can get to work together as equal partners creating a safe home-ground for their children. They also may look at the Old and New testament examples of how women and men divided their task between each other.

The conservative Christians who do find that women do not have to play any part in decision making and/or in teaching the Word of God, should look better at the many examples given in the Holy Scriptures where women proved a very good asset in the upbringing of children and teaching them the Word of God.

Because that Word of God does not receive enough attention any more in our regions we as parents shall have to make choices and shall have to divide the duties at home to create enough opportunities for both partners to develop professionally well, and to develop as partner and parent, trying to create a place where the Word of God can receive the appropriate place. To succeed in such matter, financial sacrifices shall have to be made, as well as the making of the choice who will spend time at home with the children when. The father as well as the mother should each take some duties in the household and man also shall have to accept that the woman also shall work at the spiritual well-being of the child.

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Previous articles:

European Parliament stands for human dignity

Dignified role for the woman

Women, conservative evangelicals and their counter-offensive

Connection between women and environmental sustainability

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Related:

About the poverty our world is facing now you may find:

  1. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #1 Up to 21st century
  2. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #2 First two decennia of 21st century
  3. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #3 Right to Human dignity
  4. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #4 The Family pact
  5. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #7 Education
  6. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #8 Work
  7. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #9 Consumption
  8. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #10 Health
  9. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #11 Participation
  10. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #12 Conclusion
  11. European Year for combating poverty spurred mobilisation and commitment
  12. Capitalism downfall
  13. Blow to legitimacy of the capitalist system
  14. Nearly 50 milion poor North Americans
  15. To Work Longer or Die Younger
  16. Demonizing families in poverty and misleading actions
  17. Jerez not an exception of poverty in Spain
  18. Poverty a European Issue
  19. Increasing wealth gap of immense proportions in the Capitalist World
  20. Self inflicted misery #1 The root by man
  21. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  22. Manifests for believers #2 Changing celibacy requirement
  23. Being religious has benefits even in this life

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  • Census Says: Women Are Still Getting the Short End of the Stick (US) (feimineach.com)
    In 2012, women were statistically much poorer than men. And women that were already poor in 2011 stayed that way.
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    one in seven women live in poverty. One in seven. That’s almost 17.8 million women – or 14.5% of the female population. For men, this percentage is lower, at 11%.
  • Recalibrating the poverty line (blogforarizona.com)
    Our definition of poverty, Schwarz says, was calibrated in the 1960s and it’s in need of recalibration. Then, food was a third of an average family’s budget, and the poverty threshold was set at 3 times the cost of an adequate food diet. Today, food is one-sixth of an average family’s budget, but the poverty line is still set at three times the cost of buying food for a family.The poverty line is set at $23,500 for a family of four. According to Schwarz, it should be closer to $41,000.
  • Who’s Job Is It Anyway? (transnationalplanning.wordpress.com)
    how much women were able to thrive in an environment where the men were somewhat “absent”, that is to say, they were not engaged in the affairs that these women were tackling for whatever reasons. Patel & Mitlin stated: “Most of the most powerful women leaders came from among the lower-income and most socially disadvantaged neighborhoods, in part because in these areas the man had given up.” It was amazing to see the role that these women were playing in their communities. Without them, who knows how much worse things would be for their families.
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    Perhaps what we need is not a clear demarcation of what each respective gender should be capable of doing but rather the unhindered opportunity for anyone to be able to address a need. This needs to be an approach accepted by both men and women. In a symbiotic relationship, each member does what is necessary because all will benefit from it. No one stands on ceremony and debates or dictates roles. It just gets done.
  • The disease of poverty is a doctor’s business everywhere (janeparry.wordpress.com)One fifth of Hong Kong’s population lives below the official poverty line. This was set for the first time in September 2013, at 50% of median monthly household income before tax and welfare transfers.Hong Kong has one of the highest per capita GDPs in Asia and ranks 11th globally, yet its Gini coefficient, a measure of income inequality, indicates it has the worst income disparity in the developed world. The announcement of the poverty line and that there are 1.3 million people living below it has been big news in Hong Kong, but it hasn’t generated the sense of righteous outrage that such a statistic should.
  • The Shocking New Study On American Children In Poverty (davidmixner.com)
    In America, 22.5% of our children live below the poverty line. That is also one out of every four children! That comes to 16,400,000 children living without their basic needs of food, shelter, clothes, education, etc being met by our society.
  • Women, Indigenous Australians identified in poverty report (abc.net.au)A 10-year study has found Australia’s most disadvantaged are more likely to be women, Indigenous, and have health problems.To coincide with national poverty week, researchers at the University of Canberra have released a study which tracked 900 people for a decade, who were identified as marginalised in 2001.

    The study found 60 per cent of those identified by the study as marginalised in 2001 had escaped those conditions by 2010.

  • New Book Shows How to Curb Intergenerational Poverty (prweb.com)A new book, Parent Power: The Key to America’s Prosperity, by Dr. Jack Westman reveals the power parents have to create America’s productive citizens. They also have the power to create social problems in the context of intergenerational poverty.Dr. Westman calls attention to the fact that one-third of children and youth in the United States are failing in some aspect of their lives. The United States is at the top of the list of developed nations in child abuse and neglect and the bottom in educational achievement.

    Five children die every day from abuse in the United States. Three million referrals are made to child protective services every year.

  • When gender inequality is good economics (globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com)
    While we know that individuals, economies and societies would benefit from gender parity in the long term, gender inequality is often a perfectly rational choice for individuals in the short term.
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    Gender imbalances, and their resulting economic consequences, are still startlingly visible everywhere, from the developed world to emerging markets.